How to Settle an Argument
Remain calm., Focus on what you can support with evidence., Try to keep the other person’s interests at heart., Identify your main goal.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Remain calm.
When we experience conflict, our stress hormones can impair our judgment and make it easy to escalate an argument quickly.
However, we can use mindfulness and breathing to help us remain calm during an argument.
Remaining calm will also allow the other person to hear what we are saying in a way that acting angry won't.Take a few deep breaths.
Breathing is a natural way to calm yourself when you're agitated.
It will slow the heart rate, and calm your body down so that you can approach the situation with a clear head.Go for a brisk walk around the block.
Taking a quick walk may also help you to gather your thoughts and calm down.
If possible, excuse yourself and walk around the block a few times.
Visualize a serene place.
If you can take a few minutes to yourself, try closing your eyes and imagining a calm place, such as a beach or a lush forest.
Imagine the sights, sounds, smells, and physical sensations to the place to help yourself relax. -
Step 2: Focus on what you can support with evidence.
When in an argument, it's easy to catastrophize our own position, and minimize the other person's.
Not only does this keep us from getting to the issue at hand, it increases negative emotions during an argument.
It can also help us see the other person's points, and learn to give way on issues that aren't as important as our emotions have led us to believe.Say to yourself, "What evidence do I have that Susan wants to take over the nursery project?" Then say to yourself, "What evidence do I have that Susan wants me to be a part of this process?" By doing this, you are taking a second to analyze the situation and calming yourself before speaking.
Our initial thoughts and feelings are often worse than what is really true., Not only does this help you keep perspective, it is also a powerful rhetorical strategy.
If someone believes you have their best interests in mind, they are more likely to listen to you.
It will also allow you to come up with a solution that works best for everyone, not just you., If you are focused on minor details, it may be helpful to think about what the underlying issues might be.
If you think through what you actually want and what the person you’re arguing with wants, you might come to the realization that you share the same goal and be willing to compromise on the little details.For instance, if you’re trying to prepare a nursery for a new baby, you might realize that what’s driving the argument is your desire to provide a nurturing environment for your new baby, not the individual choices for the nursery. -
Step 3: Try to keep the other person’s interests at heart.
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Step 4: Identify your main goal.
Detailed Guide
When we experience conflict, our stress hormones can impair our judgment and make it easy to escalate an argument quickly.
However, we can use mindfulness and breathing to help us remain calm during an argument.
Remaining calm will also allow the other person to hear what we are saying in a way that acting angry won't.Take a few deep breaths.
Breathing is a natural way to calm yourself when you're agitated.
It will slow the heart rate, and calm your body down so that you can approach the situation with a clear head.Go for a brisk walk around the block.
Taking a quick walk may also help you to gather your thoughts and calm down.
If possible, excuse yourself and walk around the block a few times.
Visualize a serene place.
If you can take a few minutes to yourself, try closing your eyes and imagining a calm place, such as a beach or a lush forest.
Imagine the sights, sounds, smells, and physical sensations to the place to help yourself relax.
When in an argument, it's easy to catastrophize our own position, and minimize the other person's.
Not only does this keep us from getting to the issue at hand, it increases negative emotions during an argument.
It can also help us see the other person's points, and learn to give way on issues that aren't as important as our emotions have led us to believe.Say to yourself, "What evidence do I have that Susan wants to take over the nursery project?" Then say to yourself, "What evidence do I have that Susan wants me to be a part of this process?" By doing this, you are taking a second to analyze the situation and calming yourself before speaking.
Our initial thoughts and feelings are often worse than what is really true., Not only does this help you keep perspective, it is also a powerful rhetorical strategy.
If someone believes you have their best interests in mind, they are more likely to listen to you.
It will also allow you to come up with a solution that works best for everyone, not just you., If you are focused on minor details, it may be helpful to think about what the underlying issues might be.
If you think through what you actually want and what the person you’re arguing with wants, you might come to the realization that you share the same goal and be willing to compromise on the little details.For instance, if you’re trying to prepare a nursery for a new baby, you might realize that what’s driving the argument is your desire to provide a nurturing environment for your new baby, not the individual choices for the nursery.
About the Author
Sarah Torres
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow DIY projects tutorials.
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