How to Understand Why Your Boyfriend Acts Differently when He Is With His Mates

Voice your concerns., Choose your words carefully., Watch your body language., Come to an understanding.

4 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Voice your concerns.

    If you’re upset when he and his mates ignore you or goof off, let him know.

    Wait until you’re alone to avoid embarrassing him.

    Say exactly what’s on your mind in a calm, rational manner.

    Keep the conversation in the first person as much as possible.

    Use sentences that start with “I feel…,” “I think…,” or “I wanted…” This will make him fell less under the gun.For example, you could say, “I don’t mean to sound whiney, but it makes me feel left out when you and your mates ignore me.

    I wanted to talk to you about it now before it comes a regular thing.”
  2. Step 2: Choose your words carefully.

    Don’t bad-mouth his mates or say anything he could interpret as an insult.

    He might not even realize he’s offended you.

    If you leap right into verbal abuse, you could end up making an awkward situation much worse., Verbal communication is only half of the equation.

    During your conversation, maintain eye contact and lean forward to show your undivided attention.

    If you normally gesture when you talk, don’t change your habit.

    When he talks, nod to signal your understanding., Compromise is key in a healthy relationship.

    Each of you needs to give something to get something.

    Agree that you won’t nag about his behavior if he stands up for you or includes you in conversations with his mates.
  3. Step 3: Watch your body language.

  4. Step 4: Come to an understanding.

Detailed Guide

If you’re upset when he and his mates ignore you or goof off, let him know.

Wait until you’re alone to avoid embarrassing him.

Say exactly what’s on your mind in a calm, rational manner.

Keep the conversation in the first person as much as possible.

Use sentences that start with “I feel…,” “I think…,” or “I wanted…” This will make him fell less under the gun.For example, you could say, “I don’t mean to sound whiney, but it makes me feel left out when you and your mates ignore me.

I wanted to talk to you about it now before it comes a regular thing.”

Don’t bad-mouth his mates or say anything he could interpret as an insult.

He might not even realize he’s offended you.

If you leap right into verbal abuse, you could end up making an awkward situation much worse., Verbal communication is only half of the equation.

During your conversation, maintain eye contact and lean forward to show your undivided attention.

If you normally gesture when you talk, don’t change your habit.

When he talks, nod to signal your understanding., Compromise is key in a healthy relationship.

Each of you needs to give something to get something.

Agree that you won’t nag about his behavior if he stands up for you or includes you in conversations with his mates.

About the Author

L

Lisa Hughes

Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.

85 articles
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