How to Stop Emotionally Withholding from Your Partner
Understand emotional detachment., Ask yourself if you are giving the silent treatment., Pay attention to whether or not you withhold affection or support., Notice whether you spend more time with other people., Ask yourself if you feel vulnerable...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand emotional detachment.
There are two big reasons people detach emotionally.
One is that you have trouble connecting with others on an emotional level.
The other is that detaching emotionally can provide a sense of control in your relationship with others.
Spend some time thinking about why you detach from your partner.
Making a list of reasons you detach can help you understand why you do it. -
Step 2: Ask yourself if you are giving the silent treatment.
Do you refuse to talk to your partner or answer questions as minimally as possible? Do you barely acknowledge your partner’s existence or avoid making eye contact? If so, you are likely giving them the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional withholding.
The silent treatment is considered to be emotional manipulation and can have damaging and long-lasting effects on a relationship.
It is intended to inflict pain on a person and is often even seen as a form of abuse., It’s understandable to abstain from affection during arguments, but if you constantly deny your partner physical love, you are likely withholding.
Not only does this make your partner feel unworthy of your love, but it’s a quick way for them to look elsewhere to fulfill the physical aspects of your relationship that you aren’t providing.
Not providing emotional support for your partner is also an easy way to make them feel unwanted and unappreciated, which can lead to a relationship’s demise., Choosing others to spend your time with instead of your partner is a form of withholding.
By being absent, you aren’t providing your significant other with what they need, both physically and emotionally.
They will resent you over time, and may cheat on you or leave the relationship because of it., Taking the plunge and giving your all in a relationship evokes a bit of fear in just about everyone.
However, if you are afraid to give someone everything because you are vulnerable, you are likely only setting yourself up for disaster.
By not providing the emotional support they need, you will likely make them leave, which you may have prevented if you weren’t afraid of being left vulnerable., Have you been hurt in relationships so many times you’ve decided that putting yourself out there just isn’t worth it anymore? Were you told that you were unlovable and refuse to believe that anyone could? If so, these scars may be the source of your inability to give yourself emotionally to anyone.
Oftentimes, the situations people experience as children affect their relationships.
People often repeat what they were taught.
For example, if your parents gave you the silent treatment when they were angry, you may do the same, and may not even realize you are doing it., Independent people may feel like they will lose themselves if they give their all to a relationship.
Instead of doing the activities you normally enjoy, you may find yourself engaging in more of what your partner wants to do.
This could be a point of contention, making you check out of the relationship.
Rather than spending time with your friends, you may hang out more with your partner.
You may also think constantly about your partner, which opens you up to vulnerability.
All of these behaviors can make you feel like your identity has been lost, which can be quite frightening. -
Step 3: Pay attention to whether or not you withhold affection or support.
-
Step 4: Notice whether you spend more time with other people.
-
Step 5: Ask yourself if you feel vulnerable.
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Step 6: Examine if past relationships have caused your issues.
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Step 7: Question if love will make you forget who you are.
Detailed Guide
There are two big reasons people detach emotionally.
One is that you have trouble connecting with others on an emotional level.
The other is that detaching emotionally can provide a sense of control in your relationship with others.
Spend some time thinking about why you detach from your partner.
Making a list of reasons you detach can help you understand why you do it.
Do you refuse to talk to your partner or answer questions as minimally as possible? Do you barely acknowledge your partner’s existence or avoid making eye contact? If so, you are likely giving them the silent treatment, which is a form of emotional withholding.
The silent treatment is considered to be emotional manipulation and can have damaging and long-lasting effects on a relationship.
It is intended to inflict pain on a person and is often even seen as a form of abuse., It’s understandable to abstain from affection during arguments, but if you constantly deny your partner physical love, you are likely withholding.
Not only does this make your partner feel unworthy of your love, but it’s a quick way for them to look elsewhere to fulfill the physical aspects of your relationship that you aren’t providing.
Not providing emotional support for your partner is also an easy way to make them feel unwanted and unappreciated, which can lead to a relationship’s demise., Choosing others to spend your time with instead of your partner is a form of withholding.
By being absent, you aren’t providing your significant other with what they need, both physically and emotionally.
They will resent you over time, and may cheat on you or leave the relationship because of it., Taking the plunge and giving your all in a relationship evokes a bit of fear in just about everyone.
However, if you are afraid to give someone everything because you are vulnerable, you are likely only setting yourself up for disaster.
By not providing the emotional support they need, you will likely make them leave, which you may have prevented if you weren’t afraid of being left vulnerable., Have you been hurt in relationships so many times you’ve decided that putting yourself out there just isn’t worth it anymore? Were you told that you were unlovable and refuse to believe that anyone could? If so, these scars may be the source of your inability to give yourself emotionally to anyone.
Oftentimes, the situations people experience as children affect their relationships.
People often repeat what they were taught.
For example, if your parents gave you the silent treatment when they were angry, you may do the same, and may not even realize you are doing it., Independent people may feel like they will lose themselves if they give their all to a relationship.
Instead of doing the activities you normally enjoy, you may find yourself engaging in more of what your partner wants to do.
This could be a point of contention, making you check out of the relationship.
Rather than spending time with your friends, you may hang out more with your partner.
You may also think constantly about your partner, which opens you up to vulnerability.
All of these behaviors can make you feel like your identity has been lost, which can be quite frightening.
About the Author
Timothy Rodriguez
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow crafts tutorials.
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