How to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
Figure out who to tell first., Pick a good time., Practice or write it out., Identify what you're feeling., Get it over with., Talk about why you feel you are ready to date., Be willing to negotiate., Discuss the person., Don't try to hide it.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Figure out who to tell first.
You might have a parent you feel closer to or maybe one of your parents tends to be more lenient than the other.
Oftentimes, breaking the news to a parent who is easier to talk to can clear the way for talking to the other parent.For instance, if you grew up as a "daddy's girl," meaning you can now wrap him around your little finger, you might start with your dad.
On the other hand, if your dad tends to be overprotective, you might start with your mother instead.
This approach can be an especially helpful idea if you are a teenager with your first boyfriend.
On the other hand, if you think both of your parents will take it equally well (or badly), just rip off the bandaid and tell them both at the same time. -
Step 2: Pick a good time.
You don't want to tell your parents when they are busy with something else or when they aren't in a good mood.
If you want, you can ask them when a good time to talk would be.
Try to choose a time when the house is calm, and your parents are not stressed or distracted by something else.However, don't use picking a good time as a way to continually put off telling them.
You will need to tell them eventually, so you might as well get it over with. , If you're afraid you'll get flustered, it's perfectly fine to write out what you think you'll say.
Then practice saying it in front of a mirror.
That way, when the time comes, you'll be able to get it out without stopping., You are hesitating about telling your parents for a reason.
Do you think that your parents will be mad because you're dating? Maybe you think they won't approve of the person you're dating.
On the other hand, maybe you just prefer to keep your personal life private.
Knowing what you're feeling is important because you can use that in the discussion.For instance, if you think that your parents think that you aren't ready to date, you could say, "Mom and Dad, I need to talk to you about something.
I've been a little hesitant to tell you that I have a boyfriend because I think you think that I'm not old enough."
Once you sit down, you just need to get the conversation over with.
Don't beat around the bush.
However, you can soften the blow with qualifiers.
For instance, you could say, "I really love you two, and I don't want to make you mad.
Also, I really want to be honest with you about my life.
I want to tell you about the boy that I've started dating."
If you are trying to make a case for dating, lay out the reasons why you think you should be able to.
For instance, maybe you think that you should be able to date because you are in high school, and most people your age are allowed to date.
Be reasonable, and don't get angry if your parents don't agree.Your parents probably won't respond well to "But everyone else is doing it!" However, you can pull statistics off the internet about the average age that people start dating, and you can bring up points about how you've shown your maturity in the last year. , If you're parents don't want you to date and you're asking them to let you, you need to be willing to compromise.
Maybe you can suggest that you only see your boyfriend at school or that you only go on group dates with other people.
Your parents just want to protect you, so you have to be willing to give up some of your freedom., Tell your parents about your boyfriend.
Talk to them about his family and what you like about him.
Highlight his good qualities so they get a sense of who he is.
It's also helpful to have a photo for them to see.Your parents will probably have many, many questions.
It is advisable to answer every question as honestly and fully as possible to reassure them about your new relationship.
If you try to hide or lie about something, your parents may become suspicious and anxious.
If your boyfriend has a good relationship with his family, make sure your parents know.
This trait is a major plus for many parents because it lets them know that this new guy in your life knows how to value others and can appreciate the tight ties of family. , One of the most important things to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to be the one to tell them about your relationship.
If they find out about your relationship from someone else, they may assume that you were trying to hide it because you felt you were doing something wrong.You should tell your parents about your boyfriend even if you do not plan to make any formal introductions any time soon.
As a general rule, the sooner you own up to the relationship, the better.
Avoiding the conversation will only make it harder to have eventually and will increase the odds that your parents may find out from another source.
Once you get older and have already moved out of the house, you do not necessarily need to bring up every date or every boyfriend you have.
Wait until a guy comes along that you can exclusively and seriously commit to before getting everyone worked up. -
Step 3: Practice or write it out.
-
Step 4: Identify what you're feeling.
