How to Deal with Homework Frustration As a Parent
Acknowledge your child’s frustration., Recommend a break., Make yourself available once everyone has calmed down., Try to identify the source of frustration., Don’t demand perfection.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Acknowledge your child’s frustration.
At one point or another, every child becomes frustrated with their homework.
At times, they may explode with anger, or become extremely sad or anxious.
Keep in mind that your child needs your support, as their behavior likely reflects a feeling of helplessness that they are unable to fully process.Instead of becoming frustrated yourself, try talking to your child calmly.
Start with a brief, sympathetic statement.
For instance, say “I’m sorry your homework is stressful today,” or “I know it can be frustrating when an assignment is hard to understand.” -
Step 2: Recommend a break.
While you will want to revisit a frustrating homework assignment, you and your child will be able to communicate better when you’re both calm.
Especially in cases where a child loses their temper or becomes visibly upset, say something like, “Lindsay, how about you take a break from that for a few minutes.
We can look at it together when you’re ready to give it another try.”, You may find yourself getting worked up when your child becomes frustrated.
If you feel yourself start to become agitated, don’t try to start a conversation, as the situation will likely escalate.
To help you both calm down, ask them if they’ll take a few deep breaths with you.Direct them to breathe in through their nose deeply and slowly for five seconds, and then release slowly through their mouth.
If you do lose your temper and shout at your child, apologize to them and remind yourself they need your help.
Once everyone is relaxed again, say something like, “Alright let’s have a look at this homework together.” , After working through a challenging homework assignment, it may be worth talking about how or why, specifically, your child got frustrated.
This is especially worthwhile if your child gets frustrated frequently.
For instance, ask them something like, "That wasn't so bad after all, was it? Why did it frustrate you earlier?"Listen to your child's response and respond with a way they can handle a similar situation differently in the future.
For instance, if they say, "I got mad because it was too hard," point out that they were able to complete the assignment, and had just gotten stuck on one problem.
Then say, "Next time, you know you can always ask me or your teacher about parts of your assignment that don't make sense, right?"
Children make mistakes as they learn and grow.
Keeping this in mind, avoid stepping in to help complete your child’s homework unless they ask you to do so.
In fact, learning often depends upon making mistakes.Furthermore, anticipate and accept the fact that you will likely have a verbal battle about homework at one point or another.
If you find yourself getting frustrated when your child struggles with homework, take a moment afterwards to reflect.
In particular, remind yourself that growing up involves plenty of challenges for children, and that your patient support will help them immeasurably. -
Step 3: Make yourself available once everyone has calmed down.
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Step 4: Try to identify the source of frustration.
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Step 5: Don’t demand perfection.
Detailed Guide
At one point or another, every child becomes frustrated with their homework.
At times, they may explode with anger, or become extremely sad or anxious.
Keep in mind that your child needs your support, as their behavior likely reflects a feeling of helplessness that they are unable to fully process.Instead of becoming frustrated yourself, try talking to your child calmly.
Start with a brief, sympathetic statement.
For instance, say “I’m sorry your homework is stressful today,” or “I know it can be frustrating when an assignment is hard to understand.”
While you will want to revisit a frustrating homework assignment, you and your child will be able to communicate better when you’re both calm.
Especially in cases where a child loses their temper or becomes visibly upset, say something like, “Lindsay, how about you take a break from that for a few minutes.
We can look at it together when you’re ready to give it another try.”, You may find yourself getting worked up when your child becomes frustrated.
If you feel yourself start to become agitated, don’t try to start a conversation, as the situation will likely escalate.
To help you both calm down, ask them if they’ll take a few deep breaths with you.Direct them to breathe in through their nose deeply and slowly for five seconds, and then release slowly through their mouth.
If you do lose your temper and shout at your child, apologize to them and remind yourself they need your help.
Once everyone is relaxed again, say something like, “Alright let’s have a look at this homework together.” , After working through a challenging homework assignment, it may be worth talking about how or why, specifically, your child got frustrated.
This is especially worthwhile if your child gets frustrated frequently.
For instance, ask them something like, "That wasn't so bad after all, was it? Why did it frustrate you earlier?"Listen to your child's response and respond with a way they can handle a similar situation differently in the future.
For instance, if they say, "I got mad because it was too hard," point out that they were able to complete the assignment, and had just gotten stuck on one problem.
Then say, "Next time, you know you can always ask me or your teacher about parts of your assignment that don't make sense, right?"
Children make mistakes as they learn and grow.
Keeping this in mind, avoid stepping in to help complete your child’s homework unless they ask you to do so.
In fact, learning often depends upon making mistakes.Furthermore, anticipate and accept the fact that you will likely have a verbal battle about homework at one point or another.
If you find yourself getting frustrated when your child struggles with homework, take a moment afterwards to reflect.
In particular, remind yourself that growing up involves plenty of challenges for children, and that your patient support will help them immeasurably.
About the Author
Lauren Clark
Brings years of experience writing about lifestyle and related subjects.
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