How to Mentor Teens
Be clear about your intentions., Ensure that the meeting with the teen is in a neutral place away from the teen's usual environment (unless the teen requests to meet somewhere of their choosing)., When engaging the teen it helps to come across as...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be clear about your intentions.
Ask yourself why you would like to fill that particular role as a "mentor" to young people.
Also you should ask yourself if you can commit to this for the long term. (Do you have the energy/passion and free time?) Remember that to be a mentor there has to be trust and there can be no trust without a sort of relationship between the "mentor" and the teenager and that takes time to build. -
Step 2: Ensure that the meeting with the teen is in a neutral place away from the teen's usual environment (unless the teen requests to meet somewhere of their choosing).
This way you get to control the type of atmosphere that the teen will be exposed to.
This is very important as teenagers often adapt to the atmosphere of a place more easily than an adult would.
A place with open space that's quiet is great as it promotes relaxation (encouraging the teen to talk more freely). , Ask the teen how he/she is doing/feeling and inquire about what has been happening in their lives.
The goal is to get them talking without their psychological "protective walls" in place. , Pay close attention to key words that they might use in their sentences that would indicate strong feelings or intent.
Never interrupt them while they are talking, let them say all that they wanted to say before commenting or asking questions. , If you seem distracted or uncomfortable, they will notice and negative feelings/thoughts will cause them to think that you do not really want to be there. , After you are satisfied that the teen has expressed his/herself fully, think about the key words and facts that were mentioned.
Ask the teen what he/she's desired outcome would be in their current predicament. (how do they want their situation to end).
Focus on what the teen really wants to talk about.
Try to relate to those points and use your experience to guide the teen in a safe direction towards their desired goal. , Some issues will be easy for most adult to relate to and offer good positive advice like how to choose a good career or relationship problems, etc.
However, there might be something far worse happening in the teen's life.
These are issues like abuse, drug/alcohol addiction, suicide thoughts etc. , In cases such as those mentioned above, this article strongly suggests that the reader (mentor) encourage professional help.
The best things for a "mentor" to do in these situations are to listen and show the teen that you (the mentor) can be trusted with the information that is shared.
Pay close attention to detail in the conversations as it might be of help later on.
Try to guide the teen into deciding to seek professional help and pledge your support (if possible) for the duration of those sessions. , Be careful not to get too involved in the situation.
There is a fine line between offering advice and telling someone what to do.
As a "mentor" you cannot be the "judge".
Most of the time it is not as simple as right or wrong.
This article encourages the "mentor" to engage in conversation in an attempt to fist clarify and simplify the problem/challenge and then assist the teen in helping them to find the right answer themselves while bestowing trust and encouragement trust of the teen's ability to reach the desired outcome. , When the conversation is at an end and the time has come to go separate ways, try encouraging them by stating how wonderful it was to be in their conversation and let them know that you believe in them, trust them to make positive choices in their own life and remind them of the strong good person that you see in them.
This will give them the motivation they need to start positive change in their life. -
Step 3: When engaging the teen it helps to come across as being energetic and interested.
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Step 4: Listen more than you talk.
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Step 5: Be mindful of your facial expression and body posture.
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Step 6: Provide appropriate feedback.
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Step 7: Identify the root cause.
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Step 8: Know what is best.
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Step 9: Practice caution.
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Step 10: Offer positive encouragement.
Detailed Guide
Ask yourself why you would like to fill that particular role as a "mentor" to young people.
Also you should ask yourself if you can commit to this for the long term. (Do you have the energy/passion and free time?) Remember that to be a mentor there has to be trust and there can be no trust without a sort of relationship between the "mentor" and the teenager and that takes time to build.
This way you get to control the type of atmosphere that the teen will be exposed to.
This is very important as teenagers often adapt to the atmosphere of a place more easily than an adult would.
A place with open space that's quiet is great as it promotes relaxation (encouraging the teen to talk more freely). , Ask the teen how he/she is doing/feeling and inquire about what has been happening in their lives.
The goal is to get them talking without their psychological "protective walls" in place. , Pay close attention to key words that they might use in their sentences that would indicate strong feelings or intent.
Never interrupt them while they are talking, let them say all that they wanted to say before commenting or asking questions. , If you seem distracted or uncomfortable, they will notice and negative feelings/thoughts will cause them to think that you do not really want to be there. , After you are satisfied that the teen has expressed his/herself fully, think about the key words and facts that were mentioned.
Ask the teen what he/she's desired outcome would be in their current predicament. (how do they want their situation to end).
Focus on what the teen really wants to talk about.
Try to relate to those points and use your experience to guide the teen in a safe direction towards their desired goal. , Some issues will be easy for most adult to relate to and offer good positive advice like how to choose a good career or relationship problems, etc.
However, there might be something far worse happening in the teen's life.
These are issues like abuse, drug/alcohol addiction, suicide thoughts etc. , In cases such as those mentioned above, this article strongly suggests that the reader (mentor) encourage professional help.
The best things for a "mentor" to do in these situations are to listen and show the teen that you (the mentor) can be trusted with the information that is shared.
Pay close attention to detail in the conversations as it might be of help later on.
Try to guide the teen into deciding to seek professional help and pledge your support (if possible) for the duration of those sessions. , Be careful not to get too involved in the situation.
There is a fine line between offering advice and telling someone what to do.
As a "mentor" you cannot be the "judge".
Most of the time it is not as simple as right or wrong.
This article encourages the "mentor" to engage in conversation in an attempt to fist clarify and simplify the problem/challenge and then assist the teen in helping them to find the right answer themselves while bestowing trust and encouragement trust of the teen's ability to reach the desired outcome. , When the conversation is at an end and the time has come to go separate ways, try encouraging them by stating how wonderful it was to be in their conversation and let them know that you believe in them, trust them to make positive choices in their own life and remind them of the strong good person that you see in them.
This will give them the motivation they need to start positive change in their life.
About the Author
Kimberly Rodriguez
Writer and educator with a focus on practical organization knowledge.
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