How to Survive the Holidays As a Newly Engaged Couple
Consult your fiancé before committing to plans., Be honest with insistent family members., Consider alternating holidays or years., Be flexible., Consider hosting one of the holidays.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consult your fiancé before committing to plans.
Scheduling your lives as a couple is probably something you’ve already learned to do, but holiday family obligations can potentially lead to scheduling conflicts.
Further, each of your families will be excited to see you and your fiancé to celebrate the big news.
The good news is that with some planning, you will likely be able to see everyone!For example, talk to your partner and ensure that caroling with your Aunt Edna on Christmas Eve sounds good to them too.
Respond to invitations with something like, “That sounds great, but I have to talk to Samantha to make sure we’re on the same page before committing to any holiday plans.” -
Step 2: Be honest with insistent family members.
Most of your family members should understand that you have additional social obligations this year.
However, if Uncle Javier is upset that you don’t immediately agree to go ice fishing with him New Year’s Day, explain why you need to talk it over with your fiancé.Say something like, “I’m a part of two families now, and I want to make sure I get to see as many people as possible, on our side of the family as well as Jessie’s.
I'll talk to Jessie and let you know when we have a plan." If your parents get cantankerous, remember that seeing you less is a loss for them, and try to be understanding without letting your parents control you.
You could try asking them how they split the holidays between each other’s families when they first got married.
This can backfire into an argument, so stay even-tempered. , Sometimes the simplest way to decide which family to spend the holidays with is by simply switching back and forth.
The classic example is going to see your family for Thanksgiving and your intended spouse’s family for Christmas (or vice versa).
This can work especially well if you switch which holiday is spent with which family each year.
This is also especially advantageous if you will need to travel to see one or both families. , For instance, you attend your partner’s family for Thanksgiving and plan to spend Christmas with your family.
However, your fiancé’s sister has a baby on Christmas Eve.
It’s only fair that your partner may want to be with them.In this case, you may want to visit your own family while your fiancé visits their own again.
You could also go and see their family again too, and plan to spend the holidays next year with your partner and your family.
Otherwise stated, factor in extenuating circumstances.
Other unforeseen issues may also arise, such as illness.
It’s important to understand that not all of your holiday planning will go according to plan. , Since you and your fiancé will be in an especially celebratory mood
- and that each of your families will be excited to congratulate you both
- it may be the perfect year to host everyone in your home or city.Be aware that hosting requires a lot of work
- and can lead to a good bit of stress.
That said, it can also be incredibly rewarding to bring both of your families together, especially in anticipation of your forthcoming marriage.
Before committing to hosting, sit down with your partner and talk about all of the logistics.
You probably won’t have room for everyone at your place, so who gets the guest bedroom? Have visitors help with the logistics by bringing dishes or chairs.
Create an email list or shared document in Google drive to handle any organizational info. -
Step 3: Consider alternating holidays or years.
-
Step 4: Be flexible.
-
Step 5: Consider hosting one of the holidays.
Detailed Guide
Scheduling your lives as a couple is probably something you’ve already learned to do, but holiday family obligations can potentially lead to scheduling conflicts.
Further, each of your families will be excited to see you and your fiancé to celebrate the big news.
The good news is that with some planning, you will likely be able to see everyone!For example, talk to your partner and ensure that caroling with your Aunt Edna on Christmas Eve sounds good to them too.
Respond to invitations with something like, “That sounds great, but I have to talk to Samantha to make sure we’re on the same page before committing to any holiday plans.”
Most of your family members should understand that you have additional social obligations this year.
However, if Uncle Javier is upset that you don’t immediately agree to go ice fishing with him New Year’s Day, explain why you need to talk it over with your fiancé.Say something like, “I’m a part of two families now, and I want to make sure I get to see as many people as possible, on our side of the family as well as Jessie’s.
I'll talk to Jessie and let you know when we have a plan." If your parents get cantankerous, remember that seeing you less is a loss for them, and try to be understanding without letting your parents control you.
You could try asking them how they split the holidays between each other’s families when they first got married.
This can backfire into an argument, so stay even-tempered. , Sometimes the simplest way to decide which family to spend the holidays with is by simply switching back and forth.
The classic example is going to see your family for Thanksgiving and your intended spouse’s family for Christmas (or vice versa).
This can work especially well if you switch which holiday is spent with which family each year.
This is also especially advantageous if you will need to travel to see one or both families. , For instance, you attend your partner’s family for Thanksgiving and plan to spend Christmas with your family.
However, your fiancé’s sister has a baby on Christmas Eve.
It’s only fair that your partner may want to be with them.In this case, you may want to visit your own family while your fiancé visits their own again.
You could also go and see their family again too, and plan to spend the holidays next year with your partner and your family.
Otherwise stated, factor in extenuating circumstances.
Other unforeseen issues may also arise, such as illness.
It’s important to understand that not all of your holiday planning will go according to plan. , Since you and your fiancé will be in an especially celebratory mood
- and that each of your families will be excited to congratulate you both
- it may be the perfect year to host everyone in your home or city.Be aware that hosting requires a lot of work
- and can lead to a good bit of stress.
That said, it can also be incredibly rewarding to bring both of your families together, especially in anticipation of your forthcoming marriage.
Before committing to hosting, sit down with your partner and talk about all of the logistics.
You probably won’t have room for everyone at your place, so who gets the guest bedroom? Have visitors help with the logistics by bringing dishes or chairs.
Create an email list or shared document in Google drive to handle any organizational info.
About the Author
Judith Williams
Brings years of experience writing about lifestyle and related subjects.
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