How to Deal with Bullies When You're Autistic
Talk to a trusted adult or authority figure., Call a bullying hotline., Keep a diary., Avoid being alone., Join groups based around your special interests.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Talk to a trusted adult or authority figure.
Bullies will try to convince you that if you "tattle" on them, they will make things worse for you.
They may even tell you that you will get yourself in trouble.
However, talking to someone who has the power to stop the bullying should always be your first course of action.Any aggressive, threatening, or violent behavior should be reported to the police immediately.
If you fear for your safety or your life, call
911.
Bullies often target people who they believe won't tell on them, or who they believe they can convince not to report their behavior.
If a bully gets in trouble for their actions, they are unlikely to repeat them.
You may be afraid of getting someone else in trouble, or tell yourself that what they're doing isn't really "that bad." However, if it's hurting you or making you feel uncomfortable, it's worth telling someone about.
Choose someone you trust, and who you know will believe you and take action on your behalf.
For example, if you're getting bullied at school and you don't trust your teacher to stop the bullying, you may be able to talk to another teacher, coach, or school administrator with whom you have a closer relationship.
If you're an adult and are getting bullied at work, it may be more difficult to find someone to tell – especially if the bully is your immediate supervisor.
In that situation, even telling a co-worker you trust can help, because they can go with you to present a united front. -
Step 2: Call a bullying hotline.
Many autistic people have social anxiety or other issues that make it difficult to trust others and seek help from them.
Search online for bullying hotlines in your area where you can talk to someone who will help you.People who work at bullying hotlines are professionally trained to talk to victims of bullying and help them, so you know you can trust the person who takes your call.
Even if you're calling a hotline specifically designed to take calls from autistic people, tell the person who takes your call that you are autistic.
If there are any accommodations you require that will make it easier for you to talk on the phone, let them know.
If you don't want to use the phone, look for a hotline online that will allow you to submit your statement in an online form or by sending an email. , Get yourself a special notebook for recording details about the bullying you are experiencing.
As soon as possible after an incident occurs, write an entry in your diary that explains where you were, what happened, and who was there.A written record can help you establish the bully's pattern of behavior, especially if the incidents typically take place when there aren't many other people around to witness it.
If someone is bullying or harassing you online, take screen-caps of the messages or comments from the bully so you have a record of the behavior even if it's later deleted.
Share your diary with a trusted friend or family member so they can help you.
It also may help to show the diary to an adult or authority figure so they understand more about what's going on.
Particularly if you have problems communicating with people, or have social anxiety issues, they may understand more about the threat you're facing by reading your diary than you could tell them yourself. , Bullies are less likely to bother you if you are surrounded by other people.
If you are in school, try to stay close to a teacher or other adult as much as possible.
Bullies are much less likely to act if someone with authority is nearby.As an autistic person, you may not have a lot of friends.
This can present challenges, especially if your friend has a different schedule than you do.
Explain the situation to your friend and ask if they can introduce you to other people who will be with you when they are not to provide "safety in numbers." Especially in a school situation, stick close by adults, even if you don't know them very well.
Teachers and other adults have a responsibility to monitor student behavior, and bullies will seldom act out against their victims when an adult is present.
In a work or extra-curricular situation, try to avoid situations in which you can be isolated.
For example, you might want to ask a trusted co-worker if they will go to the bathroom with you so you don't give the bully an opportunity to get you alone. , Your special interests are a powerful tool that you can use to make friends who will appreciate your skills and knowledge in spite of your differences.
These people can help protect you from bullies.Participating in a group also can enhance your self-esteem, particularly if the group revolves around something that you enjoy and have researched extensively.
If you have difficulty communicating, try to find a single person in the group who you can use as your "point person." Communicate to them and let them help you connect to the other people in the group.
When you make valuable contributions to the group, the members of the group will find you important and valuable.
