How to Stand Up for Others
Be assertive., Interrupt the harassment., Use caution in addressing the bully., Seek support when intervening., Alert others to ongoing bullying or harassment.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be assertive.
Don’t wait for a bullying victim to speak up and ask for your help.
They may feel too threatened to be able to say anything.
Try to take control of the situation and speak up for the other person first
-- they may be relieved that they don’t have to.Understand that victims in a confrontational situation may be stuck in a physiological “freeze” trauma response, a common reaction to extreme stress.
They may be paralyzed by fear and unable to effectively respond, making it important for a bystander to intervene.If you feel like speaking up can be hard, you’re not alone.
It can be hard for many people.
But often, when one person speaks up, more people will start to intervene as well.Be aware that you can help de-escalate some situations because of a real or perceived relationship with the bully.
If you share race, gender, or culture with the bully, the bully may be more willing to listen to you because they may feel they have something in common with you.
If you know the bully, you may also be more likely to be able to successfully intervene because of your ability to hold them accountable. -
Step 2: Interrupt the harassment.
When you see the bully harassing the victim, interrupt the bully by ignoring them and heading straight to the victim.
Fully assess the situation for safety before you intervene.
If you feel it is safe, you can physically get in between the victim and the bully to talk to the victim.
Do your best to remove the victim from the bully as quickly as possible.
Otherwise, get as close to the victim as you can.
Starting a conversation with the victim gives them the power to decide if they want you to intervene or not.As you assess the situation, look for any possible weapons.
Determine if the perpetrator is making physical threats, if the victim is injured, or if this is a possible sexual harassment or abuse.
If any of these are happening, immediately get local police and emergency medical services involved.
You can do this if you know the person or not.
The victim will likely be willing to play along in order to stop the harassment.
You could say, “Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” or “Oh my gosh, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages!” , In many cases, directly confronting the bully may not be the best idea, especially if you are concerned that they may physically assault you.
You could also end up becoming the bully’s next target.
However, while maintaining a safe distance, it is wise to attempt direct eye contact with the bully.
Be firm in your actions.
You can do this without speaking to the bully.
This will help you gain control over the situation as you cautiously approach the victim.
Using this approach will also allow you to have a detailed description of the bully if you need to report the incident to law authorities later.
However, if you feel confident that the situation will not escalate and that you will not become a target, you could address the bully if you feel comfortable.
Bullies often care about being popular and powerful, and calling them out might help take away their power.You could step in and say, “Leave him alone! Back off right now!” Be firm, loud, and stand your ground.
You may not feel brave, but you can pretend to be., Find someone in a position of authority who can help you deal with the problem.
This may be a supervisor, law enforcement, or someone who has more power than you do who is better able to solve the problem.Call emergency services immediately if you feel the situation is dangerous.
Tell an adult.
If you are a child or teenager, find an adult you trust to help you deal with somebody else being bullied or mistreated.
Adults can often use their power to deal with the issue without a bully ever finding out what happened.If you cannot find a person in a position of power to help you, gather other witnesses to help you step in and stop the bullying.
There is strength in numbers. , If you see bullying, harassment, or discrimination, speak out.
Tell someone and raise awareness, even if it didn’t affect you or you weren’t near the event when it happened.
Not saying anything will make it worse for everyone.Tell someone in a position of authority where you are seeing the harassment or bullying occur.
For example, if you are a student in a school, you could let your teacher know that a kid is often being bullied in an area of the school where there is not much staff supervision.
If you are witnessing harassment in the breakroom at work, you could let your supervisor or HR representative know so that another witness could be there.
If you are too nervous about speaking up in person, you could do it anonymously.
Some companies have ways to anonymously report employee wrongdoing (“whistleblowing”), schools may have ways you can report trouble anonymously, and many communities have tip lines where you can anonymously contact law enforcement to report trouble.
If you feel like speaking up can be hard, you’re not alone.
It can be hard for many people.
But often, when one person speaks up, more and more people start coming forward.
Sometimes it takes just one person to call out injustice, and then more people feel brave about coming forward themselves. -
Step 3: Use caution in addressing the bully.
