How to Get Through Tough Times
Acknowledge your emotions., Modify your thinking., Face your reality gap., Practice acceptance., Give gratitude., Be resilient., Practice spirituality.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Acknowledge your emotions.
You may want to ignore the painful feelings the situation brings up or pretend your feelings do not exist.
Recognize that by pushing your feelings away, you create more negative emotions.
It’s better to accept your feelings and work through them.
Don’t try to rationalize the way you feel; the only way to work through your emotions is by feeling them.
For example, if you lose your job, it’s okay to admit you feel angry, upset, fearful, and vengeful.
Set aside 15 minutes each day to feel your emotions.
Don’t let your mind interfere, just sit and feel what you feel.You can journal your thoughts and feelings.
Don’t be afraid to cry.
Crying releases negative chemicals from the body, and also helps relieve stress, lift your mood, and help you deal with painful circumstances. -
Step 2: Modify your thinking.
Try to view the situation as an opportunity to grow and improve.For example, try reminding yourself of how strong and resilient you are during tough times.
When you look at things from this perspective, it’s a lot more empowering.
If you didn’t get into the college you wanted to attend, your world isn’t over and you won’t lose your shot at having a career.
Remember that you have options and that positive things will come of the situation.
Try to keep your worries in perspective.
Try asking yourself, “Is this worry really that bad in the grand scheme of things?” If you are worried about something in the future, ask yourself, “How likely is it that this will really happen?” If you find that you are worrying incessantly, try choosing a “worry time.” At the beginning of each day, select a 15 minute time interval, in advance, when you can worry about your problems.
If thoughts of any problems try to intrude outside of the designated “worry time,” then remind yourself that it’s not “worry time” yet. , Often life gives you one option when you wanted an entirely different option.
The greater distance between what you have and what you want, the greater pain you may experience.Recognize that the reality you wanted did not come true, and you must now live in a different reality.
Instead of resenting your situation, acknowledge that you must adapt to your situation.
For instance, if you lack financial resources, don’t keep spending money like you did before.
Acknowledge that your spending habits may need to change. , Many things in life are out of your control, from the traffic on the highway to your boss being irritable at work.
Instead of getting wound up and irritated at these situations, take a breath and practice accepting what is out of your control.
While you cannot control the situation, you can control your reaction.
You can practice acceptance through meditation.
Write a list of all the things that are out of your control.
Then, close your eyes and slow your breathing until you are in a meditative state.
Imagine handing your list over to a higher power and letting those things go., Even in the most dire of circumstances, having a grateful attitude can provide a much needed perspective that widens your experience beyond your current pain.Even if you feel like you have lost many things, take a moment and acknowledge what you do have, especially the non-material things such as friendship, physical ability, or pleasant weather.
Set aside time each day to reflect on what you are grateful for: you may be grateful for your dog, your children, a beautiful sunset, a pleasant walk, or a much-needed phone call with your sister.
Take a few moments and express gratitude for these things.
Remember the toughest points in your life, then remember that you are right here, having successfully worked through those situations and the dark times.
You were able to endure that before, and you can endure this now. , Resiliency is engaging the process of adapting to changes, whether they be temporary, life-long, or crisis situations.
Look at the big picture and don’t see difficulties as never-ending.
They will end, and you will get through it.Resiliency doesn’t develop when stress is removed from life, it develops when you’re exposed to stress and have adequate time and tools to recover.For example, you may break your leg and not be able to walk for quite some time.
Resiliency means finding ways to adapt to your new situation-- like excelling at physical therapy to build up strength, and getting good with a wheelchair or crutches-- knowing that you as a person will prevail, even if your ability changes.
Reflect on past difficulties and what you gained from them.
Some people report feeling more confident in their abilities or having a deeper appreciation of life.Know that there is likely some lessons for you to learn through this experience. , Many people find spirituality helpful when coping with difficult events.Some positive spiritual coping methods include calling in support from a higher power, spiritual forgiveness, reframing the situation from a meaningful benevolent framework, and meditating on positive things. -
Step 3: Face your reality gap.
