How to Get People to Like You
Smile., Use a comfortable level of eye contact., Tilt your head towards the other person., Give a quick eyebrow flash., Mirror their positioning., Don't assert your dominance.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Smile.
The absolute simplest way to get people to like you is to smile genuinely.
People crave being around others that are fun and happy because it's contagious
-- you'll make them feel good just by being present.
Smiling is the first indicator (and the most obvious) that you are a person they probably want to be around.
Smile and you're in.
Remember, if you act like you are happy, you'll probably feel happier.
Don't force a fake smile
-- others will be able to detect it
-- but do know that if you're in not so great of a mood, sometimes faking it can fool your mind into feeling better. -
Step 2: Use a comfortable level of eye contact.
This one hopefully comes naturally.
Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to show someone you're paying attention.
When you're watching TV, you look at it, right? So when you're talking to someone, shouldn't you do the same thing? Too little eye contact can be seen as rude.
Where else are you looking at? What is distracting you? Why isn't the conversation at hand good enough to warrant your attention? If this is a problem of yours, simply be aware of it.
That's all you need to change it! Too much eye contact can make the other uncomfortable.
It may come off as you staring the person down.
If you're aware that intense eye contact is a problem of yours, make it a point to fidget once in a while.
Odds are the conversation also involves hands, food, or some other thing to draw your attention away
-- but only briefly! , The science behind this one is that evolutionarily, tilting our head exposes our carotid artery, telling the other person that we aren't looking for a fight.Somewhere in the depths of our brains, it cues us that the person we're talking to isn't a threat and that we can proceed comfortably.
Tilting the head avoids a "squaring off" stance.
It's softer, has a sympathetic flair, and tells the other that your focus is on them
-- something everyone absolutely adores to have.
So the next time you're unsure what stance to take, tilt away.
It's a catch-all, really. , This may be one of the non-verbal cues you're not even aware of.
So maybe you already do it! A common sign to show friendliness (and, again, that you're non-threatening) is to do a quick eyebrow flash
-- just moving them up and down slightly and quickly.
It's generally done upon approaching a person and can be seen from far distances.Combine this with a smile and you have the basic set up for any likeable, approachable human.
But keep the eyebrow flash to the initiation of a conversation
-- it's not something to be used at random intervals, like the head tilt may be. , If you find yourself in the same body position as someone else, odds are you're probably on similar trains of thought.You probably do this with those around you more often than you realize.
The good news here is that you can use it to your advantage! People like people who are similar to them, and this is one very easy way to do it.
If you're talking to a person and they're in a similar body position to you, you're likely to feel like they're on the same page as you are
-- and are thus understanding and relate-able (score).
Do this in conversation but don't draw attention to it
-- if it's too noticeable, it'll seem contrived and unnatural. , Many books you read will tell you to square your shoulders, throw your chin up, and always keep a firm handshake.
While these are definitely good ideas and have their place, in some situations you may not want to come off as strong.
Keep these confidence indicators, but throw in a few I-clearly-respect-you signals to even the playing field.
Whomever you meet, showing a little deference won't hurt you.
If you're meeting someone and about shake hands, step forward to them and lean in a little (alluding to a bow).
Tilt your head, keep an open body position (not always crossing arms and legs, namely), and lean to one side or the other.
Showing you're relaxed and interested in the other person will cue them to like you regardless of the conversation level. -
Step 3: Tilt your head towards the other person.
-
Step 4: Give a quick eyebrow flash.
-
Step 5: Mirror their positioning.
-
Step 6: Don't assert your dominance.
Detailed Guide
The absolute simplest way to get people to like you is to smile genuinely.
People crave being around others that are fun and happy because it's contagious
-- you'll make them feel good just by being present.
Smiling is the first indicator (and the most obvious) that you are a person they probably want to be around.
Smile and you're in.
Remember, if you act like you are happy, you'll probably feel happier.
Don't force a fake smile
-- others will be able to detect it
-- but do know that if you're in not so great of a mood, sometimes faking it can fool your mind into feeling better.
This one hopefully comes naturally.
Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to show someone you're paying attention.
When you're watching TV, you look at it, right? So when you're talking to someone, shouldn't you do the same thing? Too little eye contact can be seen as rude.
Where else are you looking at? What is distracting you? Why isn't the conversation at hand good enough to warrant your attention? If this is a problem of yours, simply be aware of it.
That's all you need to change it! Too much eye contact can make the other uncomfortable.
It may come off as you staring the person down.
If you're aware that intense eye contact is a problem of yours, make it a point to fidget once in a while.
Odds are the conversation also involves hands, food, or some other thing to draw your attention away
-- but only briefly! , The science behind this one is that evolutionarily, tilting our head exposes our carotid artery, telling the other person that we aren't looking for a fight.Somewhere in the depths of our brains, it cues us that the person we're talking to isn't a threat and that we can proceed comfortably.
Tilting the head avoids a "squaring off" stance.
It's softer, has a sympathetic flair, and tells the other that your focus is on them
-- something everyone absolutely adores to have.
So the next time you're unsure what stance to take, tilt away.
It's a catch-all, really. , This may be one of the non-verbal cues you're not even aware of.
So maybe you already do it! A common sign to show friendliness (and, again, that you're non-threatening) is to do a quick eyebrow flash
-- just moving them up and down slightly and quickly.
It's generally done upon approaching a person and can be seen from far distances.Combine this with a smile and you have the basic set up for any likeable, approachable human.
But keep the eyebrow flash to the initiation of a conversation
-- it's not something to be used at random intervals, like the head tilt may be. , If you find yourself in the same body position as someone else, odds are you're probably on similar trains of thought.You probably do this with those around you more often than you realize.
The good news here is that you can use it to your advantage! People like people who are similar to them, and this is one very easy way to do it.
If you're talking to a person and they're in a similar body position to you, you're likely to feel like they're on the same page as you are
-- and are thus understanding and relate-able (score).
Do this in conversation but don't draw attention to it
-- if it's too noticeable, it'll seem contrived and unnatural. , Many books you read will tell you to square your shoulders, throw your chin up, and always keep a firm handshake.
While these are definitely good ideas and have their place, in some situations you may not want to come off as strong.
Keep these confidence indicators, but throw in a few I-clearly-respect-you signals to even the playing field.
Whomever you meet, showing a little deference won't hurt you.
If you're meeting someone and about shake hands, step forward to them and lean in a little (alluding to a bow).
Tilt your head, keep an open body position (not always crossing arms and legs, namely), and lean to one side or the other.
Showing you're relaxed and interested in the other person will cue them to like you regardless of the conversation level.
About the Author
Frances Chavez
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
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