How to Respond when an Intern Has Feelings for You
Decide how you want to respond., Discuss the situation., End inappropriate communication., Say that you are not interested in a relationship.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Decide how you want to respond.
The feelings the intern has may be flattering, threatening, or mutual.
It’s up to you to determine how to respond based on how you feel.
If you enjoy the attention or it’s completely harmless, let it go.
Some people enjoy playful flirting in the workplace as long as it does not affect job performance.
You may want to address the feelings or advances, let them be, or get someone else involved.
Consider the appropriateness of an intern/supervisor romantic relationship in the context of professional ethics and company policies.
Be careful how other people perceive your flirting.
Other interns or co-workers may begin to question whether something is going on and if they themselves are being treated fairly. -
Step 2: Discuss the situation.
How you handle the intern’s feelings is up to you.
You may want to meet with intern and let them know privately that their actions are not professional.
If that feels too confrontational or serious, respond back to comments in the moment to show that you’d rather not cross that line.
Find a way to communicate clearly that you’d rather not interact in this way.
You can say, “While I’m flattered, it would be best if you toned down your affections toward me.” For a more casual approach, say, “Let's stop with the advances, alright? I don’t need any gossip following me here.” , If the intern makes inappropriate comments, sends inappropriate emails, or communicates nonverbally in a way that is not appropriate for the workplace, put a stop to it.Communicate your desire for the actions to stop.
For example, if the intern is staring at you, say, “Is there something you need?” If comments seem to catch you off guard or shock you, have some responses in the ready.
Say, “That’s inappropriate,” or “I’m not comfortable with you saying that.”, If the person makes advances to you, don’t hesitant to state your feelings directly.Especially if the comments or advances make you uncomfortable, be direct and honest.
Say, “This is inappropriate and I am not interested in pursuing any romantic involvement with you.” Clearly communicate that you wish for the advances to stop and that feelings are in no way mutual. -
Step 3: End inappropriate communication.
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Step 4: Say that you are not interested in a relationship.
Detailed Guide
The feelings the intern has may be flattering, threatening, or mutual.
It’s up to you to determine how to respond based on how you feel.
If you enjoy the attention or it’s completely harmless, let it go.
Some people enjoy playful flirting in the workplace as long as it does not affect job performance.
You may want to address the feelings or advances, let them be, or get someone else involved.
Consider the appropriateness of an intern/supervisor romantic relationship in the context of professional ethics and company policies.
Be careful how other people perceive your flirting.
Other interns or co-workers may begin to question whether something is going on and if they themselves are being treated fairly.
How you handle the intern’s feelings is up to you.
You may want to meet with intern and let them know privately that their actions are not professional.
If that feels too confrontational or serious, respond back to comments in the moment to show that you’d rather not cross that line.
Find a way to communicate clearly that you’d rather not interact in this way.
You can say, “While I’m flattered, it would be best if you toned down your affections toward me.” For a more casual approach, say, “Let's stop with the advances, alright? I don’t need any gossip following me here.” , If the intern makes inappropriate comments, sends inappropriate emails, or communicates nonverbally in a way that is not appropriate for the workplace, put a stop to it.Communicate your desire for the actions to stop.
For example, if the intern is staring at you, say, “Is there something you need?” If comments seem to catch you off guard or shock you, have some responses in the ready.
Say, “That’s inappropriate,” or “I’m not comfortable with you saying that.”, If the person makes advances to you, don’t hesitant to state your feelings directly.Especially if the comments or advances make you uncomfortable, be direct and honest.
Say, “This is inappropriate and I am not interested in pursuing any romantic involvement with you.” Clearly communicate that you wish for the advances to stop and that feelings are in no way mutual.
About the Author
Jeffrey Martinez
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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