How to Write a Consolation Letter

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Acknowledge the loss.

   Acknowledging that the deceased has passed away is an important component of any condolence letter.
   
   Be sure to mention the deceased by name, and express what a loss their passing is.Mention how you heard about the deceased's passing, even if it was from the person you're writing to.
   
   You can use this part of the letter to express any shock or grief you felt at learning of the deceased's passing.
   
   For example, you might say something like, "I was shocked when I heard from Michael that Bob had passed away.
   
   He was so young, and it really took me by surprise."
2. 2

   Step 2: Offer a heartfelt condolence.

   Offering condolence is an essential part of any consolation letter for someone grieving a loss.
   
   Make sure you express your condolences sincerely and succinctly.
   
   Don't linger on expressing your sorrow, since it's not about how you feel, but don't rush through it either
   - about one or two sentences should suffice.Aim to spend one to two sentences expressing condolences.
   
   Be genuine in expressing your condolences.
   
   You should also be honest, which may include acknowledging the cause of death of the deceased.
   
   Try to relate to the bereaved's sorrow if it's someone you know.
   
   Letting them know that you're also saddened by the loss may be comforting to hear.
   
   For someone you know well, say something like, "I'm so shaken up by Bob's battle with cancer.
   
   He's the same age as me, and I find myself thinking it's just not fair that he died so young." For someone you don't know well, keep your condolences brief.
   
   Try something like, "I'm thinking of you and your family during this difficult time, and I'd like to offer my sincerest sympathy for what you're going through."
   
   It can be comforting for a grieving individual to hear nice things about the person who has passed away.
   
   Not only does it help that person to remember the good times, it also lets them know that other people saw the deceased the same way they did.You may want to share specific memories that you feel illustrate the deceased at their best, whether they're funny anecdotes or stories that show them being compassionate and kind.
   
   You should also talk about the unique and lovable characteristics of the deceased.
   
   Mention how the deceased was kind, funny, smart, etc. , Depending on how well you know the bereaved and the deceased, you may want to offer suggestions on how to memorialize the departed individual.
   
   There are many ways to memorialize someone, so it might be best to offer a few suggestions instead of insisting that any one way would be more appropriate.Planting trees, building a memorial (including a plaque or a bench), or having a "remembrance gathering" are all great ways to memorialize someone who has passed away.
   
   Writing about the deceased can also be extremely helpful.
   
   Let the bereaved know that you'd love to read more about the person who passed, and encourage that individual to write about the deceased. , Someone who is grieving a loss will probably be going through a lot of emotional pain, and may not be taking good care of himself or herself during that time.
   
   It's somewhat expected that if you offer consolation to a grieving person, you will offer some type of assistance or support as well (even if it's just offering an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on).Many grieving individuals who need help may be reluctant to ask for help with anything, even if you encourage that person to let you know if there's anything you can do.Offer specific assistance to the bereaved.
   
   For example, you might offer to take care of grocery shopping, running errands, picking up the kids from school, or sending out letters to family members.
   
   Make specific plans.
   
   Let the bereaved know you'll be over on a given day at a given time to help out. , Though you might mean the things you say in a warm and consoling way, certain phrases and terms may be misread by someone who is grieving.
   
   When you write a consolation letter, try to avoid saying anything that could inadvertently diminish the way the grieving person feels.
   
   Never say that everything happens for a reason.
   
   This can sound cruel and hurtful to someone who is mourning.
   
   Similarly, avoid platitudes like "God never gives you more than you can handle." The grieving person will be feeling overwhelmed and may not respond well to a message like that.
   
   Resist the urge to compare the grieving person's pain to a situation you've been in.
   
   Saying "I know just how you feel," for example, assumes that you know exactly how that person feels. , It's considered good form to end a condolence letter with some type of thoughtful phrase.
   
   This should reflect the tone and feel of the entire letter, and it should also wrap things up with some type of compassionate well-wishing.Some common thoughtful phrases that are appropriate for ending a condolence letter include: "My respects, today and always" "Keeping you and yours in my thoughts" "You have my deepest sympathies, as well as my friendship"
3. 3

   Step 3: Say nice things about the deceased.

4. 4

   Step 4: Suggest ways that the deceased can be memorialized.

5. 5

   Step 5: Volunteer your assistance.

6. 6

   Step 6: Avoid saying the wrong things.

7. 7

   Step 7: End the letter with something thoughtful.

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