How to Write Same Sex Marriage Vows
Decide whether you want to write together or apart., Determine how formal you want your vows., Think about what you want to include., State what the person means to you., Say other things you like about the person., Make it personal., Remember you...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Decide whether you want to write together or apart.
Some couples write their vows together, with the intention of keeping them similar.
Other couples write vows separately, with each person deciding what they want to say to the other person.
Sometimes, the second kind of vows are kept secret until the wedding, though sometimes, you may also want to write different vows together.
That way, they are unique, but you can still have vows that go together., Even if you're writing separately, you may decide together that you want to keep your vows more formal or informal.
What that means will vary by couple, but making a joint decision about it is a good way to keep from catching someone off-guard. , That is, you may want to make personal promises to each other, but you may also want to include some more classic lines.
Take some time to look at opposite-sex vows, particularly ones related to your faith if you're religious.
Decide what you'd like to use from those traditions.
It's fine to mix and match, as long as you agree (and the officiant is okay with it).You should also consider including something about children, if you or your partner already has children.
You also might want to include a promise about parenting and committing to parent your partner's child or children. , Begin with a declaration about what the person means to you.
It's a great way to open because it establishes the other person's worth to you right from the outset, which is partially what you want to establish in your wedding vows.It could be something like "Karen, you are the light of my life," or "Joe, you mean everything to me." You could also try something like, "Rachel, I'm so thankful to have met you."
Spend some time expanding on what the person means to you.
Make some heartfelt statements about the person's value.
Don't forget to tell the person how much you love and cherish them.Think about why you wanted to marry the person in the first place.
What makes you smile every time she does it? Does your heart burst when he walks into the room? What are your favorite little quirks? , Platitudes are great, especially if they come from your heart, but statements that are unique to the person will mean so much more.
In other words, get as specific as possible when writing how much you love the person."I love you to the end of the earth," is sweet, but "I love the way you smile when you first wake up, the sun creeping across your sleepy face" is much more personal. , The heart of the vow is what you promise to each other.
You are making a pact to be together, and your vows should reflect that pact.
In other words, before writing, think about what you bring to the relationship, and how you will uphold the other person.As a same-sex couple, it's still a perilous privilege to legally marry your spouse, and your vows could reflect that, too, such as "I promise to defend you when other people try to bring us down."
When making promises, you don't want to just repeat other people's words without thinking about them first.
You want to make sure what you're saying is what you will do.
For instance, maybe you want to talk about creating a home together or a family.
Maybe you want to talk about growing old together.
Maybe you want to make promises about the life you want to create together.For example, you could say, "I promise to join my life with yours in a world that sometimes tells us we shouldn't have a life together, so that we can create a happy, bright home together." You could also say, "I promise to always help you find the beauty in life and to always take you up on your offer to watch a sunset."
Part of the promises you make usually include a section about how you accept the other person, and how you plan to love them.
You can define these promises by length of time (life) or the specific times you will love them through (i.e. sickness and health).For example, you could say something like, "I accept you just as you are, with all your best and worst qualities, and I promise that I will love you through all the good times and the bad times." Alternatively, you could say something like, "I cherish who you are as a person, and I promise to love that person all our lives." -
Step 2: Determine how formal you want your vows.
-
Step 3: Think about what you want to include.
-
Step 4: State what the person means to you.
-
Step 5: Say other things you like about the person.
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Step 6: Make it personal.
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Step 7: Remember you are making a pact.
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Step 8: Think about what you honestly pledge to do.
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Step 9: Make promises about acceptance and love.
Detailed Guide
Some couples write their vows together, with the intention of keeping them similar.
Other couples write vows separately, with each person deciding what they want to say to the other person.
Sometimes, the second kind of vows are kept secret until the wedding, though sometimes, you may also want to write different vows together.
That way, they are unique, but you can still have vows that go together., Even if you're writing separately, you may decide together that you want to keep your vows more formal or informal.
What that means will vary by couple, but making a joint decision about it is a good way to keep from catching someone off-guard. , That is, you may want to make personal promises to each other, but you may also want to include some more classic lines.
Take some time to look at opposite-sex vows, particularly ones related to your faith if you're religious.
Decide what you'd like to use from those traditions.
It's fine to mix and match, as long as you agree (and the officiant is okay with it).You should also consider including something about children, if you or your partner already has children.
You also might want to include a promise about parenting and committing to parent your partner's child or children. , Begin with a declaration about what the person means to you.
It's a great way to open because it establishes the other person's worth to you right from the outset, which is partially what you want to establish in your wedding vows.It could be something like "Karen, you are the light of my life," or "Joe, you mean everything to me." You could also try something like, "Rachel, I'm so thankful to have met you."
Spend some time expanding on what the person means to you.
Make some heartfelt statements about the person's value.
Don't forget to tell the person how much you love and cherish them.Think about why you wanted to marry the person in the first place.
What makes you smile every time she does it? Does your heart burst when he walks into the room? What are your favorite little quirks? , Platitudes are great, especially if they come from your heart, but statements that are unique to the person will mean so much more.
In other words, get as specific as possible when writing how much you love the person."I love you to the end of the earth," is sweet, but "I love the way you smile when you first wake up, the sun creeping across your sleepy face" is much more personal. , The heart of the vow is what you promise to each other.
You are making a pact to be together, and your vows should reflect that pact.
In other words, before writing, think about what you bring to the relationship, and how you will uphold the other person.As a same-sex couple, it's still a perilous privilege to legally marry your spouse, and your vows could reflect that, too, such as "I promise to defend you when other people try to bring us down."
When making promises, you don't want to just repeat other people's words without thinking about them first.
You want to make sure what you're saying is what you will do.
For instance, maybe you want to talk about creating a home together or a family.
Maybe you want to talk about growing old together.
Maybe you want to make promises about the life you want to create together.For example, you could say, "I promise to join my life with yours in a world that sometimes tells us we shouldn't have a life together, so that we can create a happy, bright home together." You could also say, "I promise to always help you find the beauty in life and to always take you up on your offer to watch a sunset."
Part of the promises you make usually include a section about how you accept the other person, and how you plan to love them.
You can define these promises by length of time (life) or the specific times you will love them through (i.e. sickness and health).For example, you could say something like, "I accept you just as you are, with all your best and worst qualities, and I promise that I will love you through all the good times and the bad times." Alternatively, you could say something like, "I cherish who you are as a person, and I promise to love that person all our lives."
About the Author
Joan Fisher
Creates helpful guides on cooking to inspire and educate readers.
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