How to Deal With Frenemies

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Confide in a true friend that you trust.

   If you're not sure whether or not this person is a frenemy, talk over your concerns with a friend you're absolutely sure about and happy around.
   
   This person may throw new perspective onto the situation that helps you to realize the value of your relationship with the frenemy.
   
   Be certain who you're talking to won’t pass your concerns back to the frenemy.
2. 2

   Step 2: Play it safe by ending the relationship gently.

   A sort of middle ground between quietly leaving the toxic friendship and confronting your frenemy is to kindly and gently suggest separating.
   
   If you’re soft in your delivery and stay away from blaming your frenemy, you’ll avoid dragging out a bad situation and carrying resentment later on.When gently ending the relationship, try saying something like: “While I care about you, I don’t think that we’re great for each other.
   
   I think it would be healthy for us to go our separate ways.” “I think it would be best for the both of us if we took a little time apart.” , If you aren’t someone who is comfortable with confrontation but you know that you’d like to cut ties with your frenemy, lessen your involvement with them over time.
   
   This way, you avoid the stress of a difficult conversation while still making a positive, healthy decision for yourself.Become subtly less and less available until they aren’t a part of your life any more.
   
   Don’t always respond to their texts right away and busy your schedule so that you don’t have time to see them. , If you’re typically comfortable with facing problems head-on, talk to the frenemy outright instead of carrying this burden on your shoulders.
   
   Avoid acting vulnerable or distressed; simply stick to the facts and express how certain things that have happened make you feel.
   
   For example:"I felt really put down when you suggested my costume was too tight for me in front of our dance class.
   
   Did you really mean to be so unkind?" "It really hurt me yesterday when you said I was too ditzy and easily distracted to be a good speechwriter.
   
   I know you think you said it in a joking and funny way but the joke was made at my expense."
   
   Being forthright about your feelings is basically calling out the frenemy and forcing them to either own up to their unkindness or deny it.
   
   If they deny what you accuse them of or become angry and refuse to discuss it, they most likely will not stop their hurtful behavior.
   
   Remember that if they have an angry reaction, you’re no longer interested in a friendship with them anyway.
   
   At least the truth is out in the open and you can begin focusing on the more positive relationships in your life. , It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or miss your frenemy at first, but let those feelings pass so that you can move forward in a positive direction.
   
   This is a good time to analyze who you are and what kind of friend you’ve been.
   
   Brainstorm the qualities you want in your friendships, and work towards being that kind of friend yourself.No one is perfect, so you may act like a frenemy from time to time too.
   
   Be honest with yourself and make necessary changes to ensure that your relationships are healthy and strong.
3. 3

   Step 3: Drift away from the friendship if you’re non-confrontational.

4. 4

   Step 4: Confront the frenemy if you want to be direct.

5. 5

   Step 5: Expect your frenemy to be surprised or in denial if you confront them.

6. 6

   Step 6: Grieve and then move forward.

Detailed Guide

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