How to Stop Comparing Dates to Your Ex
Release expectations., Give it time., Try to find unique qualities in the new person., Change up your “type.” Odds are, if you are comparing new dates to your ex that you are actually searching for that person in a new suitor.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Release expectations.
One of the reasons you might keep comparing new dates to your ex is because you’re worried about committing to them.
Although a long-term, healthy relationship may be your ultimate goal, you might be missing out on opportunities because of this pressure.
Just date for the sake of dating without questioning where it might go., Are you immediately judging new dates without really giving them a chance? In some situations, it may take several dates to discover attractive qualities or quirks about a new person that you don’t see at first.
Set a timeframe before you start pre-judging new dates.
Let’s say you give them a three-date minimum before deciding if they are worth continuing to see.
That way, you don’t cross anyone off your list because they don’t come off as perfect on the first date. , Challenge yourself to dig a little deeper and search for traits this person has that are appealing to you (that have nothing to do with your ex).
You may be conditioned to immediately start tearing down a person, noticing all of their flaws.
Instead, check off all the things you do like.
You may find that these qualities outweigh those you don’t.Purposefully look for qualities that you like in this person.
For example, maybe a new date has an adorable laugh, gets really passionate when talking about animals, and has a great sense of style. , Switch it up a bit and go on a few dates with people who are drastically different from your ex.
This will help you see that you may have gotten stuck in a type.
It may also help you to see that many dates can offer promising traits without being like your ex.For example, if your ex was a serious business professional, it may be nice to date someone who is more relaxed and fun in their work, such as an artist or video game developer.
Or, your ex may spend their free time screening films indoors, so you date a new person who mostly enjoys outdoor activities. -
Step 2: Give it time.
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Step 3: Try to find unique qualities in the new person.
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Step 4: Change up your “type.” Odds are
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Step 5: if you are comparing new dates to your ex that you are actually searching for that person in a new suitor.
Detailed Guide
One of the reasons you might keep comparing new dates to your ex is because you’re worried about committing to them.
Although a long-term, healthy relationship may be your ultimate goal, you might be missing out on opportunities because of this pressure.
Just date for the sake of dating without questioning where it might go., Are you immediately judging new dates without really giving them a chance? In some situations, it may take several dates to discover attractive qualities or quirks about a new person that you don’t see at first.
Set a timeframe before you start pre-judging new dates.
Let’s say you give them a three-date minimum before deciding if they are worth continuing to see.
That way, you don’t cross anyone off your list because they don’t come off as perfect on the first date. , Challenge yourself to dig a little deeper and search for traits this person has that are appealing to you (that have nothing to do with your ex).
You may be conditioned to immediately start tearing down a person, noticing all of their flaws.
Instead, check off all the things you do like.
You may find that these qualities outweigh those you don’t.Purposefully look for qualities that you like in this person.
For example, maybe a new date has an adorable laugh, gets really passionate when talking about animals, and has a great sense of style. , Switch it up a bit and go on a few dates with people who are drastically different from your ex.
This will help you see that you may have gotten stuck in a type.
It may also help you to see that many dates can offer promising traits without being like your ex.For example, if your ex was a serious business professional, it may be nice to date someone who is more relaxed and fun in their work, such as an artist or video game developer.
Or, your ex may spend their free time screening films indoors, so you date a new person who mostly enjoys outdoor activities.
About the Author
Brian Cox
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in DIY projects and beyond.
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