How to Talk About Your Dating History

Choose the right time., Set aside the time to talk., Open up with a question., Share information relevant to your relationship now., Answer questions., Emphasize what you like about your current partner., Address any potential embarrassments.

7 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Choose the right time.

    Wait until things become a bit serious with someone before discussing your dating history.

    You do not need to talk about your exes on the first date, and doing so will likely not land you a second.

    But, if a month or so has passed and you want to progress with them, now could be the right time., Talk about your past in a nice, quiet location when the two of you have plenty of time to chat.

    You might choose to go on a walk or to sit out on the balcony with a glass of lemonade.

    Avoid having this discussion during times when they are stressed at work or school. , Ask something like “What is the most important lesson that you learned from a past relationship?” Once they share their story, you can begin to share stories of your own.You might say something like “I learned to never take my partner for granted.

    When I dated my ex, she was always asking me to spend time with her and I rarely did, so she broke up with me.

    I don’t want her back, but I did learn that you can’t maintain so much distance from people.” , Talk about the lessons that you learned from past relationships that can help with how you date now.

    Avoid going off on long tangents about exes; instead relate things back to your current partner.You can say “When I dated Trevor, I learned to be more open minded about politics.

    That’s why it was important for me to watch the debates with you and learn about your views.” , You may have told your new partner something pretty heavy about a past relationship.

    This may leave them with several questions or concerns.

    Be honest with them, but also let them know if you feel uncomfortable.For instance, perhaps you shared that you were abused by an ex.

    They might begin to ask a lot of questions which bring up painful memories for you.

    Let them know that you can talk more about it later. , In order to make your new love more comfortable, use this time to compliment them.

    You do not need to bash your exes, but you can talk about how your past has brought you to a more bright and hopeful present.You might say “After dating Chris, I knew I could never date another smoker.

    Dating you, I appreciate how concerned you are about your health.

    I really respect that.” , If you have a limited dating history or have had only short-lived relationships, you might feel uncomfortable discussing your past.

    However, take what you have learned from these experiences and use them to improve your current relationship.

    For instance, if you haven’t dated much, you might have used that time to focus on work or school, but have learned that life without love isn’t much fun.

    From short relationships, you might have learned exactly what you don’t need from a partner, or you may have corrected some of your own faults because of them.
  2. Step 2: Set aside the time to talk.

  3. Step 3: Open up with a question.

  4. Step 4: Share information relevant to your relationship now.

  5. Step 5: Answer questions.

  6. Step 6: Emphasize what you like about your current partner.

  7. Step 7: Address any potential embarrassments.

Detailed Guide

Wait until things become a bit serious with someone before discussing your dating history.

You do not need to talk about your exes on the first date, and doing so will likely not land you a second.

But, if a month or so has passed and you want to progress with them, now could be the right time., Talk about your past in a nice, quiet location when the two of you have plenty of time to chat.

You might choose to go on a walk or to sit out on the balcony with a glass of lemonade.

Avoid having this discussion during times when they are stressed at work or school. , Ask something like “What is the most important lesson that you learned from a past relationship?” Once they share their story, you can begin to share stories of your own.You might say something like “I learned to never take my partner for granted.

When I dated my ex, she was always asking me to spend time with her and I rarely did, so she broke up with me.

I don’t want her back, but I did learn that you can’t maintain so much distance from people.” , Talk about the lessons that you learned from past relationships that can help with how you date now.

Avoid going off on long tangents about exes; instead relate things back to your current partner.You can say “When I dated Trevor, I learned to be more open minded about politics.

That’s why it was important for me to watch the debates with you and learn about your views.” , You may have told your new partner something pretty heavy about a past relationship.

This may leave them with several questions or concerns.

Be honest with them, but also let them know if you feel uncomfortable.For instance, perhaps you shared that you were abused by an ex.

They might begin to ask a lot of questions which bring up painful memories for you.

Let them know that you can talk more about it later. , In order to make your new love more comfortable, use this time to compliment them.

You do not need to bash your exes, but you can talk about how your past has brought you to a more bright and hopeful present.You might say “After dating Chris, I knew I could never date another smoker.

Dating you, I appreciate how concerned you are about your health.

I really respect that.” , If you have a limited dating history or have had only short-lived relationships, you might feel uncomfortable discussing your past.

However, take what you have learned from these experiences and use them to improve your current relationship.

For instance, if you haven’t dated much, you might have used that time to focus on work or school, but have learned that life without love isn’t much fun.

From short relationships, you might have learned exactly what you don’t need from a partner, or you may have corrected some of your own faults because of them.

About the Author

J

Janet Butler

Writer and educator with a focus on practical creative arts knowledge.

64 articles
View all articles

Rate This Guide

--
Loading...
5
0
4
0
3
0
2
0
1
0

How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: