How to Practice Abstinence While Dating

Talk about abstinence at the appropriate time.You may not want or need to tell someone that you are abstinent on the first date., Define what abstinence means for you., Explain your choice to practice abstinence., Communicate abstinence with your...

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Talk about abstinence at the appropriate time.You may not want or need to tell someone that you are abstinent on the first date.

    It is the first date, after all.

    But, if you continue dating, you will probably need to let the other person know that you are practicing abstinence before you become too intimate.You could try saying, “Before we go any further in our relationship, I think we should talk about sex.

    I’m practicing abstinence.” Or, you might say, “Our relationship is getting more serious and I want to let you know that I’m abstinent and talk about it with you.”
  2. Step 2: Define what abstinence means for you.

    It is generally accepted that abstinence means not having sex, but some people have different opinions of what sex includes.

    It will be easier for you to practice abstinence while dating if you are clear about what you mean by abstinent.

    In other words, define what exactly you are abstaining from.

    Tell your partner what sexual acts, if any, you are comfortable with.

    Or, if you aren’t comfortable doing anything sexually, then say that.

    For example, you might say, “I’m abstaining from intercourse, but I’m okay with other sexual contact.” Or, you could try, “I’m abstinent.

    So that I don’t get tempted, I choose not to have any type of sexual contact.” , Tell the person you’re dating why you are practicing abstinence so that they can understand your decision, and you, better.Once they know the reasons for your choice, it may be easier for them to understand.

    Try saying, “I don’t want to have children yet, and this is the best way to make sure that I don’t.” Or, if you have religious reasons, you might say, “I’m abstinent because my religion and beliefs say that it is right to wait for marriage.” Or even, “I don’t want to complicate my life with sex right now, so I’m choosing to wait to have sex again.” , Don’t be a tease by doing things that you know will get the person you’re dating sexually aroused.

    It can be confusing and frustrating if you say that you’re abstinent, but purposely do things that are sexually arousing or go along with it when they do.For example, if you say you don’t want any type of sexual contact, then don’t touch your date in a sexual way.

    Or, for instance, if you say you are only okay with touching with clothes on, then don’t take your shirt off.
  3. Step 3: Explain your choice to practice abstinence.

  4. Step 4: Communicate abstinence with your body language.

Detailed Guide

It is the first date, after all.

But, if you continue dating, you will probably need to let the other person know that you are practicing abstinence before you become too intimate.You could try saying, “Before we go any further in our relationship, I think we should talk about sex.

I’m practicing abstinence.” Or, you might say, “Our relationship is getting more serious and I want to let you know that I’m abstinent and talk about it with you.”

It is generally accepted that abstinence means not having sex, but some people have different opinions of what sex includes.

It will be easier for you to practice abstinence while dating if you are clear about what you mean by abstinent.

In other words, define what exactly you are abstaining from.

Tell your partner what sexual acts, if any, you are comfortable with.

Or, if you aren’t comfortable doing anything sexually, then say that.

For example, you might say, “I’m abstaining from intercourse, but I’m okay with other sexual contact.” Or, you could try, “I’m abstinent.

So that I don’t get tempted, I choose not to have any type of sexual contact.” , Tell the person you’re dating why you are practicing abstinence so that they can understand your decision, and you, better.Once they know the reasons for your choice, it may be easier for them to understand.

Try saying, “I don’t want to have children yet, and this is the best way to make sure that I don’t.” Or, if you have religious reasons, you might say, “I’m abstinent because my religion and beliefs say that it is right to wait for marriage.” Or even, “I don’t want to complicate my life with sex right now, so I’m choosing to wait to have sex again.” , Don’t be a tease by doing things that you know will get the person you’re dating sexually aroused.

It can be confusing and frustrating if you say that you’re abstinent, but purposely do things that are sexually arousing or go along with it when they do.For example, if you say you don’t want any type of sexual contact, then don’t touch your date in a sexual way.

Or, for instance, if you say you are only okay with touching with clothes on, then don’t take your shirt off.

About the Author

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Amanda Ruiz

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