How to Explain Cross Dressing to a Child
Educate yourself on cross dressing behavior., Explain the difference between sex and gender., Introduce your child to cultural expectations., Explain transgender identity., Answer your child's questions in simple terms., Offer age-appropriate...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Educate yourself on cross dressing behavior.
Before you discuss cross dressing with your child, it is best to first educate yourself about the behavior.
This is so you can report accurate information to your child, instead of misleading them.
Cross dressing can be defined as people who wear clothing and/or adornment, i.e., accessories and make up, that is traditionally associated with the opposite sex.
In other words, it occurs when a male wears a dress or make up, or when a female wears a men's haircut or a suit.
It is a form of gender expression.
While people who cross dress may refer to themselves as transgender, others may still refer to themselves as their assigned biological sex, or refer to themselves as the opposite sex, particularly when they dress up.You can explain to your child, "Cross dressing occurs when a boy dresses in girl clothing, like dresses, and when a girl dresses in boy clothing, like suits or boy's tennis shoes." -
Step 2: Explain the difference between sex and gender.
Explain to your child what "sex" is and what "gender" is and how they are different.
Sex includes physical attributes like sex chromosomes and hormones, external genitalia, and internal reproductive organs.
On the other hand, gender is the complex interplay between someone's biological sex and their internal sense of self as female, male, both, or neither (gender identity), as well as the presentation and behavior related to their perceptions (gender expression).You can say, for example, "Your biological sex is determined by the girl parts or boy parts you are born with.
However, gender is how a person feels on the inside, and how that is expressed on the outside."
Explain how cultural expectations are the way society expects you to behave.
Using the same color analogy, you can say, "If you are born blue, then society will want you to wear blue things, say blue things, and think blue things.
If you are born pink, then society will want you to wear pink things, say pink things, and think pink things." You can also explain, "Some blue people like to wear pink, while some pink people like to wear blue.
This is referred to as going against society's expectations, and it is not wrong or bad."
Transgender identity is a general term used to describe, or sometimes used by people to describe their gender non-conformity.
In other words, it is used to describe individuals whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex at birth.To help your child understand, you can explain, "Imagine someone who is born blue, but they feel pink on the inside.
So, they decide to wear pink things, even though they were born blue."
Your child may ask why a boy or girl dresses differently.
Or, if you are out in public, your child might ask why a man is dressed as a woman.
The answer is not a simple one because there are various reasons for why someone might cross dress.
Reassure your child that it is OK to want to dress as the opposite sex, and that you shouldn't look down on or think differently about people who do.
You can simply say, "There are many reasons for why a girl will wear boy clothes or why a boy will wear girl clothes.
Some people dress up for creative reasons, like when you dress up for Halloween, while other people dress up because they want to express how they feel on the inside.
Remember that some people who are born blue feel pink on the inside and want to wear pink, while some people who are born pink feel blue on the inside and want to wear blue."
For young children, explain sex, gender, gender identity, and gender expression in simple terms.
You can use simple analogies, like the color analogy, or a different type of analogy.
However, older children will want a more in-depth explanation, and will want to know why.
If your older child asks why, explain gender identity, gender expression, and cisgender.
For example, "Cisgender describes people whose sex assignment at birth matches their gender identity and expression.
Gender identity and expression is someone's internal sense of self, and how they express it outwardly."
Instead, explain to your child in age-appropriate explanations what they are and what the difference is.
If you discourage them from asking questions, they will get the impression that it is shameful to talk about, and that they should repress their feelings.
Sex and gender are a normal and a constant part of life.
Therefore, it is normal for your children to wonder about it.
If they ask during an inconvenient time, you can always tell your child that you will talk with them later about it, and that you will try to answer all their questions. , Another great time to talk about and explain cross dressing is while shopping for clothes.
You can start a discussion by saying, “Normally boys wear t-shirts and shorts, and girls wear dresses, but sometimes boys wear dresses too, and it is OK for girls to wear pants and t-shirts.” This way they can understand that, although society dictates what boys and girls should wear, it is OK to go against these rules. -
Step 3: Introduce your child to cultural expectations.