-
Step 5: Get it over with.
-
Step 6: Talk about why you feel you are ready to date.
-
Step 7: Be willing to negotiate.
-
Step 8: Discuss the person.
-
Step 9: Don't try to hide it.
Detailed Guide
You might have a parent you feel closer to or maybe one of your parents tends to be more lenient than the other.
Oftentimes, breaking the news to a parent who is easier to talk to can clear the way for talking to the other parent.For instance, if you grew up as a "daddy's girl," meaning you can now wrap him around your little finger, you might start with your dad.
On the other hand, if your dad tends to be overprotective, you might start with your mother instead.
This approach can be an especially helpful idea if you are a teenager with your first boyfriend.
On the other hand, if you think both of your parents will take it equally well (or badly), just rip off the bandaid and tell them both at the same time.
You don't want to tell your parents when they are busy with something else or when they aren't in a good mood.
If you want, you can ask them when a good time to talk would be.
Try to choose a time when the house is calm, and your parents are not stressed or distracted by something else.However, don't use picking a good time as a way to continually put off telling them.
You will need to tell them eventually, so you might as well get it over with. , If you're afraid you'll get flustered, it's perfectly fine to write out what you think you'll say.
Then practice saying it in front of a mirror.
That way, when the time comes, you'll be able to get it out without stopping., You are hesitating about telling your parents for a reason.
Do you think that your parents will be mad because you're dating? Maybe you think they won't approve of the person you're dating.
On the other hand, maybe you just prefer to keep your personal life private.
Knowing what you're feeling is important because you can use that in the discussion.For instance, if you think that your parents think that you aren't ready to date, you could say, "Mom and Dad, I need to talk to you about something.
I've been a little hesitant to tell you that I have a boyfriend because I think you think that I'm not old enough."
Once you sit down, you just need to get the conversation over with.
Don't beat around the bush.
However, you can soften the blow with qualifiers.
For instance, you could say, "I really love you two, and I don't want to make you mad.
Also, I really want to be honest with you about my life.
I want to tell you about the boy that I've started dating."
If you are trying to make a case for dating, lay out the reasons why you think you should be able to.
For instance, maybe you think that you should be able to date because you are in high school, and most people your age are allowed to date.
Be reasonable, and don't get angry if your parents don't agree.Your parents probably won't respond well to "But everyone else is doing it!" However, you can pull statistics off the internet about the average age that people start dating, and you can bring up points about how you've shown your maturity in the last year. , If you're parents don't want you to date and you're asking them to let you, you need to be willing to compromise.
Maybe you can suggest that you only see your boyfriend at school or that you only go on group dates with other people.
Your parents just want to protect you, so you have to be willing to give up some of your freedom., Tell your parents about your boyfriend.
Talk to them about his family and what you like about him.
Highlight his good qualities so they get a sense of who he is.
It's also helpful to have a photo for them to see.Your parents will probably have many, many questions.
It is advisable to answer every question as honestly and fully as possible to reassure them about your new relationship.
If you try to hide or lie about something, your parents may become suspicious and anxious.
If your boyfriend has a good relationship with his family, make sure your parents know.
This trait is a major plus for many parents because it lets them know that this new guy in your life knows how to value others and can appreciate the tight ties of family. , One of the most important things to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to be the one to tell them about your relationship.
If they find out about your relationship from someone else, they may assume that you were trying to hide it because you felt you were doing something wrong.You should tell your parents about your boyfriend even if you do not plan to make any formal introductions any time soon.
As a general rule, the sooner you own up to the relationship, the better.
Avoiding the conversation will only make it harder to have eventually and will increase the odds that your parents may find out from another source.
Once you get older and have already moved out of the house, you do not necessarily need to bring up every date or every boyfriend you have.
Wait until a guy comes along that you can exclusively and seriously commit to before getting everyone worked up.
About the Author
Beverly Jones
Creates helpful guides on pet care to inspire and educate readers.
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