How to Promote Competency by Using Everyday Experience
Encourage growth by nurturing the desire to keep trying., Promote healthy attitudes about failure., Be objective., Draw on others' experiences., Use conflict as a lesson, not something to be afraid of., Collect stories, as a family, of people who...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Encourage growth by nurturing the desire to keep trying.
Competency is built by learning new skills and becoming better at the skills one already has. -
Step 2: Promote healthy attitudes about failure.
Failure can be an opportunity to show our metal—it requires courage, wisdom, persistence and transcendence—all shining virtues.
Not only does failure provide information about what does not work, it is also promotes character development.
There are many paths to encouraging competency.
Life is a laboratory, and opportunities for teaching attitudes that promote competency occur without warning. , Parents can prepare themselves to teach the skills by first by looking objectively at their own attitudes about failure and success.
Did you make a bad decision today? Talk about it, and what you learned from it.
Did you achieve something that took a lot of work? Talk to your children about how you did it.
Is there something going on in your life that hurts your ego? Show your children how you will deal with it in a healthy way.
You might even listen to their ideas about how to deal with it effectively. , In addition to using one’s own experiences, parents can draw from the lives of people they know.
Dweck’s book on Mindset is replete with stories about people we all know through the media who became successful by persistence and dealing with failure in healthy ways.
For example—did you know Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, was cut from the high school basketball team because he did not show adequate skill? His mother used it as an opportunity to teach the importance of “discipline”—developing mastery through focused practice. , Family conflict provides great opportunities to teach attitudes that promote competency.
Conflict quickly identifies the thinking style of its participants.
After the conflict is over, debrief and give people an opportunity to understand each other’s points of view.
Examine your own thinking out loud, and how maybe thinking differently about it might have led to a better outcome. , Look for “success stories” on the internet. , Cut out articles from the newspaper about people who persisted until they had a good outcome.
Invite people over for dinner who have faced and overcome challenges in their lives. , Rather than give your children advice on how to solve their problems, ask them about their plan.
Also ask them why they have chosen that particular plan.
Then just wait to see what happens—it may provide a good opportunity to discuss what can be learned from failure and success., Finally, there are many times when children are brilliant.
These are times to give feedback not about being brilliant, but about what they did to render such an amazing performance. “You practiced that piano piece over and over until you could play it with your eyes closed.
I’m so proud of your good work.” “Your brother was making a lot of noise and you didn’t even get angry.
You just kept focused on your homework.” “I like how you cheered for your teammates, even when they were so frustrated that they had difficulty playing well.
They must be glad you are on their team, just as I am glad you are on my team.” -
Step 3: Be objective.
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Step 4: Draw on others' experiences.
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Step 5: Use conflict as a lesson
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Step 6: not something to be afraid of.
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Step 7: Collect stories
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Step 8: as a family
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Step 9: of people who achieved competency by accepting the need to keep trying in spite of failure.
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Step 10: Collect quotes.
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Step 11: Find out how your children plan to fix problems.
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Step 12: Give feedback.
Detailed Guide
Competency is built by learning new skills and becoming better at the skills one already has.
Failure can be an opportunity to show our metal—it requires courage, wisdom, persistence and transcendence—all shining virtues.
Not only does failure provide information about what does not work, it is also promotes character development.
There are many paths to encouraging competency.
Life is a laboratory, and opportunities for teaching attitudes that promote competency occur without warning. , Parents can prepare themselves to teach the skills by first by looking objectively at their own attitudes about failure and success.
Did you make a bad decision today? Talk about it, and what you learned from it.
Did you achieve something that took a lot of work? Talk to your children about how you did it.
Is there something going on in your life that hurts your ego? Show your children how you will deal with it in a healthy way.
You might even listen to their ideas about how to deal with it effectively. , In addition to using one’s own experiences, parents can draw from the lives of people they know.
Dweck’s book on Mindset is replete with stories about people we all know through the media who became successful by persistence and dealing with failure in healthy ways.
For example—did you know Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, was cut from the high school basketball team because he did not show adequate skill? His mother used it as an opportunity to teach the importance of “discipline”—developing mastery through focused practice. , Family conflict provides great opportunities to teach attitudes that promote competency.
Conflict quickly identifies the thinking style of its participants.
After the conflict is over, debrief and give people an opportunity to understand each other’s points of view.
Examine your own thinking out loud, and how maybe thinking differently about it might have led to a better outcome. , Look for “success stories” on the internet. , Cut out articles from the newspaper about people who persisted until they had a good outcome.
Invite people over for dinner who have faced and overcome challenges in their lives. , Rather than give your children advice on how to solve their problems, ask them about their plan.
Also ask them why they have chosen that particular plan.
Then just wait to see what happens—it may provide a good opportunity to discuss what can be learned from failure and success., Finally, there are many times when children are brilliant.
These are times to give feedback not about being brilliant, but about what they did to render such an amazing performance. “You practiced that piano piece over and over until you could play it with your eyes closed.
I’m so proud of your good work.” “Your brother was making a lot of noise and you didn’t even get angry.
You just kept focused on your homework.” “I like how you cheered for your teammates, even when they were so frustrated that they had difficulty playing well.
They must be glad you are on their team, just as I am glad you are on my team.”
About the Author
Barbara Fisher
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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