How to Give Someone a Guilt Trip

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Determine what change in behavior you want.

   Is this a point you want the other person to agree to or action you want them to take? This will assist your dialogue.In the case of agreeing to a point or idea, you may be asking the other person to admit they are wrong for saying, writing, or otherwise expressing a certain opinion.
   
   For example, if the other person insulted your appearance, you will be targeting their guilt about the statement.
   
   In the action case, you are guilt-tripping them about something they took part in physically.
   
   For example, if they stole from a store, you are focusing on their feelings about this act in particular.
   
   In either situation, you might expand your target to the general feelings of wrong doing on the other person in question.
2. 2

   Step 2: Ask the other person about their offense.

   You may not get a direct answer about this on the first try, but don't repetitively ask the question the same way each time.This is not a time to directly confront them about lying, more of a chance to turn their shame about the situation into the behavior you want.
   
   Rephrase the question until you get an admission of guilt about the statement or action.
   
   If you have detailed knowledge of the offense, you might lead them a bit.
   
   For example, if they were late to a wedding, you could provide details of the engagement in the question and ask where they were. , This will allow them to realize they need to be held accountable and permit you the opportunity to offer alternatives.It is possible the other person's explanation may not be entirely honest, but you should hear it out nonetheless.
   
   If the other person's explanation makes sense, consider accepting it--if you insist on checking it out--you may risk unnecessary resentment between the two of you.
   
   If the explanation is blatantly false, then consider re-using the questioning method from the earlier step to get a more accurate account.
   
   For example, if you are guilt tripping them for causing a scene at your birthday party, but they blamed a relative that wasn't even in attendance, you might rephrase the questions so they eliminate other parties first. , You should be careful to link the other person's offense and sense of wrong doing--not accuse them of more than they are guilty of.If the other person was guilty of an expressive offense, point this out and the slander, libel, or emotional lines they have crossed.
   
   For example, if they wrote a demeaning letter about a former partner in a public newspaper--this is a crime as well as personal insult.
   
   If the other person was guilty of a physical offense, such as damaging your personal music collection while borrowing it, point out the violation as well as the morals of personal responsibility. , This is whatever you want the other person to change their actions to.
   
   If this was a guilt trip for an expressive violation, then you may just want the other person to apologize and agree you are in the right.
   
   Consider asking them to write a formal apology.
   
   For example, in the situation of the violation occurring in print, the apology may appear in the same publication.
   
   If this was a guilt trip for a physical incident, you might want the other person to make more actionable amends.
   
   For example, if they ate food from your supplies without permission, you might ask them to replace it at their expense.
   
   In either situation, set a reasonable time limit for the other person to complete the behavior change. , Whatever happened to cause you to guilt trip the other person, and after the alternative behavior is satisfied, you should restore a healthy relationship.Review with the other person what went wrong and how you can prevent it from happening again.
   
   In the case of an expressive violation, see if you and the other person can change how you communicate.
   
   In the case of a physical situation, perhaps find other constructive behaviors to engage in.
   
   In extreme cases, consider professional psychological counseling.
3. 3

   Step 3: Provide the other person a chance to explain their actions.

4. 4

   Step 4: Highlight the other person's errors.

5. 5

   Step 5: Select your alternative behavior.

6. 6

   Step 6: Restore relations.

Detailed Guide

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