How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Wants and Needs

List your needs., Figure out your priorities., Practice the talk., Choose the right time and place.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: List your needs.

    You should list your needs before you talk to your partner.

    This helps you be clear about what you want so you can communicate them to your partner.

    You may want to start with what you need for physical affection and intimacy.

    This may include sex, romance, physical touching, and emotional sharing.

    You should also think about what you need in regard to children and a family, finances, and outside friendship, along with cooking, cleaning, and running the household.You should realize that wants and needs are two different things.

    Needs are things that should be met because they are essential for your happiness, safety, and well-being.

    Wants are things you prefer to have happen because it causes you pleasure.For example, you may need your partner to work and make a certain salary to complement your salary so all the bills are paid.

    You may need your partner to let you know that they care and love you.
  2. Step 2: Figure out your priorities.

    Your partner won’t know how to meet your wants and needs if you don’t know what they are.

    You have to figure out your priorities before you can communicate it to your partner.

    This may be your priorities from every part of your life.

    Once you identify your priorities, you can figure out what you need in your relationship, which can help to better your relationship.Figure out what priorities are important to you because this will help you determine your needs.

    For example, your top priorities may be intimacy, family, and financial stability.

    Order your needs from most to least important to help you decide which ones to communicate first and which ones can wait.

    This will help to ensure that you are telling your partner what needs are most important to you.

    It may also help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by all of the things you need. , You should practice talking to your partner before you talk to them in person.

    Start by writing notes or listing important points you want to make.

    Speak your wants and needs out loud to yourself to get comfortable with them.

    You may even practice in a mirror.

    If you need help, you can ask a trusted friend to listen to you and help you practice. , You should choose an appropriate time to address your needs and wants.

    Choose a time when both you and your partner have time to discuss the issues.

    You should make sure neither of you have anything pressing to do for hours when you choose to talk.

    You should talk in a private place where you won’t be disturbed.

    Don’t go to a restaurant or coffee shop.

    If you have kids, see if someone can keep the children for a few hours so you can talk privately.
  3. Step 3: Practice the talk.

  4. Step 4: Choose the right time and place.

Detailed Guide

You should list your needs before you talk to your partner.

This helps you be clear about what you want so you can communicate them to your partner.

You may want to start with what you need for physical affection and intimacy.

This may include sex, romance, physical touching, and emotional sharing.

You should also think about what you need in regard to children and a family, finances, and outside friendship, along with cooking, cleaning, and running the household.You should realize that wants and needs are two different things.

Needs are things that should be met because they are essential for your happiness, safety, and well-being.

Wants are things you prefer to have happen because it causes you pleasure.For example, you may need your partner to work and make a certain salary to complement your salary so all the bills are paid.

You may need your partner to let you know that they care and love you.

Your partner won’t know how to meet your wants and needs if you don’t know what they are.

You have to figure out your priorities before you can communicate it to your partner.

This may be your priorities from every part of your life.

Once you identify your priorities, you can figure out what you need in your relationship, which can help to better your relationship.Figure out what priorities are important to you because this will help you determine your needs.

For example, your top priorities may be intimacy, family, and financial stability.

Order your needs from most to least important to help you decide which ones to communicate first and which ones can wait.

This will help to ensure that you are telling your partner what needs are most important to you.

It may also help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by all of the things you need. , You should practice talking to your partner before you talk to them in person.

Start by writing notes or listing important points you want to make.

Speak your wants and needs out loud to yourself to get comfortable with them.

You may even practice in a mirror.

If you need help, you can ask a trusted friend to listen to you and help you practice. , You should choose an appropriate time to address your needs and wants.

Choose a time when both you and your partner have time to discuss the issues.

You should make sure neither of you have anything pressing to do for hours when you choose to talk.

You should talk in a private place where you won’t be disturbed.

Don’t go to a restaurant or coffee shop.

If you have kids, see if someone can keep the children for a few hours so you can talk privately.

About the Author

L

Lori Morgan

Enthusiastic about teaching hobbies techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.

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