How to Be Happy Even when Alone
Develop independence., Explore your interests., Try new hobbies., Build up your tolerance to being alone., Enjoy having things "your way.", Soothe yourself., Appreciate yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Develop independence.
Individuals, especially extroverts (social butterflies who get their energy from being around people), may sometimes rely on others to help them feel happy or content.
However, in order to be happy when we are alone we first need to become less dependent on others to make us happy, and more self-reliant.
If you are an extrovert, you may benefit from doing things alone so that you can practice developing social energy with strangers instead of close friends.
Fortunately, you can continue to be extroverted and social even when alone.
Focus on developing your confidence by practicing and engaging in activities associated with being alone and delving into uncharted territory.For example, if you always wanted to learn how to play an instrument you could start now.
There are many tutorials online that you could use to start the learning process.
Try doing activities on your own on purpose.
Before asking for help or wanting someone to come along, try it on your own.
For example, if you usually like your partner to accompany you to the grocery store, try going alone.
Keep in mind that this will be uncomfortable at first and it may take a while for it to feel comfortable, but it will get better over time. -
Step 2: Explore your interests.
Understand the things that you enjoy and try completing them alone.
Try doing things that you have never done before in order to build up your interests.
If you are an extrovert you may have difficulty with this because you desire to be around people, especially when engaging in your interests.
However, the more you practice engaging in your interests alone, the easier it will be.
Keep busy.
There are so many options for activities to explore including: art, dancing, writing, reading, playing an instrument, hiking, camping, taking care of a pet, traveling, and cooking.
Use a planner to keep track of what you have going on for the week and schedule something in if there is too much empty time.
Attempt activities while alone that make you feel social.
The extrovert may like to engage in activities that resemble being social while being alone such as texting, chatting on the phone, or going on social networking sites.
This can help you feel happier and more socially connected when alone. , You might be used to spending a lot of time with others.
But don't worry, you can easily adjust to being by yourself.
You can use your alone time to explore a new activity that you've always wanted to do.Maybe you've been dying to try yoga, but you've been too nervous to go to a class.
Buy a DVD or download some videos, and you can find your zen while enjoying your own company.
Try gardening.
This is a solitary activity that can be very rewarding.
You will find a new way to spend your time, and also get some beautiful flowers or yummy veggies as a reward.
Consider an arts and craft project.
You could try your hand at mosaic tiles, watercolors, or even just enjoy relaxing with an adult coloring book.
You could plan or create something for your loved ones.
This way, you are focusing on cultivating your relationships while you are alone. , You can find lots of ways to get to know yourself better.
For example, spend some time thinking about your greatest desires.
The more activities you do alone, the more comfortable you may feel with being unaccompanied.
Facing your fear of being alone may help it feel less scary and more like a normal occurrence.Start out with short periods of time alone and work up to longer ones.
For starters, try activities like going for walks, going out to eat, and shopping.
Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.Know that being alone and being lonely are different.You can be alone without feeling lonely. , Maybe you just moved into your first apartment by yourself.
Whether you're missing family, a roommate, or an ex, living alone can be an adjustment.
It's important to remember that there are a lot of perks to having your own space.Did you get tired of your roommate constantly eating your food? Guess what? Now you get to eat everything you buy and cook.
Maybe your ex irritated you by constantly leaving shoes all around the house.
Now your home can be as clutter free as you like it.
Or maybe you're constantly cold and used to live with people who hated cranking the heat up.
No need to worry about that anymore.
Set the thermostat to the temperature that makes you the most comfortable. , Self-soothing is a prominent coping skill when learning how to tolerate being unaccompanied.
If you are feeling a negative emotion (angry, sad, lonely), it is important to learn how to calm yourself.Extroverts may benefit from soothing themselves because being completely alone can be especially uncomfortable for the social butterfly.
Validate yourself.
Instead of relying on others to validate us, we need to work on validating ourselves.
For example, if you are feeling like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, try telling yourself something that a friend might, such as, “Are you serious? You are great at your job!" The extrovert may rely more heavily on social approval for validation and would benefit from learning how to build yourself up.
Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone! It is also okay to be alone while in public.
Focus on your positive qualities and what you like about yourself.
Understand your shortcomings also, but do not let them drag you down.
Try journaling about your feelings.
Writing about how you are feeling may help you to feel better and put things into perspective. , Take some time to celebrate your good qualities.
Reflect on your best traits.
You can even add these to your gratitude journal.For example, you could say, "I do an awesome job at work.
I'm a valued member of the team." Or just look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You have kind eyes." -
Step 3: Try new hobbies.
