How to Learn Patience in a Relationship
Consider your partner’s feelings., Buffer your responses., Have realistic expectations., Look at your partner as a whole.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider your partner’s feelings.
One way to deter impatience in your relationship is to think about how your actions and attitudes will affect your partner.
If you are patient and kind with your partner, they will feel loved and adored.
If you are impatient and intolerant, your partner is likely to feel rejected by you.
Keeping this in mind will help motivate you to be patient in your relationship.For example, if your partner forgets to stop and buy milk, saying “That’s okay, we’ll just get it later,” shows that you understand it was a simple mistake.
If you instead say something like “I can’t believe you did this again.
You always forget everything,” you are implying that your partner is flawed and that their mistakes are unacceptable. -
Step 2: Buffer your responses.
Many people turn immediately to an impatient response.
They assume that mistakes or inconveniences are the result of incompetence and carelessness.
This leads to having a bleak outlook on those around you, and will likely cause you to say hurtful things before you even have time to think about what you are saying.
To break this habit, use a buffer to force yourself to think before responding.For example, you could make it a personal rule that when something frustrating happens, you take three deep breaths before you say anything at all.
This will give you time to process the situation and respond appropriately.
In a more serious situation, you could leave the room or go for a walk.
This will allow you time to cool down and think about your reaction. , Patience comes with understanding.
One of the first things you will need to understand about your partner is that they are not perfect.
When you set unrealistic expectations for your partner or decide that things absolutely must go a certain way, you will inevitably be disappointed.
This disappointment will lead to impatience and frustration in the relationship.
Avoid this by having reasonable expectations for your partner.An example of an unreasonable expectation might be thinking that your partner should be home at exactly 5:30 every day, even though they have a 25 minute commute and work until 5:00.
This leaves little to no time to account for things like walking to the car, or changes in traffic, and ultimately sets your partner up to fail.
A reasonable expectation, on the other hand, would be to expect your partner to let you know if they get held up or will be late getting home for some reason.
Another example of unreasonable expectations is to expect your significant other to always want to watch the same shows that you want to watch.
Instead, you could expect that they allow you to choose some of the time, and you allow them to choose other times. , No relationship is perfect.
There will inevitably be points of tension between you and your partner from time to time.
Instead of letting this tension define your relationship during those times, keep in mind the things you love about your partner.
When you see your partner as a whole, it is easier to be patient through stressful times.For example, if your partner does something that really annoys you, like tapping their foot, do not let that pet peeve take precedence over all of the good qualities that you love in your partner.
You might also notice that some expressions your significant other uses often seem repetitive to you.
Keep in mind that you are likely around them more than anyone else, and that you hear their stories and phrases more, too.
Remember that these things are part of the whole person that you fell in love with. -
Step 3: Have realistic expectations.
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Step 4: Look at your partner as a whole.
Detailed Guide
One way to deter impatience in your relationship is to think about how your actions and attitudes will affect your partner.
If you are patient and kind with your partner, they will feel loved and adored.
If you are impatient and intolerant, your partner is likely to feel rejected by you.
Keeping this in mind will help motivate you to be patient in your relationship.For example, if your partner forgets to stop and buy milk, saying “That’s okay, we’ll just get it later,” shows that you understand it was a simple mistake.
If you instead say something like “I can’t believe you did this again.
You always forget everything,” you are implying that your partner is flawed and that their mistakes are unacceptable.
Many people turn immediately to an impatient response.
They assume that mistakes or inconveniences are the result of incompetence and carelessness.
This leads to having a bleak outlook on those around you, and will likely cause you to say hurtful things before you even have time to think about what you are saying.
To break this habit, use a buffer to force yourself to think before responding.For example, you could make it a personal rule that when something frustrating happens, you take three deep breaths before you say anything at all.
This will give you time to process the situation and respond appropriately.
In a more serious situation, you could leave the room or go for a walk.
This will allow you time to cool down and think about your reaction. , Patience comes with understanding.
One of the first things you will need to understand about your partner is that they are not perfect.
When you set unrealistic expectations for your partner or decide that things absolutely must go a certain way, you will inevitably be disappointed.
This disappointment will lead to impatience and frustration in the relationship.
Avoid this by having reasonable expectations for your partner.An example of an unreasonable expectation might be thinking that your partner should be home at exactly 5:30 every day, even though they have a 25 minute commute and work until 5:00.
This leaves little to no time to account for things like walking to the car, or changes in traffic, and ultimately sets your partner up to fail.
A reasonable expectation, on the other hand, would be to expect your partner to let you know if they get held up or will be late getting home for some reason.
Another example of unreasonable expectations is to expect your significant other to always want to watch the same shows that you want to watch.
Instead, you could expect that they allow you to choose some of the time, and you allow them to choose other times. , No relationship is perfect.
There will inevitably be points of tension between you and your partner from time to time.
Instead of letting this tension define your relationship during those times, keep in mind the things you love about your partner.
When you see your partner as a whole, it is easier to be patient through stressful times.For example, if your partner does something that really annoys you, like tapping their foot, do not let that pet peeve take precedence over all of the good qualities that you love in your partner.
You might also notice that some expressions your significant other uses often seem repetitive to you.
Keep in mind that you are likely around them more than anyone else, and that you hear their stories and phrases more, too.
Remember that these things are part of the whole person that you fell in love with.
About the Author
Gloria Ramos
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in lifestyle and beyond.
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