-
Step 4: Seek support when intervening.
-
Step 5: Alert others to ongoing bullying or harassment.
Detailed Guide
Don’t wait for a bullying victim to speak up and ask for your help.
They may feel too threatened to be able to say anything.
Try to take control of the situation and speak up for the other person first
-- they may be relieved that they don’t have to.Understand that victims in a confrontational situation may be stuck in a physiological “freeze” trauma response, a common reaction to extreme stress.
They may be paralyzed by fear and unable to effectively respond, making it important for a bystander to intervene.If you feel like speaking up can be hard, you’re not alone.
It can be hard for many people.
But often, when one person speaks up, more people will start to intervene as well.Be aware that you can help de-escalate some situations because of a real or perceived relationship with the bully.
If you share race, gender, or culture with the bully, the bully may be more willing to listen to you because they may feel they have something in common with you.
If you know the bully, you may also be more likely to be able to successfully intervene because of your ability to hold them accountable.
When you see the bully harassing the victim, interrupt the bully by ignoring them and heading straight to the victim.
Fully assess the situation for safety before you intervene.
If you feel it is safe, you can physically get in between the victim and the bully to talk to the victim.
Do your best to remove the victim from the bully as quickly as possible.
Otherwise, get as close to the victim as you can.
Starting a conversation with the victim gives them the power to decide if they want you to intervene or not.As you assess the situation, look for any possible weapons.
Determine if the perpetrator is making physical threats, if the victim is injured, or if this is a possible sexual harassment or abuse.
If any of these are happening, immediately get local police and emergency medical services involved.
You can do this if you know the person or not.
The victim will likely be willing to play along in order to stop the harassment.
You could say, “Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” or “Oh my gosh, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages!” , In many cases, directly confronting the bully may not be the best idea, especially if you are concerned that they may physically assault you.
You could also end up becoming the bully’s next target.
However, while maintaining a safe distance, it is wise to attempt direct eye contact with the bully.
Be firm in your actions.
You can do this without speaking to the bully.
This will help you gain control over the situation as you cautiously approach the victim.
Using this approach will also allow you to have a detailed description of the bully if you need to report the incident to law authorities later.
However, if you feel confident that the situation will not escalate and that you will not become a target, you could address the bully if you feel comfortable.
Bullies often care about being popular and powerful, and calling them out might help take away their power.You could step in and say, “Leave him alone! Back off right now!” Be firm, loud, and stand your ground.
You may not feel brave, but you can pretend to be., Find someone in a position of authority who can help you deal with the problem.
This may be a supervisor, law enforcement, or someone who has more power than you do who is better able to solve the problem.Call emergency services immediately if you feel the situation is dangerous.
Tell an adult.
If you are a child or teenager, find an adult you trust to help you deal with somebody else being bullied or mistreated.
Adults can often use their power to deal with the issue without a bully ever finding out what happened.If you cannot find a person in a position of power to help you, gather other witnesses to help you step in and stop the bullying.
There is strength in numbers. , If you see bullying, harassment, or discrimination, speak out.
Tell someone and raise awareness, even if it didn’t affect you or you weren’t near the event when it happened.
Not saying anything will make it worse for everyone.Tell someone in a position of authority where you are seeing the harassment or bullying occur.
For example, if you are a student in a school, you could let your teacher know that a kid is often being bullied in an area of the school where there is not much staff supervision.
If you are witnessing harassment in the breakroom at work, you could let your supervisor or HR representative know so that another witness could be there.
If you are too nervous about speaking up in person, you could do it anonymously.
Some companies have ways to anonymously report employee wrongdoing (“whistleblowing”), schools may have ways you can report trouble anonymously, and many communities have tip lines where you can anonymously contact law enforcement to report trouble.
If you feel like speaking up can be hard, you’re not alone.
It can be hard for many people.
But often, when one person speaks up, more and more people start coming forward.
Sometimes it takes just one person to call out injustice, and then more people feel brave about coming forward themselves.
About the Author
Christina Chapman
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow creative arts tutorials.
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