How to Make Your Partner Come Back to You

Accept the situation., Focus on your physical health., Pay attention to your mental health., Soothe yourself., Build your confidence.

5 Steps 5 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Accept the situation.

    The first step toward trying to mend a broken relationship is to accept how things currently are and give up control over your partner.Acceptance of feelings, thoughts, and situations actually increases your ability to make positive changes.This occurs because practicing acceptance takes the pressure off of the need to control the situation and shifts your focus onto things you really can control such as your own behaviors.

    Let's say that you and your partner split up because you had a fight about not spending enough quality time together.

    Out of anger, your partner broke up with you.

    Try to accept your partner's feelings about the situation (anger), and allow for space to deal with these emotions.

    Accept that right now you are not together but maintain hope that you may be able to mend the relationship.

    Remember that your partner has a choice about what whether she wants to be in a relationship with your or not.

    You may not be able to fully control the outcome of the situation with your partner.

    Ask yourself questions like, how much can I control in this situation? Is there anything I can do about this?Imagine that your partner broke up with you due to lack of private time together.

    Can you control that your partner broke up with you? No.

    But what you can control is how you react to the situation.
  2. Step 2: Focus on your physical health.

    Experiencing loss can lead to physical issues such as: headaches, nausea, chills, high blood pressure, heart palpitations, and more.Therefore, it is important to maintain your physical health in order to combat these common symptoms and cope easier with the recent breakup.

    Make sure you are sleeping at least 8 hours per night.

    If you are having trouble sleeping, try relaxation techniques such a deep breathing exercises.

    Simply breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, while focusing on how your breathing feels.

    Do this until you feel completely relaxed or fall asleep.

    Exercise regularly even if it's just taking a walk around the block.

    Cardiovascular exercise, such as aerobics or running, can be especially helpful in increasing endorphins in the brain and thus reducing feelings of sadness.

    Drink plenty of water, and limit caffeine drinks as they may increase anxiety.

    Eat healthy.

    Oftentimes, we may turn to junk food or comfort food to make us feel better because food also releases similar endorphins in the brain.

    However, overeating or eating unhealthy food can make you more stressed, and is not healthy for your body. , Experiencing a loss or break-up can lead to all kinds of mental health concerns and negative feelings such as: anxiety, depression, anger, fear, difficulty concentrating, nightmares, memory issues (forgetfulness), impaired judgment, and impulsivity or poor decisions.Due to these possible symptoms and their negative effect, it is critical to acknowledge your specific mental health concerns (everyone is different) and try your best to cope in healthy ways.

    Be mindful of your emotions and name them.

    Analyze how you are feeling, is it anger, sadness, or another emotion? How do you experience that emotion? Where do you feel it in your body? For example, when you are angry your muscles might feel very tense, your heart might race, you may experiencing trembling, and you might clench your fists.

    Understand that some negative emotions are necessary and useful.

    Guilt, for example, can serve to actually strengthen bonds between people because it often causes the guilty person to want to make up for her behavior by doing something nice for the other person., Often people feel guilty, anger, or depressed when they have relationship issues or are dealing with a recent break-up.It is important to understand how to soothe yourself when dealing with these negative emotions.

    If you cannot cope in a healthy way, it will be more difficult to appropriately communicate with your partner about getting back together.

    Use your coping skills for dealing with each negative emotion.

    For example, if you are feeling angry you might try kickboxing or punching/screaming into a pillow in order to healthily release some of the tension.

    If you are feeling sad, you might try writing in a journal about your feelings and then watching a funny movie to cheer yourself up.

    Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope.

    You don’t want to be intoxicated and make a bad decision such as trying to talk to your ex.

    If you are inebriated when communicating this may lead to miscommunication. , Practice self-acceptance and increase your confidence by owning your weaknesses; this can help you make positive changes.Work on tolerating being alone; try shopping alone, going out to eat alone, going for a jog, etc.

    Focus on the things you like about yourself and who you are that are independent from your relationship.

    Remember that you are your own person
    - with your own unique qualities and talents.

    One way to focus on your positive qualities is to write down everything you like about yourself, from your hair to your attitude.

    Try engaging in activities that you are good at.

