How to Rebuild Mutually Lost Trust in a Relationship
Identify and share your deal breakers., Assess whether you can fulfill one another’s needs., Recommit to the relationship., Leave the relationship.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify and share your deal breakers.
If you and your mate both betrayed one another’s trust, there’s a chance you haven’t had a discussion about your non-negotiables.
These are behaviors that you find unacceptable when coming from your partner because they violate your values and ethics.
Sit down with one another and figure out what yours are.
Get separate sheets of paper.
Each of you should make a list of things that you will not tolerate in a relationship.
Once you have compiled your lists, share them aloud with one another.
Non-negotiables can be trivial demands like preferring that your partner keep their space clean to more serious concerns like refusing to date someone who uses drugs.Disloyalty occurs in relationships when each partner isn’t aware of the other’s non-negotiables.
Now that you are considering starting anew, this is a good time to lay everything out on the table.
Being open and honest with each other is a great way to start correcting the issues that broke your trust in the first place. -
Step 2: Assess whether you can fulfill one another’s needs.
After hearing your partner’s relationship deal breakers, ask yourself whether you are able to oblige their needs.
You may even need to take time apart before moving forward with the relationship to truly consider this.
It’s understood that a person isn’t going to be willing to compromise on these non-negotiables.
So, are you able to be the partner they desire?Let’s imagine your girlfriend says she absolutely will not tolerate a racist partner.
As a result, you might consider whether you are able to suppress or overcome your bigoted viewpoints. , If both partners acknowledge and accept the other’s non-negotiables, you now need to make a new commitment to the relationship.
In a sense, you are vowing to set aside your differences and put in effort to make your relationship work.You may even make your recommitment ceremonial by going out on a nice date or buying a cake and blowing out candles.
It may even feel meaningful to write each of your betrayals down on a sheet of paper.
And, then tear the paper into tiny shreds or light it on fire. , If, after discussing your deal breakers, one or both partners decide they cannot meet these needs, this is probably the best time to call it quits.
Neither of you should give up your non-negotiables for the relationship.
Doing so will only lead to unhappiness and resentment.
Sacrificing your values for the sake of the relationship will also jeopardize your ability to restore trust.
If you can’t meet your partner’s needs, agree to go your separate ways.
Try to give each other some space first before you decide to leave.
Giving each other space may provide a different perspective and help to clarify whether your non-negotiables can truly be negotiated. -
Step 3: Recommit to the relationship.
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Step 4: Leave the relationship.
Detailed Guide
If you and your mate both betrayed one another’s trust, there’s a chance you haven’t had a discussion about your non-negotiables.
These are behaviors that you find unacceptable when coming from your partner because they violate your values and ethics.
Sit down with one another and figure out what yours are.
Get separate sheets of paper.
Each of you should make a list of things that you will not tolerate in a relationship.
Once you have compiled your lists, share them aloud with one another.
Non-negotiables can be trivial demands like preferring that your partner keep their space clean to more serious concerns like refusing to date someone who uses drugs.Disloyalty occurs in relationships when each partner isn’t aware of the other’s non-negotiables.
Now that you are considering starting anew, this is a good time to lay everything out on the table.
Being open and honest with each other is a great way to start correcting the issues that broke your trust in the first place.
After hearing your partner’s relationship deal breakers, ask yourself whether you are able to oblige their needs.
You may even need to take time apart before moving forward with the relationship to truly consider this.
It’s understood that a person isn’t going to be willing to compromise on these non-negotiables.
So, are you able to be the partner they desire?Let’s imagine your girlfriend says she absolutely will not tolerate a racist partner.
As a result, you might consider whether you are able to suppress or overcome your bigoted viewpoints. , If both partners acknowledge and accept the other’s non-negotiables, you now need to make a new commitment to the relationship.
In a sense, you are vowing to set aside your differences and put in effort to make your relationship work.You may even make your recommitment ceremonial by going out on a nice date or buying a cake and blowing out candles.
It may even feel meaningful to write each of your betrayals down on a sheet of paper.
And, then tear the paper into tiny shreds or light it on fire. , If, after discussing your deal breakers, one or both partners decide they cannot meet these needs, this is probably the best time to call it quits.
Neither of you should give up your non-negotiables for the relationship.
Doing so will only lead to unhappiness and resentment.
Sacrificing your values for the sake of the relationship will also jeopardize your ability to restore trust.
If you can’t meet your partner’s needs, agree to go your separate ways.
Try to give each other some space first before you decide to leave.
Giving each other space may provide a different perspective and help to clarify whether your non-negotiables can truly be negotiated.
About the Author
Teresa Vasquez
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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