How to Help a Proud Person
Listen to the person., Approach the issue gently., Be careful not to pressure them., Don't put your own agenda on the person., Ask how he or she wants to handle the situation.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen to the person.
First and foremost, to help a proud person, you should really listen to them.
Hear them out and let them know you understand.
You can say, "I hear you, and I want to help." Sometimes when you notice a proud person is struggling with something, listening for the small cues that something's wrong can help you get a better grasp of the situation.Give the person your full attention when you listen to them, such as by putting away your phone and turning off the television.
Nod and make eye contact while the person is speaking to show that you are paying attention.
You can also try repeating a short phrase out of what the person says and then to show you are hearing what the person says.
Ask questions to clarify what the person says.
For example, if something is confusing to you, then try saying something like, “I’m not sure I understand.
Can you elaborate on that?” -
Step 2: Approach the issue gently.
After you have listened to the person and gotten a sense of what the person needs help with, then you might want to try to get the person to talk about it a little more in depth.
However, it is important to avoid forcing them to tell you more.
If you force it, they may not want to talk any more.
They may even become angry with you and stop listening to you.
They will then likely be further from the help they need than they were before you talked to them.Try saying something like, “It sounds like you have been having a hard time lately.
Do you want to talk more about it?” , Putting pressure on a person who is struggling can make them feel even less like seeking help.As you talk with this person, make sure that you avoid telling them what they “need to” or “should” do.
Instead, try to work with the person to help him or her come up with solutions.
For example, instead of telling someone, “You should apply for WIC to feed your family,” you might say something like, “Have you considered applying for WIC to help offset your family’s cost of food?” , You may want the person to change in a way that would be beneficial to you, but that might not be the best option for this person.
If the person gets the sense that you're trying to change them to what you want, they are likely not to listen.For example, if you think a friend should look for a better job because there is no chance for her to get a promotion, then you might consider why the friend might like this job.
Perhaps, she enjoys the extra time the job gives her to focus on her hobbies. , Asking about what the person wants to do will allow him or her to preserve his or her pride.
It will also allow the person to consider all of the options.
To encourage the person to consider the options, try asking questions instead of telling the person what he or she should do or think.
For example, instead of saying, "I think that's wrong" or "You can't do that," try saying "What if you did this instead?" or "Have you thought of trying that?" -
Step 3: Be careful not to pressure them.
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Step 4: Don't put your own agenda on the person.
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Step 5: Ask how he or she wants to handle the situation.
Detailed Guide
First and foremost, to help a proud person, you should really listen to them.
Hear them out and let them know you understand.
You can say, "I hear you, and I want to help." Sometimes when you notice a proud person is struggling with something, listening for the small cues that something's wrong can help you get a better grasp of the situation.Give the person your full attention when you listen to them, such as by putting away your phone and turning off the television.
Nod and make eye contact while the person is speaking to show that you are paying attention.
You can also try repeating a short phrase out of what the person says and then to show you are hearing what the person says.
Ask questions to clarify what the person says.
For example, if something is confusing to you, then try saying something like, “I’m not sure I understand.
Can you elaborate on that?”
After you have listened to the person and gotten a sense of what the person needs help with, then you might want to try to get the person to talk about it a little more in depth.
However, it is important to avoid forcing them to tell you more.
If you force it, they may not want to talk any more.
They may even become angry with you and stop listening to you.
They will then likely be further from the help they need than they were before you talked to them.Try saying something like, “It sounds like you have been having a hard time lately.
Do you want to talk more about it?” , Putting pressure on a person who is struggling can make them feel even less like seeking help.As you talk with this person, make sure that you avoid telling them what they “need to” or “should” do.
Instead, try to work with the person to help him or her come up with solutions.
For example, instead of telling someone, “You should apply for WIC to feed your family,” you might say something like, “Have you considered applying for WIC to help offset your family’s cost of food?” , You may want the person to change in a way that would be beneficial to you, but that might not be the best option for this person.
If the person gets the sense that you're trying to change them to what you want, they are likely not to listen.For example, if you think a friend should look for a better job because there is no chance for her to get a promotion, then you might consider why the friend might like this job.
Perhaps, she enjoys the extra time the job gives her to focus on her hobbies. , Asking about what the person wants to do will allow him or her to preserve his or her pride.
It will also allow the person to consider all of the options.
To encourage the person to consider the options, try asking questions instead of telling the person what he or she should do or think.
For example, instead of saying, "I think that's wrong" or "You can't do that," try saying "What if you did this instead?" or "Have you thought of trying that?"
About the Author
Christine Lewis
Experienced content creator specializing in home improvement guides and tutorials.
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