How to Enjoy the Holidays with Mentally Ill Loved Ones

Encourage participation., Know their triggers., Let them know you are there for them., Be discreet., Plan breaks in activity., Create an exit plan.

6 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Encourage participation.

    Some mental disorders can cause people to withdraw and isolate themselves.

    This is even truer during the holidays.

    You can help your loved ones with mental illness enjoy the holidays by inviting them to participate in events and activities.You could say, “I’d really enjoy your company at the school holiday play next weekend.

    I think you’ll have a good time.” Or, you might try, “Would you come to my holiday party? I’d like you to help me teach my friends how to play bridge.”
  2. Step 2: Know their triggers.

    Triggers are events, situations, people, or places that may cause a person with mental illness to experience a relapse or episode.

    If you are close to the person, ask them ahead of time about things that might be a trigger for them.

    Knowing what their triggers are may help you to make the person feel more comfortable.

    However, keep in mind that it might not be possible to completely control the situation.

    Just do the best that you can to be sensitive to their needs.

    For example, you can ask the person if there’s anything specific about the event that might trigger an emotional crisis.

    For example, you might ask a friend you’re inviting to a holiday concert, “Will the noise or the crowd be a problem for you?” You may need to ask someone else about any triggers the mentally ill person might have.

    For instance, you might ask, “Do you know of any situations that might cause him distress or trigger his anxiety?” , Checking in with the person constantly may be stressful for them.

    Instead, let them know ahead of time that you are there for them if they need anything.

    You might also help the person to identify a safe space they can retreat to if they start to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, such as at a party or event.

    If you can, ask someone close to you and the person to help you monitor how the person with mental illness is coping.

    You might say, “Could you help me check on him throughout the program?” , When you invite mentally loved ones to a holiday event, it’s a good idea to check on them periodically to make sure they’re doing okay.

    But you don’t have to overdo it.

    Do what you can to respect and maintain the person’s privacy to make sure everyone is able to enjoy the event.

    For instance, if you’re at a holiday dinner, never identify the person with a label like, “This is my aunt, Mamie.

    She has schizophrenia.” Just introduce them as you would anyone else.

    Try observing the person discreetly to see how they’re coping rather than asking them.

    For example, you might notice whether your dad seems calm and relaxed, or is looking nervous or confused. , Although you may want your mentally ill loved one to participate in every holiday activity on your calendar, remember to give them a break.

    A bit of time away from the activity can help assess how they’re doing and cope with any negative feelings they may be having.For example, you might take a quick five minute walk to the corner and back during a holiday get-together.

    Or, you might plan to go to a winter brunch and then rest for a while before catching the blockbuster holiday movie. , Even though you may not want it to happen and may try to prevent it, your mentally ill loved one may need to leave the event because they can’t cope with the situation.

    It will be much easier for you to quickly and quietly leave if you have an exit plan already created.

    Talk to your loved one in advance about how you will know if they need or want to leave.

    For example, you might say, “When you say ‘I’m tired,’ I’ll know that we need to leave.” If you need to, discreetly let the host or hostess know that you may need to leave abruptly.

    You might say, “I think we’ll be fine, but this might be a bit much for my guest and we may have to leave early.”
  3. Step 3: Let them know you are there for them.

  4. Step 4: Be discreet.

  5. Step 5: Plan breaks in activity.

  6. Step 6: Create an exit plan.

Detailed Guide

Some mental disorders can cause people to withdraw and isolate themselves.

This is even truer during the holidays.

You can help your loved ones with mental illness enjoy the holidays by inviting them to participate in events and activities.You could say, “I’d really enjoy your company at the school holiday play next weekend.

I think you’ll have a good time.” Or, you might try, “Would you come to my holiday party? I’d like you to help me teach my friends how to play bridge.”

Triggers are events, situations, people, or places that may cause a person with mental illness to experience a relapse or episode.

If you are close to the person, ask them ahead of time about things that might be a trigger for them.

Knowing what their triggers are may help you to make the person feel more comfortable.

However, keep in mind that it might not be possible to completely control the situation.

Just do the best that you can to be sensitive to their needs.

For example, you can ask the person if there’s anything specific about the event that might trigger an emotional crisis.

For example, you might ask a friend you’re inviting to a holiday concert, “Will the noise or the crowd be a problem for you?” You may need to ask someone else about any triggers the mentally ill person might have.

For instance, you might ask, “Do you know of any situations that might cause him distress or trigger his anxiety?” , Checking in with the person constantly may be stressful for them.

Instead, let them know ahead of time that you are there for them if they need anything.

You might also help the person to identify a safe space they can retreat to if they start to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, such as at a party or event.

If you can, ask someone close to you and the person to help you monitor how the person with mental illness is coping.

You might say, “Could you help me check on him throughout the program?” , When you invite mentally loved ones to a holiday event, it’s a good idea to check on them periodically to make sure they’re doing okay.

But you don’t have to overdo it.

Do what you can to respect and maintain the person’s privacy to make sure everyone is able to enjoy the event.

For instance, if you’re at a holiday dinner, never identify the person with a label like, “This is my aunt, Mamie.

She has schizophrenia.” Just introduce them as you would anyone else.

Try observing the person discreetly to see how they’re coping rather than asking them.

For example, you might notice whether your dad seems calm and relaxed, or is looking nervous or confused. , Although you may want your mentally ill loved one to participate in every holiday activity on your calendar, remember to give them a break.

A bit of time away from the activity can help assess how they’re doing and cope with any negative feelings they may be having.For example, you might take a quick five minute walk to the corner and back during a holiday get-together.

Or, you might plan to go to a winter brunch and then rest for a while before catching the blockbuster holiday movie. , Even though you may not want it to happen and may try to prevent it, your mentally ill loved one may need to leave the event because they can’t cope with the situation.

It will be much easier for you to quickly and quietly leave if you have an exit plan already created.

Talk to your loved one in advance about how you will know if they need or want to leave.

For example, you might say, “When you say ‘I’m tired,’ I’ll know that we need to leave.” If you need to, discreetly let the host or hostess know that you may need to leave abruptly.

You might say, “I think we’ll be fine, but this might be a bit much for my guest and we may have to leave early.”

About the Author

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Peter Rodriguez

Enthusiastic about teaching creative arts techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.

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