How to Learn to Love Yourself
Imagine how you would react to a friend in your situation., Create a self-compassion script., Write a kind letter to yourself., Give yourself some physical comfort., Practice meditation.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Imagine how you would react to a friend in your situation.
To start practicing self-compassion, it may be helpful for you to start thinking about how you would respond to a friend who was in your situation.
Try to imagine the words and behaviors that you would use to comfort a friend who was dealing with the same problem as you are and write about them.
Some good questions to answer as part of this exercise include:
What would you say to a friend who came to you with the problem that you are having? How would you treat him or her? How do you tend to treat yourself? How is this different from how you would treat a friend? How might a friend react if you treated him or her the way that you treat yourself? How might you start to feel if you treated yourself the way you would treat a friend? -
Step 2: Create a self-compassion script.
In difficult moments, it may be helpful for you to recite a self-compassion script to keep yourself from being over-critical of yourself.
A self-compassion script will help you to acknowledge your feelings and be kind to yourself in the moment.For example, you might say something like, “I am having a really hard time right now, but suffering is part of being human.
The way I feel right now is temporary.” You can alter the script so that it is in your own words or recite it as is whenever you are tempted to criticize yourself. , Another way to start seeing yourself with more compassion is to write yourself a kind letter.
Write the letter from the perspective of a friend who has unconditional love for you.
You can imagine someone real or imaginaryTry starting the letter with something like, “Dear (your name), I heard about (your situation) and I am so sorry.
I want you to know that I care about you….” You can continue the letter from this point.
Remember to maintain a kind, understanding tone throughout the entire letter. , Physical comfort can help you to feel better when you are feeling low.
That is why friends and family members may hug you or pat you on the back if you are struggling with something.
Even if you are alone, you can give yourself the benefits of physical comfort by hugging, patting, or just laying hands on yourself.
Try holding your hands over your heart or wrap your arms around yourself in a big hug., After a while, self-critical thinking may become automatic, which can be difficult to change.
Meditation can help you to become more aware of your thoughts, so you will be able to tell when you are criticizing yourself and address the thoughts rather than letting them take over.Learning to meditate takes time and practice, so it is a good idea to take a class or find someone who can give you lessons.
You can even try a self-compassion guided meditation: http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations -
Step 3: Write a kind letter to yourself.
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Step 4: Give yourself some physical comfort.
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Step 5: Practice meditation.
Detailed Guide
To start practicing self-compassion, it may be helpful for you to start thinking about how you would respond to a friend who was in your situation.
Try to imagine the words and behaviors that you would use to comfort a friend who was dealing with the same problem as you are and write about them.
Some good questions to answer as part of this exercise include:
What would you say to a friend who came to you with the problem that you are having? How would you treat him or her? How do you tend to treat yourself? How is this different from how you would treat a friend? How might a friend react if you treated him or her the way that you treat yourself? How might you start to feel if you treated yourself the way you would treat a friend?
In difficult moments, it may be helpful for you to recite a self-compassion script to keep yourself from being over-critical of yourself.
A self-compassion script will help you to acknowledge your feelings and be kind to yourself in the moment.For example, you might say something like, “I am having a really hard time right now, but suffering is part of being human.
The way I feel right now is temporary.” You can alter the script so that it is in your own words or recite it as is whenever you are tempted to criticize yourself. , Another way to start seeing yourself with more compassion is to write yourself a kind letter.
Write the letter from the perspective of a friend who has unconditional love for you.
You can imagine someone real or imaginaryTry starting the letter with something like, “Dear (your name), I heard about (your situation) and I am so sorry.
I want you to know that I care about you….” You can continue the letter from this point.
Remember to maintain a kind, understanding tone throughout the entire letter. , Physical comfort can help you to feel better when you are feeling low.
That is why friends and family members may hug you or pat you on the back if you are struggling with something.
Even if you are alone, you can give yourself the benefits of physical comfort by hugging, patting, or just laying hands on yourself.
Try holding your hands over your heart or wrap your arms around yourself in a big hug., After a while, self-critical thinking may become automatic, which can be difficult to change.
Meditation can help you to become more aware of your thoughts, so you will be able to tell when you are criticizing yourself and address the thoughts rather than letting them take over.Learning to meditate takes time and practice, so it is a good idea to take a class or find someone who can give you lessons.
You can even try a self-compassion guided meditation: http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
About the Author
Laura Hart
Writer and educator with a focus on practical practical skills knowledge.
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