How to Ask a Guy Out Online (for Straight Women)
Browse the network for someone compatible., Indicate your interest., Read his profile., Check for red flags., Write your "opening message"., Pop the question: Ask him out., Wait., If he says yes, go on a date!, Send a follow up text sometime the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Browse the network for someone compatible.
For smartphone users, the right-swiping "Like" function on mobile apps of OkCupid and Tinder are particularly easy for streamlining this process.
Note: it's a lot more likely you'll have more in common with someone who is over 85% on OkCupid. , Hit the star on OkCupid or whatever button to tell them you've noticed their profile.
Chances of talking are upped if he "Like"s you back in 2 days!, Don't judge a book by its cover.
If you're looking for a good time, you've got to have similar (enough) minds! Do you think you two would click based on your sense of humour, taste in music, food preferences, age and upbringing? Are there going to be things you two can talk about?If you're worried about appearing obsessive with profile viewing, you can opt to browse OkCupid anonymously., Does his profile mention exes in a bad light? Does he dislike animals that you like? Does he appear to resent his family or harbor sexist views? These are things to look out for; you don't want to date or hook up with someone who carries negative energy or unresolved baggage–they could impose it on you!, If you're wary of appearing desperate after "liking" a guy on OkCupid, give it a day before you message him.
Test the waters by crafting a message with a few lines.
Ask what his hobbies are or where he likes to go in the city.
Stand out from other suitors by responding to something from his dating profile. Point out your shared love or distaste for animals or grilled cheese.
Ask what he thinks of a certain movie from the genre he likes. Ask him about his hometown, places he's travelled, books or TV shows he's been watching. If he's interested in you he should respond with a longer chunk of text and some questions about you.
If answers seem generic and messaging slows down to responses every several days, it's probably time to move on to another online interest., By now you should be messaging back and forth with a day or less in between messages, and you're still interested to see him. It's time to plan an IRL (in real life) meeting! Depending on your personality, you can ask him directly.
For example: "Do you want to talk about this more over a beer?" "What are you up to this weekend? Wanna get brunch?" "Want to crash the mall like Avril Lavigne in Complicated?" "I've been dying to see this movie, wanna see it and get dinner after?" If you really prefer him to make the first move, mention the idea of getting together in passing and see how he responds. "I love eating breakfast at any time of the day!" or "I'd be down to see a Cubs game any day!" (Make sure you really mean it.) , Sometimes a guy needs time to read your profile and also figure out whether you two would get along.
Other times, a guy is too underdeveloped for online dating and just won't respond.
There isn't much you can do at this point, but don't pester him for an answer., Arrange to meet up, hang out or whatever you decide to call it.
Ask him tons of questions about him and try to comment on the music or decor of the venue if there's nothing to talk about. , It's a polite thing to do and people appreciate knowing whether or not the other party is still interested.
Still interested in him? Say you had a good time and mention some kind of in-joke you had established during the meeting.
Texting hopefully leads to chatting and soon the planning of another date...! If there really wasn't chemistry, say it was great to meet and that you "just don't feel a connection".
This way, everyone leaves on the same page and his online dating experience would be a lot less offhanded. -
Step 2: Indicate your interest.
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Step 3: Read his profile.
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Step 4: Check for red flags.
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Step 5: Write your "opening message".
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Step 6: Pop the question: Ask him out.
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Step 7: If he says yes
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Step 8: go on a date!
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Step 9: Send a follow up text sometime the next day–if he hasn't already.
Detailed Guide
For smartphone users, the right-swiping "Like" function on mobile apps of OkCupid and Tinder are particularly easy for streamlining this process.
Note: it's a lot more likely you'll have more in common with someone who is over 85% on OkCupid. , Hit the star on OkCupid or whatever button to tell them you've noticed their profile.
Chances of talking are upped if he "Like"s you back in 2 days!, Don't judge a book by its cover.
If you're looking for a good time, you've got to have similar (enough) minds! Do you think you two would click based on your sense of humour, taste in music, food preferences, age and upbringing? Are there going to be things you two can talk about?If you're worried about appearing obsessive with profile viewing, you can opt to browse OkCupid anonymously., Does his profile mention exes in a bad light? Does he dislike animals that you like? Does he appear to resent his family or harbor sexist views? These are things to look out for; you don't want to date or hook up with someone who carries negative energy or unresolved baggage–they could impose it on you!, If you're wary of appearing desperate after "liking" a guy on OkCupid, give it a day before you message him.
Test the waters by crafting a message with a few lines.
Ask what his hobbies are or where he likes to go in the city.
Stand out from other suitors by responding to something from his dating profile. Point out your shared love or distaste for animals or grilled cheese.
Ask what he thinks of a certain movie from the genre he likes. Ask him about his hometown, places he's travelled, books or TV shows he's been watching. If he's interested in you he should respond with a longer chunk of text and some questions about you.
If answers seem generic and messaging slows down to responses every several days, it's probably time to move on to another online interest., By now you should be messaging back and forth with a day or less in between messages, and you're still interested to see him. It's time to plan an IRL (in real life) meeting! Depending on your personality, you can ask him directly.
For example: "Do you want to talk about this more over a beer?" "What are you up to this weekend? Wanna get brunch?" "Want to crash the mall like Avril Lavigne in Complicated?" "I've been dying to see this movie, wanna see it and get dinner after?" If you really prefer him to make the first move, mention the idea of getting together in passing and see how he responds. "I love eating breakfast at any time of the day!" or "I'd be down to see a Cubs game any day!" (Make sure you really mean it.) , Sometimes a guy needs time to read your profile and also figure out whether you two would get along.
Other times, a guy is too underdeveloped for online dating and just won't respond.
There isn't much you can do at this point, but don't pester him for an answer., Arrange to meet up, hang out or whatever you decide to call it.
Ask him tons of questions about him and try to comment on the music or decor of the venue if there's nothing to talk about. , It's a polite thing to do and people appreciate knowing whether or not the other party is still interested.
Still interested in him? Say you had a good time and mention some kind of in-joke you had established during the meeting.
Texting hopefully leads to chatting and soon the planning of another date...! If there really wasn't chemistry, say it was great to meet and that you "just don't feel a connection".
This way, everyone leaves on the same page and his online dating experience would be a lot less offhanded.
About the Author
Nicholas Garcia
Nicholas Garcia has dedicated 3 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Nicholas focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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