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Step 4: Practice acceptance.
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Step 5: Give gratitude.
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Step 6: Be resilient.
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Step 7: Practice spirituality.
Detailed Guide
You may want to ignore the painful feelings the situation brings up or pretend your feelings do not exist.
Recognize that by pushing your feelings away, you create more negative emotions.
It’s better to accept your feelings and work through them.
Don’t try to rationalize the way you feel; the only way to work through your emotions is by feeling them.
For example, if you lose your job, it’s okay to admit you feel angry, upset, fearful, and vengeful.
Set aside 15 minutes each day to feel your emotions.
Don’t let your mind interfere, just sit and feel what you feel.You can journal your thoughts and feelings.
Don’t be afraid to cry.
Crying releases negative chemicals from the body, and also helps relieve stress, lift your mood, and help you deal with painful circumstances.
Try to view the situation as an opportunity to grow and improve.For example, try reminding yourself of how strong and resilient you are during tough times.
When you look at things from this perspective, it’s a lot more empowering.
If you didn’t get into the college you wanted to attend, your world isn’t over and you won’t lose your shot at having a career.
Remember that you have options and that positive things will come of the situation.
Try to keep your worries in perspective.
Try asking yourself, “Is this worry really that bad in the grand scheme of things?” If you are worried about something in the future, ask yourself, “How likely is it that this will really happen?” If you find that you are worrying incessantly, try choosing a “worry time.” At the beginning of each day, select a 15 minute time interval, in advance, when you can worry about your problems.
If thoughts of any problems try to intrude outside of the designated “worry time,” then remind yourself that it’s not “worry time” yet. , Often life gives you one option when you wanted an entirely different option.
The greater distance between what you have and what you want, the greater pain you may experience.Recognize that the reality you wanted did not come true, and you must now live in a different reality.
Instead of resenting your situation, acknowledge that you must adapt to your situation.
For instance, if you lack financial resources, don’t keep spending money like you did before.
Acknowledge that your spending habits may need to change. , Many things in life are out of your control, from the traffic on the highway to your boss being irritable at work.
Instead of getting wound up and irritated at these situations, take a breath and practice accepting what is out of your control.
While you cannot control the situation, you can control your reaction.
You can practice acceptance through meditation.
Write a list of all the things that are out of your control.
Then, close your eyes and slow your breathing until you are in a meditative state.
Imagine handing your list over to a higher power and letting those things go., Even in the most dire of circumstances, having a grateful attitude can provide a much needed perspective that widens your experience beyond your current pain.Even if you feel like you have lost many things, take a moment and acknowledge what you do have, especially the non-material things such as friendship, physical ability, or pleasant weather.
Set aside time each day to reflect on what you are grateful for: you may be grateful for your dog, your children, a beautiful sunset, a pleasant walk, or a much-needed phone call with your sister.
Take a few moments and express gratitude for these things.
Remember the toughest points in your life, then remember that you are right here, having successfully worked through those situations and the dark times.
You were able to endure that before, and you can endure this now. , Resiliency is engaging the process of adapting to changes, whether they be temporary, life-long, or crisis situations.
Look at the big picture and don’t see difficulties as never-ending.
They will end, and you will get through it.Resiliency doesn’t develop when stress is removed from life, it develops when you’re exposed to stress and have adequate time and tools to recover.For example, you may break your leg and not be able to walk for quite some time.
Resiliency means finding ways to adapt to your new situation-- like excelling at physical therapy to build up strength, and getting good with a wheelchair or crutches-- knowing that you as a person will prevail, even if your ability changes.
Reflect on past difficulties and what you gained from them.
Some people report feeling more confident in their abilities or having a deeper appreciation of life.Know that there is likely some lessons for you to learn through this experience. , Many people find spirituality helpful when coping with difficult events.Some positive spiritual coping methods include calling in support from a higher power, spiritual forgiveness, reframing the situation from a meaningful benevolent framework, and meditating on positive things.
About the Author
Richard Robinson
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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