    Some examples may include: art, writing, crafts, cooking, exercise, and sports.
  3. Step 3: Pay attention to your mental health.

  4. Step 4: Soothe yourself.

  5. Step 5: Build your confidence.

Detailed Guide

The first step toward trying to mend a broken relationship is to accept how things currently are and give up control over your partner.Acceptance of feelings, thoughts, and situations actually increases your ability to make positive changes.This occurs because practicing acceptance takes the pressure off of the need to control the situation and shifts your focus onto things you really can control such as your own behaviors.

Let's say that you and your partner split up because you had a fight about not spending enough quality time together.

Out of anger, your partner broke up with you.

Try to accept your partner's feelings about the situation (anger), and allow for space to deal with these emotions.

Accept that right now you are not together but maintain hope that you may be able to mend the relationship.

Remember that your partner has a choice about what whether she wants to be in a relationship with your or not.

You may not be able to fully control the outcome of the situation with your partner.

Ask yourself questions like, how much can I control in this situation? Is there anything I can do about this?Imagine that your partner broke up with you due to lack of private time together.

Can you control that your partner broke up with you? No.

But what you can control is how you react to the situation.

Experiencing loss can lead to physical issues such as: headaches, nausea, chills, high blood pressure, heart palpitations, and more.Therefore, it is important to maintain your physical health in order to combat these common symptoms and cope easier with the recent breakup.

Make sure you are sleeping at least 8 hours per night.

If you are having trouble sleeping, try relaxation techniques such a deep breathing exercises.

Simply breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, while focusing on how your breathing feels.

Do this until you feel completely relaxed or fall asleep.

Exercise regularly even if it's just taking a walk around the block.

Cardiovascular exercise, such as aerobics or running, can be especially helpful in increasing endorphins in the brain and thus reducing feelings of sadness.

Drink plenty of water, and limit caffeine drinks as they may increase anxiety.

Eat healthy.

Oftentimes, we may turn to junk food or comfort food to make us feel better because food also releases similar endorphins in the brain.

However, overeating or eating unhealthy food can make you more stressed, and is not healthy for your body. , Experiencing a loss or break-up can lead to all kinds of mental health concerns and negative feelings such as: anxiety, depression, anger, fear, difficulty concentrating, nightmares, memory issues (forgetfulness), impaired judgment, and impulsivity or poor decisions.Due to these possible symptoms and their negative effect, it is critical to acknowledge your specific mental health concerns (everyone is different) and try your best to cope in healthy ways.

Be mindful of your emotions and name them.

Analyze how you are feeling, is it anger, sadness, or another emotion? How do you experience that emotion? Where do you feel it in your body? For example, when you are angry your muscles might feel very tense, your heart might race, you may experiencing trembling, and you might clench your fists.

Understand that some negative emotions are necessary and useful.

Guilt, for example, can serve to actually strengthen bonds between people because it often causes the guilty person to want to make up for her behavior by doing something nice for the other person., Often people feel guilty, anger, or depressed when they have relationship issues or are dealing with a recent break-up.It is important to understand how to soothe yourself when dealing with these negative emotions.

If you cannot cope in a healthy way, it will be more difficult to appropriately communicate with your partner about getting back together.

Use your coping skills for dealing with each negative emotion.

For example, if you are feeling angry you might try kickboxing or punching/screaming into a pillow in order to healthily release some of the tension.

If you are feeling sad, you might try writing in a journal about your feelings and then watching a funny movie to cheer yourself up.

Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope.

You don’t want to be intoxicated and make a bad decision such as trying to talk to your ex.

If you are inebriated when communicating this may lead to miscommunication. , Practice self-acceptance and increase your confidence by owning your weaknesses; this can help you make positive changes.Work on tolerating being alone; try shopping alone, going out to eat alone, going for a jog, etc.

Focus on the things you like about yourself and who you are that are independent from your relationship.

Remember that you are your own person
- with your own unique qualities and talents.

One way to focus on your positive qualities is to write down everything you like about yourself, from your hair to your attitude.

Try engaging in activities that you are good at.

Some examples may include: art, writing, crafts, cooking, exercise, and sports.

About the Author

A

Alan Sanchez

Alan Sanchez specializes in marketing strategies and has been creating helpful content for over 2 years. Alan is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.

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