How to Stand Up to Your Enemies at School

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Reframe your thinking.

   Thinking of someone as your "enemy" makes things very black-or-white — it ignores that people are complicated and not simply "good" or "evil." Ask yourself — why do you consider this person an enemy? What have they done or who are they to you that makes them your enemy? Try to view them as people, the same as the you, and shake the good vs. bad label.
   
   When someone does something rude or mean, it can help you keep your cool and not take it personally to remember that they're just a person and they are probably taking something out on you.
   
   Developing empathy can help you ditch the black-or-white thinking.
   
   Empathy allows you to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand their perspective.
   
   If, for example, a classmate is rude to you, instead of taking it personally and getting hurt or mad, you might think, "Our teacher yelled at him earlier today, and I could tell he was embarrassed.
   
   Now he's trying to take that out on me.
   
   This has to do with him feeling embarrassed and nothing to do with me."
2. 2

   Step 2: Practice talking to the person.

   You can feel more confident standing up to the person if you practice what you are going to say and how you are going to say it.Think about what you are going to say.
   
   Write it down if you need to, so that you can get your wording just right.
   
   Practice what you want to say at home in the mirror, or even in the bathroom mirror at school, if you need to.
   
   For example, you might look in the mirror and say, “I am confident and I can stand up for myself.” You can also ask a friend of yours to practice with you.
   
   You could say, “Barbara, will you help me practice what I want to say to Emile?” , Even if you don’t feel so confident, you can stand up to someone if you act like you are confident.
   
   Whenever you are around the person, act as if you are sure of yourself.Take a deep breath or two to calm yourself down.
   
   You’ll act more confidently if you’re calm and relaxed.
   
   Stand up straight, loosen your shoulders and push them back a bit.
   
   Relax your arms and hands.
   
   If you are carrying something, then just hold it — don’t grip it like your life depends on it.
   
   Hold your head up and look forward and around you when you are walking.Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
   
   Nothing shows confidence more than a great smile.
   
   If it helps, think of something funny to make yourself smile.
   
   For example, when you are going into the lunchroom and you know someone you don't get along with is there, take a deep breath, hold up your head and smile as you walk through the doors. , When you feel good about yourself you will find it easier to stand up for yourself.
   
   So, make sure to do things that improve your self-image and your opinion of yourself.Use positive self-talk.
   
   Say things to yourself like, “I’m a great person.
   
   I am brave, smart, and people like me.
   
   Most important, I like me.” Make a list or a journal entry describing all the good things about you and the things that you can do.
   
   For example, you might write, “I’m caring, friendly, and I can play soccer, basketball, and football.” , Being around your family and friends can give you the courage and support you need to stand up to bullies and advocate for yourself.They can help you feel good about yourself and help you figure out ways to deal with people you don't get along with.
   
   Talk to the people close to you about what is going on.
   
   Ask them for suggestions for dealing with it.
   
   You could say, “Can I talk to you about someone at school?” Spend time doing things that you enjoy like watching a movie or going for a bike ride.
   
   Doing things with people that care about you will improve your mood and self-esteem.
   
   If you don’t have time to get together in person, then make the time to call or video chat your friends and family. , If you start yelling and screaming at the person, or get physically violent, you will be giving them the reaction they want.Instead, stand up to the person by talking to them in a calm, confident, controlled voice that lets them know you are serious.
   
   Look the person in the eyes and speak in a clear, assertive voice.
   
   You don’t have to sound mean, but you don’t want to sound scared either.
   
   For example, if someone calls you a rude name, don’t start yelling rude things back.
   
   Instead, look them in the eyes and stay calm.
   
   Try saying, “I’m tired of you bothering me at school.
   
   I don’t have time for it, so just leave me alone.” Or, you might try, “This is childish.
   
   I have better things to do than waste time with you, and I’m sure you do to.” , The less time you spend around bullies or people you don't get along with, the less time they will have to say something to get on your nerves.
   
   You can stand up for yourself if you say what you need to say and then move on.
   
   Don’t give bullies time to say anything bad about you or give you a hard time.
   
   Act like you are busy or on the way somewhere when you see them.
   
   For example, a bully is coming into class when you are leaving and they say something rude, just say “Whatever” or ignore them and keep walking out of the door.
   
   If you feel threatened or like the situation is getting violent or out of hand, you should just leave.
   
   Go somewhere where other people are around or that you feel safe.
3. 3

   Step 3: Act with confidence.

4. 4

   Step 4: Boost your self-esteem.

5. 5

   Step 5: Surround yourself with people that care about you.

6. 6

   Step 6: Stay calm and in control when you talk.

7. 7

   Step 7: Keep your interactions short.

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