This will make them more inclined to protect you and stand up against others who might try to bully you. -
Step 3: Keep a diary.
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Step 4: Avoid being alone.
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Step 5: Join groups based around your special interests.
Detailed Guide
Bullies will try to convince you that if you "tattle" on them, they will make things worse for you.
They may even tell you that you will get yourself in trouble.
However, talking to someone who has the power to stop the bullying should always be your first course of action.Any aggressive, threatening, or violent behavior should be reported to the police immediately.
If you fear for your safety or your life, call
911.
Bullies often target people who they believe won't tell on them, or who they believe they can convince not to report their behavior.
If a bully gets in trouble for their actions, they are unlikely to repeat them.
You may be afraid of getting someone else in trouble, or tell yourself that what they're doing isn't really "that bad." However, if it's hurting you or making you feel uncomfortable, it's worth telling someone about.
Choose someone you trust, and who you know will believe you and take action on your behalf.
For example, if you're getting bullied at school and you don't trust your teacher to stop the bullying, you may be able to talk to another teacher, coach, or school administrator with whom you have a closer relationship.
If you're an adult and are getting bullied at work, it may be more difficult to find someone to tell – especially if the bully is your immediate supervisor.
In that situation, even telling a co-worker you trust can help, because they can go with you to present a united front.
Many autistic people have social anxiety or other issues that make it difficult to trust others and seek help from them.
Search online for bullying hotlines in your area where you can talk to someone who will help you.People who work at bullying hotlines are professionally trained to talk to victims of bullying and help them, so you know you can trust the person who takes your call.
Even if you're calling a hotline specifically designed to take calls from autistic people, tell the person who takes your call that you are autistic.
If there are any accommodations you require that will make it easier for you to talk on the phone, let them know.
If you don't want to use the phone, look for a hotline online that will allow you to submit your statement in an online form or by sending an email. , Get yourself a special notebook for recording details about the bullying you are experiencing.
As soon as possible after an incident occurs, write an entry in your diary that explains where you were, what happened, and who was there.A written record can help you establish the bully's pattern of behavior, especially if the incidents typically take place when there aren't many other people around to witness it.
If someone is bullying or harassing you online, take screen-caps of the messages or comments from the bully so you have a record of the behavior even if it's later deleted.
Share your diary with a trusted friend or family member so they can help you.
It also may help to show the diary to an adult or authority figure so they understand more about what's going on.
Particularly if you have problems communicating with people, or have social anxiety issues, they may understand more about the threat you're facing by reading your diary than you could tell them yourself. , Bullies are less likely to bother you if you are surrounded by other people.
If you are in school, try to stay close to a teacher or other adult as much as possible.
Bullies are much less likely to act if someone with authority is nearby.As an autistic person, you may not have a lot of friends.
This can present challenges, especially if your friend has a different schedule than you do.
Explain the situation to your friend and ask if they can introduce you to other people who will be with you when they are not to provide "safety in numbers." Especially in a school situation, stick close by adults, even if you don't know them very well.
Teachers and other adults have a responsibility to monitor student behavior, and bullies will seldom act out against their victims when an adult is present.
In a work or extra-curricular situation, try to avoid situations in which you can be isolated.
For example, you might want to ask a trusted co-worker if they will go to the bathroom with you so you don't give the bully an opportunity to get you alone. , Your special interests are a powerful tool that you can use to make friends who will appreciate your skills and knowledge in spite of your differences.
These people can help protect you from bullies.Participating in a group also can enhance your self-esteem, particularly if the group revolves around something that you enjoy and have researched extensively.
If you have difficulty communicating, try to find a single person in the group who you can use as your "point person." Communicate to them and let them help you connect to the other people in the group.
When you make valuable contributions to the group, the members of the group will find you important and valuable.
This will make them more inclined to protect you and stand up against others who might try to bully you.
About the Author
Mary Thompson
Experienced content creator specializing in creative arts guides and tutorials.
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