How to Prepare to File for Divorce

Consult with a lawyer., Consider talking with your spouse about the divorce., Determine that the best course is to move forward on your own., Create a divorce mission statement.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Consult with a lawyer.

    Hiring a lawyer to help you navigate your divorce is important for many reasons.

    When you're firm on your decision to get a divorce, no matter whether the idea was initiated by you or your spouse, consult with a divorce lawyer before taking any other action.

    The lawyer will participate in your divorce preparation in the following ways:
    He or she will work with you to ensure that you will get the assets, property, and child custody to which you are entitled.

    He or she will act as a mediator with your spouse's lawyer, so you'll never be put on the spot.

    A lawyer will make sure that your divorce proceedings are professional and legal, and that your divorce papers are drafted and filed correctly.

    A lawyer will guide you through the entire process and help you make good decisions that may otherwise be clouded by pain and emotion.
  2. Step 2: Consider talking with your spouse about the divorce.

    If you and your spouse have mutually come to the decision that divorce is the right choice, you may be able to proceed with the divorce amicably.

    Divorcing amicably requires spending a lot of time with your spouse to discuss important matters; this is certainly possible, but it can be difficult.

    Consult with your lawyer first to make sure speaking with your spouse is a good idea.

    Then, to put things in motion, discuss these big issues with your spouse in preparation for the divorce:
    How you want to divide your assets and possessions.

    Who will live in the home you now share.

    How to divide custody of your children.

    Whether child support will be sought by one partner. , Sometimes the divorce conversation begins amicably but eventually takes a negative turn.

    In other cases you know from the start that discussing it with your spouse is a bad idea.

    It's perfectly fine to forego having a conversation with your spouse and forge ahead with the divorce on your own, notifying your spouse later when you've got everything in place for the proceedings to begin.

    This might be the best path for you if one of the following circumstances applies:
    You're in an abusive marriage, and you're afraid your spouse will try to block the divorce or threaten you with physical harm.

    You want a divorce because your spouse had an affair or otherwise broke your trust.

    You're concerned that involving your spouse in preliminary conversations will affect your ability to get custody of your children.

    You believe your spouse will take action to make sure you don't get your fair share of assets.

    You no longer trust your spouse for any reason, regardless of why you're filing for divorce and who initiated the divorce discussion. , Regardless of what approach you take to your divorce, it's a good idea to clearly outline your goals and desires from the beginning.

    Try set your emotions aside and think carefully about what you want your life to look like once the divorce is complete.

    Think through the major questions that the divorce will affect, then share your answers with your lawyer.

    Where do you want to be living after the divorce? What property is important for you to keep after the divorce? What child custody specifications are important to you? How will you make a living after the divorce?
  3. Step 3: Determine that the best course is to move forward on your own.

  4. Step 4: Create a divorce mission statement.

Detailed Guide

Hiring a lawyer to help you navigate your divorce is important for many reasons.

When you're firm on your decision to get a divorce, no matter whether the idea was initiated by you or your spouse, consult with a divorce lawyer before taking any other action.

The lawyer will participate in your divorce preparation in the following ways:
He or she will work with you to ensure that you will get the assets, property, and child custody to which you are entitled.

He or she will act as a mediator with your spouse's lawyer, so you'll never be put on the spot.

A lawyer will make sure that your divorce proceedings are professional and legal, and that your divorce papers are drafted and filed correctly.

A lawyer will guide you through the entire process and help you make good decisions that may otherwise be clouded by pain and emotion.

If you and your spouse have mutually come to the decision that divorce is the right choice, you may be able to proceed with the divorce amicably.

Divorcing amicably requires spending a lot of time with your spouse to discuss important matters; this is certainly possible, but it can be difficult.

Consult with your lawyer first to make sure speaking with your spouse is a good idea.

Then, to put things in motion, discuss these big issues with your spouse in preparation for the divorce:
How you want to divide your assets and possessions.

Who will live in the home you now share.

How to divide custody of your children.

Whether child support will be sought by one partner. , Sometimes the divorce conversation begins amicably but eventually takes a negative turn.

In other cases you know from the start that discussing it with your spouse is a bad idea.

It's perfectly fine to forego having a conversation with your spouse and forge ahead with the divorce on your own, notifying your spouse later when you've got everything in place for the proceedings to begin.

This might be the best path for you if one of the following circumstances applies:
You're in an abusive marriage, and you're afraid your spouse will try to block the divorce or threaten you with physical harm.

You want a divorce because your spouse had an affair or otherwise broke your trust.

You're concerned that involving your spouse in preliminary conversations will affect your ability to get custody of your children.

You believe your spouse will take action to make sure you don't get your fair share of assets.

You no longer trust your spouse for any reason, regardless of why you're filing for divorce and who initiated the divorce discussion. , Regardless of what approach you take to your divorce, it's a good idea to clearly outline your goals and desires from the beginning.

Try set your emotions aside and think carefully about what you want your life to look like once the divorce is complete.

Think through the major questions that the divorce will affect, then share your answers with your lawyer.

Where do you want to be living after the divorce? What property is important for you to keep after the divorce? What child custody specifications are important to you? How will you make a living after the divorce?

About the Author

J

Jose Campbell

A passionate writer with expertise in practical skills topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

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