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Step 4: Build up your tolerance to being alone.
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Step 5: Enjoy having things "your way."
-
Step 6: Soothe yourself.
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Step 7: Appreciate yourself.
Detailed Guide
Individuals, especially extroverts (social butterflies who get their energy from being around people), may sometimes rely on others to help them feel happy or content.
However, in order to be happy when we are alone we first need to become less dependent on others to make us happy, and more self-reliant.
If you are an extrovert, you may benefit from doing things alone so that you can practice developing social energy with strangers instead of close friends.
Fortunately, you can continue to be extroverted and social even when alone.
Focus on developing your confidence by practicing and engaging in activities associated with being alone and delving into uncharted territory.For example, if you always wanted to learn how to play an instrument you could start now.
There are many tutorials online that you could use to start the learning process.
Try doing activities on your own on purpose.
Before asking for help or wanting someone to come along, try it on your own.
For example, if you usually like your partner to accompany you to the grocery store, try going alone.
Keep in mind that this will be uncomfortable at first and it may take a while for it to feel comfortable, but it will get better over time.
Understand the things that you enjoy and try completing them alone.
Try doing things that you have never done before in order to build up your interests.
If you are an extrovert you may have difficulty with this because you desire to be around people, especially when engaging in your interests.
However, the more you practice engaging in your interests alone, the easier it will be.
Keep busy.
There are so many options for activities to explore including: art, dancing, writing, reading, playing an instrument, hiking, camping, taking care of a pet, traveling, and cooking.
Use a planner to keep track of what you have going on for the week and schedule something in if there is too much empty time.
Attempt activities while alone that make you feel social.
The extrovert may like to engage in activities that resemble being social while being alone such as texting, chatting on the phone, or going on social networking sites.
This can help you feel happier and more socially connected when alone. , You might be used to spending a lot of time with others.
But don't worry, you can easily adjust to being by yourself.
You can use your alone time to explore a new activity that you've always wanted to do.Maybe you've been dying to try yoga, but you've been too nervous to go to a class.
Buy a DVD or download some videos, and you can find your zen while enjoying your own company.
Try gardening.
This is a solitary activity that can be very rewarding.
You will find a new way to spend your time, and also get some beautiful flowers or yummy veggies as a reward.
Consider an arts and craft project.
You could try your hand at mosaic tiles, watercolors, or even just enjoy relaxing with an adult coloring book.
You could plan or create something for your loved ones.
This way, you are focusing on cultivating your relationships while you are alone. , You can find lots of ways to get to know yourself better.
For example, spend some time thinking about your greatest desires.
The more activities you do alone, the more comfortable you may feel with being unaccompanied.
Facing your fear of being alone may help it feel less scary and more like a normal occurrence.Start out with short periods of time alone and work up to longer ones.
For starters, try activities like going for walks, going out to eat, and shopping.
Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.Know that being alone and being lonely are different.You can be alone without feeling lonely. , Maybe you just moved into your first apartment by yourself.
Whether you're missing family, a roommate, or an ex, living alone can be an adjustment.
It's important to remember that there are a lot of perks to having your own space.Did you get tired of your roommate constantly eating your food? Guess what? Now you get to eat everything you buy and cook.
Maybe your ex irritated you by constantly leaving shoes all around the house.
Now your home can be as clutter free as you like it.
Or maybe you're constantly cold and used to live with people who hated cranking the heat up.
No need to worry about that anymore.
Set the thermostat to the temperature that makes you the most comfortable. , Self-soothing is a prominent coping skill when learning how to tolerate being unaccompanied.
If you are feeling a negative emotion (angry, sad, lonely), it is important to learn how to calm yourself.Extroverts may benefit from soothing themselves because being completely alone can be especially uncomfortable for the social butterfly.
Validate yourself.
Instead of relying on others to validate us, we need to work on validating ourselves.
For example, if you are feeling like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, try telling yourself something that a friend might, such as, “Are you serious? You are great at your job!" The extrovert may rely more heavily on social approval for validation and would benefit from learning how to build yourself up.
Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone! It is also okay to be alone while in public.
Focus on your positive qualities and what you like about yourself.
Understand your shortcomings also, but do not let them drag you down.
Try journaling about your feelings.
Writing about how you are feeling may help you to feel better and put things into perspective. , Take some time to celebrate your good qualities.
Reflect on your best traits.
You can even add these to your gratitude journal.For example, you could say, "I do an awesome job at work.
I'm a valued member of the team." Or just look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You have kind eyes."
About the Author
Carolyn Rodriguez
Experienced content creator specializing in DIY projects guides and tutorials.
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