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Step 4: Explain transgender identity.
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Step 5: Answer your child's questions in simple terms.
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Step 6: Offer age-appropriate explanations.
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Step 7: Don't discourage your child from asking questions about sex and gender.
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Step 8: Explain cross dressing while shopping for clothes.
Detailed Guide
Before you discuss cross dressing with your child, it is best to first educate yourself about the behavior.
This is so you can report accurate information to your child, instead of misleading them.
Cross dressing can be defined as people who wear clothing and/or adornment, i.e., accessories and make up, that is traditionally associated with the opposite sex.
In other words, it occurs when a male wears a dress or make up, or when a female wears a men's haircut or a suit.
It is a form of gender expression.
While people who cross dress may refer to themselves as transgender, others may still refer to themselves as their assigned biological sex, or refer to themselves as the opposite sex, particularly when they dress up.You can explain to your child, "Cross dressing occurs when a boy dresses in girl clothing, like dresses, and when a girl dresses in boy clothing, like suits or boy's tennis shoes."
Explain to your child what "sex" is and what "gender" is and how they are different.
Sex includes physical attributes like sex chromosomes and hormones, external genitalia, and internal reproductive organs.
On the other hand, gender is the complex interplay between someone's biological sex and their internal sense of self as female, male, both, or neither (gender identity), as well as the presentation and behavior related to their perceptions (gender expression).You can say, for example, "Your biological sex is determined by the girl parts or boy parts you are born with.
However, gender is how a person feels on the inside, and how that is expressed on the outside."
Explain how cultural expectations are the way society expects you to behave.
Using the same color analogy, you can say, "If you are born blue, then society will want you to wear blue things, say blue things, and think blue things.
If you are born pink, then society will want you to wear pink things, say pink things, and think pink things." You can also explain, "Some blue people like to wear pink, while some pink people like to wear blue.
This is referred to as going against society's expectations, and it is not wrong or bad."
Transgender identity is a general term used to describe, or sometimes used by people to describe their gender non-conformity.
In other words, it is used to describe individuals whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex at birth.To help your child understand, you can explain, "Imagine someone who is born blue, but they feel pink on the inside.
So, they decide to wear pink things, even though they were born blue."
Your child may ask why a boy or girl dresses differently.
Or, if you are out in public, your child might ask why a man is dressed as a woman.
The answer is not a simple one because there are various reasons for why someone might cross dress.
Reassure your child that it is OK to want to dress as the opposite sex, and that you shouldn't look down on or think differently about people who do.
You can simply say, "There are many reasons for why a girl will wear boy clothes or why a boy will wear girl clothes.
Some people dress up for creative reasons, like when you dress up for Halloween, while other people dress up because they want to express how they feel on the inside.
Remember that some people who are born blue feel pink on the inside and want to wear pink, while some people who are born pink feel blue on the inside and want to wear blue."
For young children, explain sex, gender, gender identity, and gender expression in simple terms.
You can use simple analogies, like the color analogy, or a different type of analogy.
However, older children will want a more in-depth explanation, and will want to know why.
If your older child asks why, explain gender identity, gender expression, and cisgender.
For example, "Cisgender describes people whose sex assignment at birth matches their gender identity and expression.
Gender identity and expression is someone's internal sense of self, and how they express it outwardly."
Instead, explain to your child in age-appropriate explanations what they are and what the difference is.
If you discourage them from asking questions, they will get the impression that it is shameful to talk about, and that they should repress their feelings.
Sex and gender are a normal and a constant part of life.
Therefore, it is normal for your children to wonder about it.
If they ask during an inconvenient time, you can always tell your child that you will talk with them later about it, and that you will try to answer all their questions. , Another great time to talk about and explain cross dressing is while shopping for clothes.
You can start a discussion by saying, “Normally boys wear t-shirts and shorts, and girls wear dresses, but sometimes boys wear dresses too, and it is OK for girls to wear pants and t-shirts.” This way they can understand that, although society dictates what boys and girls should wear, it is OK to go against these rules.
About the Author
Andrea Taylor
Writer and educator with a focus on practical creative arts knowledge.
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