How to Stop Loving a Guy
Stop contacting your ex., Throw away old mementos from the relationship., Unfollow him on social media., Find healthy ways to grieve., Avoid idealizing the relationship.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stop contacting your ex.
If he’s always on your mind, it might be difficult to refrain from picking up the phone to call him.
However, the longer you go without talking to him, the easier it will become with each passing day.
Try changing his name in your contacts list to something to remind you not to call, like “DO NOT CALL!” Better yet, you may consider deleting his number completely.
Don’t text him or send him emails, either.
Consider erasing your text messages and emails from him so you won’t be tempted to re-read them and get nostalgic or upset.
If you have strong urge to call him, then you might try calling up a friend instead and talk to her about your desire to call your ex.
This will give you a chance to examine why you want to call and your friend can provide an objective perspective on why you probably should not call him. -
Step 2: Throw away old mementos from the relationship.
If you dated this guy for a while, it’s likely you have some things lying around that remind you of him when you see them.
Maybe his toothbrush is still in your bathroom, or his sweatshirt is still hanging in your closet.
Get rid of these little reminders.
Donate old clothes that belonged to him, and toss out old movie ticket stubs.
If you get rid of the things that make you think of him when you look at them, you might be able to keep yourself from thinking of him at all.
If you have anything of his that is especially valuable or that he might want back, put it in a box and mail it back to him, or leave it on his front step.
Avoid making contact with him in the process of giving the things back to him.
Even if you never formally dated, get rid of or put away the things you have that remind you of him.
For example, if you have photos of him around, consider getting rid of them to help get over him. , Keep his posts off of your social media feeds.
If you aren’t ready to completely erase him from your friends lists, you can choose to unfollow his posts until you feel like you’re strong enough to see them again.
Seeing his posts will only make you think of him more, and it will be more difficult to let him go.Consider taking a break from social media in general.
That way, you won’t be constantly bombarded with status updates and photos about other couples that might make you think about the guy you’re trying to get over.
Giving yourself a break from social media could be helpful. , Grieving the loss of a relationship is a painful part of the process, but it is an essential part of any breakup.
Trying to distract yourself from the pain of the breakup may prolong it or even make it worse.Allow yourself to feel the pain of the breakup.
Cry if you feel like crying about it and tell supportive friends how you feel.
You may experience a range of emotions after a breakup, such as sadness, resentment, anger, and fear.
Express how you are feeling by talking with people who care about you and who you can trust.
Feeling your emotions may be uncomfortable, but it will help you to move on.
You can also write about how you are feeling.Try keeping a daily journal where you write about how you are feeling and then list five things that you are grateful for that day.
Practicing gratitude can help to relive stress and help you to feel happier.Therefore, this can be an effective way to start to feel better after a breakup.
Don’t relive the painful details of the breakup over and over.
Just take some time each day for as long as you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings, such as 20 to 30 minutes per day.
Try setting a timer to limit your grieving time.After your grieving time is up, do something to help yourself feel better, such as meeting a friend for coffee, going for a walk, or engaging in a favorite hobby. , When a relationship ends, it’s easy to end up focusing on how great it was and ignoring the not-so-great aspects of it.
Avoid idealizing the relationship in this way.
Instead, try to be realistic as you reflect on the relationship and acknowledge the bad along with the good.
This may make it easier to move on.
To get out of an idealizing mode, it might be helpful to reflect on some of the flaws in your relationship to remind yourself of why you broke up.For example, if you often disagreed on movies and this caused problems, then your different tastes may have been one of the reasons for the breakup.
Or, maybe you had a hard time trusting him when he was out with his friends, so you texted him often to deal with your worry.
Don’t dwell on the negative aspects of your relationship.
Just try to be thankful that you won’t have to deal with these negative aspects of the relationship anymore. -
Step 3: Unfollow him on social media.
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Step 4: Find healthy ways to grieve.
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Step 5: Avoid idealizing the relationship.
Detailed Guide
If he’s always on your mind, it might be difficult to refrain from picking up the phone to call him.
However, the longer you go without talking to him, the easier it will become with each passing day.
Try changing his name in your contacts list to something to remind you not to call, like “DO NOT CALL!” Better yet, you may consider deleting his number completely.
Don’t text him or send him emails, either.
Consider erasing your text messages and emails from him so you won’t be tempted to re-read them and get nostalgic or upset.
If you have strong urge to call him, then you might try calling up a friend instead and talk to her about your desire to call your ex.
This will give you a chance to examine why you want to call and your friend can provide an objective perspective on why you probably should not call him.
If you dated this guy for a while, it’s likely you have some things lying around that remind you of him when you see them.
Maybe his toothbrush is still in your bathroom, or his sweatshirt is still hanging in your closet.
Get rid of these little reminders.
Donate old clothes that belonged to him, and toss out old movie ticket stubs.
If you get rid of the things that make you think of him when you look at them, you might be able to keep yourself from thinking of him at all.
If you have anything of his that is especially valuable or that he might want back, put it in a box and mail it back to him, or leave it on his front step.
Avoid making contact with him in the process of giving the things back to him.
Even if you never formally dated, get rid of or put away the things you have that remind you of him.
For example, if you have photos of him around, consider getting rid of them to help get over him. , Keep his posts off of your social media feeds.
If you aren’t ready to completely erase him from your friends lists, you can choose to unfollow his posts until you feel like you’re strong enough to see them again.
Seeing his posts will only make you think of him more, and it will be more difficult to let him go.Consider taking a break from social media in general.
That way, you won’t be constantly bombarded with status updates and photos about other couples that might make you think about the guy you’re trying to get over.
Giving yourself a break from social media could be helpful. , Grieving the loss of a relationship is a painful part of the process, but it is an essential part of any breakup.
Trying to distract yourself from the pain of the breakup may prolong it or even make it worse.Allow yourself to feel the pain of the breakup.
Cry if you feel like crying about it and tell supportive friends how you feel.
You may experience a range of emotions after a breakup, such as sadness, resentment, anger, and fear.
Express how you are feeling by talking with people who care about you and who you can trust.
Feeling your emotions may be uncomfortable, but it will help you to move on.
You can also write about how you are feeling.Try keeping a daily journal where you write about how you are feeling and then list five things that you are grateful for that day.
Practicing gratitude can help to relive stress and help you to feel happier.Therefore, this can be an effective way to start to feel better after a breakup.
Don’t relive the painful details of the breakup over and over.
Just take some time each day for as long as you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings, such as 20 to 30 minutes per day.
Try setting a timer to limit your grieving time.After your grieving time is up, do something to help yourself feel better, such as meeting a friend for coffee, going for a walk, or engaging in a favorite hobby. , When a relationship ends, it’s easy to end up focusing on how great it was and ignoring the not-so-great aspects of it.
Avoid idealizing the relationship in this way.
Instead, try to be realistic as you reflect on the relationship and acknowledge the bad along with the good.
This may make it easier to move on.
To get out of an idealizing mode, it might be helpful to reflect on some of the flaws in your relationship to remind yourself of why you broke up.For example, if you often disagreed on movies and this caused problems, then your different tastes may have been one of the reasons for the breakup.
Or, maybe you had a hard time trusting him when he was out with his friends, so you texted him often to deal with your worry.
Don’t dwell on the negative aspects of your relationship.
Just try to be thankful that you won’t have to deal with these negative aspects of the relationship anymore.
About the Author
Jennifer Burns
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow pet care tutorials.
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