How to Tactfully Ask Someone You Love to Stop Behaving Immaturely
Keep your cool., Request a conversation with him/her in private during a social situation., Nip the behavior in the bud as soon as possible., Surround yourself with other mature couples.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Keep your cool.
You may want to lunge across the table and grab him/her by the shirt collar however in order to maintain some shred of dignity remain calm and let your maturity shine.
Make eye contact with your loved one and shake your head to say, “no.” The best way to intervene without outwardly calling your loved one out on the behavior is to gain eye contact and covertly shake your head and/or mouth the word “no.” Try to get his/her attention non verbally by locking eyes and looking sternly at your loved one.
This may do the trick if he/she know the behavior is immature and bothers you.
Divert the conversation away from him/her.
The minute you detect the behavior guide the conversation away from his/her behavior and onto a new topic--preferably one that does not provide an opportunity for your loved on to act like a child.
Ask others to bring up stories or lead the conversation.
If your loved one is telling insane stories, making goofy faces or noises, turn to another person in the group and ask him/her about work, family or a topic that does not involve what your sweetheart may be doing.
Excuse yourself if you can’t take the heat.
If you in the middle of a social situation and your loved one isn’t not getting the hint, walk away if you feel as though you are going to explode with anger.
Letting loose in a group setting will only make you look like the crazy person, especially if others find your loved one to be funny or amusing. -
Step 2: Request a conversation with him/her in private during a social situation.
The best way to diffuse immature behavior quickly is to pull your loved on aside to get him/her to refocus.
Quietly and calmly identify the inappropriate behavior and explain why it was a bad idea.
Whether it was his/her barrage of sex jokes with your boss or making goofy faces at dinner, calmly ask him/her to stop the behavior because it is not only embarrassing you, but is calling negative attention toward him/her.
Don’t be condescending in your tone.
Never treat your partner like a child (even though he/she may be acting like one) when requesting a behavior revision.
Instead just say that the behavior may be detrimental to your (and his/her) reputation and bring negativity to the encounter.
Suggest an alternate way to act.
Perhaps the immature behavior resulted from low self confidence and not being sure how to act at the moment.
Instead of telling inappropriate jokes consider asking him/her to instead discuss a safe topic such as the reason for the social gathering or a new band or movie he/she liked. , If you cannot pull your loved one aside during a social situation, address it in private at the next opportunity.
Find time to talk immediately following the social encounter either later that evening or the next day.
Wait until you are alone and can talk in a calm, quiet setting.
Avoid a crowded bar or restaurant as the topic you are attempting to address is delicate and can be misconstrued or prompt your loved one to become defensive.
Explain the position his/her behavior put you in during the situation.
He/she needs to understand that even though he/she may not care how the behavior is perceived, the actions impact how others view you.
Ask what he/she hoped to achieve with the behavior.
However, try to ask this question in a non-confrontational manner in order to avoid having him/her get defensive.
Perhaps when the behavior is actually examined your loved one will see that even though he/she hoped to accomplish one thing, the result was something entirely different. , If you hang out with a bunch of goofballs, chances are someone is going to continue the behavior into other situations.
Although you may be looking for a more mature exchange remember that it doesn’t have to be super serious and grim--you can still have fun and some laughs without acting like a child.
Meet people with similar interests.
One of the best ways to get your loved one to act more like him or herself is to hang out with people who share the same interests.
For example, if you are animal lovers, consider meeting people at a dog park or sign up to volunteer at the local animal shelter.
Embark upon couple activities.
Take a cooking class together or join a co-ed volleyball league.
Find fun activities that allow you to unwind and be together but provide you with the opportunity to meet others at the same time.
Introduce him/her to some of your more mature (but fun) friends.
If you have fun friends who don’t feel the need to launch into a routine filled with the sophomoric humor, make some introductions.
Perhaps just being around more mature, but fun people may be helpful in showing your loved one a better way to approach a social situation. -
Step 3: Nip the behavior in the bud as soon as possible.
-
Step 4: Surround yourself with other mature couples.
Detailed Guide
You may want to lunge across the table and grab him/her by the shirt collar however in order to maintain some shred of dignity remain calm and let your maturity shine.
Make eye contact with your loved one and shake your head to say, “no.” The best way to intervene without outwardly calling your loved one out on the behavior is to gain eye contact and covertly shake your head and/or mouth the word “no.” Try to get his/her attention non verbally by locking eyes and looking sternly at your loved one.
This may do the trick if he/she know the behavior is immature and bothers you.
Divert the conversation away from him/her.
The minute you detect the behavior guide the conversation away from his/her behavior and onto a new topic--preferably one that does not provide an opportunity for your loved on to act like a child.
Ask others to bring up stories or lead the conversation.
If your loved one is telling insane stories, making goofy faces or noises, turn to another person in the group and ask him/her about work, family or a topic that does not involve what your sweetheart may be doing.
Excuse yourself if you can’t take the heat.
If you in the middle of a social situation and your loved one isn’t not getting the hint, walk away if you feel as though you are going to explode with anger.
Letting loose in a group setting will only make you look like the crazy person, especially if others find your loved one to be funny or amusing.
The best way to diffuse immature behavior quickly is to pull your loved on aside to get him/her to refocus.
Quietly and calmly identify the inappropriate behavior and explain why it was a bad idea.
Whether it was his/her barrage of sex jokes with your boss or making goofy faces at dinner, calmly ask him/her to stop the behavior because it is not only embarrassing you, but is calling negative attention toward him/her.
Don’t be condescending in your tone.
Never treat your partner like a child (even though he/she may be acting like one) when requesting a behavior revision.
Instead just say that the behavior may be detrimental to your (and his/her) reputation and bring negativity to the encounter.
Suggest an alternate way to act.
Perhaps the immature behavior resulted from low self confidence and not being sure how to act at the moment.
Instead of telling inappropriate jokes consider asking him/her to instead discuss a safe topic such as the reason for the social gathering or a new band or movie he/she liked. , If you cannot pull your loved one aside during a social situation, address it in private at the next opportunity.
Find time to talk immediately following the social encounter either later that evening or the next day.
Wait until you are alone and can talk in a calm, quiet setting.
Avoid a crowded bar or restaurant as the topic you are attempting to address is delicate and can be misconstrued or prompt your loved one to become defensive.
Explain the position his/her behavior put you in during the situation.
He/she needs to understand that even though he/she may not care how the behavior is perceived, the actions impact how others view you.
Ask what he/she hoped to achieve with the behavior.
However, try to ask this question in a non-confrontational manner in order to avoid having him/her get defensive.
Perhaps when the behavior is actually examined your loved one will see that even though he/she hoped to accomplish one thing, the result was something entirely different. , If you hang out with a bunch of goofballs, chances are someone is going to continue the behavior into other situations.
Although you may be looking for a more mature exchange remember that it doesn’t have to be super serious and grim--you can still have fun and some laughs without acting like a child.
Meet people with similar interests.
One of the best ways to get your loved one to act more like him or herself is to hang out with people who share the same interests.
For example, if you are animal lovers, consider meeting people at a dog park or sign up to volunteer at the local animal shelter.
Embark upon couple activities.
Take a cooking class together or join a co-ed volleyball league.
Find fun activities that allow you to unwind and be together but provide you with the opportunity to meet others at the same time.
Introduce him/her to some of your more mature (but fun) friends.
If you have fun friends who don’t feel the need to launch into a routine filled with the sophomoric humor, make some introductions.
Perhaps just being around more mature, but fun people may be helpful in showing your loved one a better way to approach a social situation.
About the Author
Doris Turner
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow lifestyle tutorials.
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