How to Support a Transgender Male on Their Period
Offer him a chance to talk about how he's feeling., Give him a hug!, Tell him that his feelings are valid., Put yourself in his shoes (if you're not already in his shoes!)., Make menstruating sound more masculine., Try sharing positive stories about...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Offer him a chance to talk about how he's feeling.
He will most likely be feeling dysphoric, as he feels masculine but has to go through a monthly cycle that is considered "feminine." This can be traumatic and upsetting to go through.
Let him get it off his chest; you don't have to say anything if you don't know what to say, sometimes just lending him a shoulder to cry on can be enough. -
Step 2: Give him a hug!
A hug could make his day; everyone wants to feel loved and supported when they're upset or stressed out. , He may feel like he's being a nuisance, or that he shouldn't feel this way.
Tell him you understand, and that he has every right to feel upset and dysphoric. , If you're a boy, how would you feel on your period? If you're a girl, how would you feel if you started to develop facial hair? It's all the same; knowing your gender, but having to put up with characteristics of the opposite gender. , It may sound silly, but it can help him feel supported and validated as a guy.
It may also help him cope a little better.
Here are some ideas you can mention to him:
Underlining the "men" in the word "menstruation." If it says "feminine hygiene," black out the word "feminine." Have someone else do the shopping, if feminine packaging bothers him.This way, the box can be fixed for him, or the supplies can be placed in a gender-neutral box, before he has to see it.
Drawing pictures of men on the boxes of hygiene products.
Referring to his period with a masculine term, such as "Shark week" or "manstruation." Using gender-neutral language about menstruation.
Remind him that periods are difficult, and he's a tough guy for getting through it. , This can help him feel less alone, and remember that there are lots of other people like him in the world.
Try learning about trans people in other parts of the world together.
See if there is any media about men being on their periods.
This can help normalize periods as something that some men deal with, so he feels like it's less of a "girl" thing.
Tumblr has a tag devoted to guys who menstruate., Talking with other trans people, especially trans guys, can help a lot., He shouldn't wear anything too constricting, especially around the torso/waist.
Sweatpants may be a good choice., Being on your period can make you crave food anyway.
With the added misery of dysphoria, he must be starving and not feel like making food to take care of himself.
Give him his favorite food, if possible.
Maybe something sweet and sugary to release endorphins., Being on your period means you're losing more fluid than usual.
Encourage him to stay hydrated!, Hot chocolate is a good drink to have, if he likes it.
Coffee, tea, or another hot drink is also good.
Hot drinks will soothe his stomach cramps, and release endorphins to cheer him up a little., Heat can help relieve cramps, and being comfortable is good for anyone going through a rough patch.
Offer a heating pad if it'll help his cramps.
If he wants them, make sure he's got a blanket and a warm drink. , Lighten his mood when he's down.
Be a good friend! Tell jokes.
They can be really lousy jokes if you don't know any good ones; sometimes the bad jokes are best to laugh at.
Tell funny stories.
Try something like "Remember the time that I spilt my coffee all over my trousers and it looked like I peed?"
It's important for him to get the facts on caring for himself, from disposing of pads to avoiding Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Since most resources about handling menstruation are written for girls, you may need to do some searching, or research it yourself and then explain it to him.
Scarleteen has a gender-neutral guide to menstruation, which doesn't assume the gender of the reader., For example, Thinx has a brand of period underwear marketed specifically for trans men.Some people like menstrual cups., Movement and stretching can help reduce his cramps, because it relaxes the muscles that contract in his abdomen.
Clenching, holding, and unclenching the muscles in his torso may help reduce cramping. , Dysphoria can be crushing, and menstruating may make it even worse.Transgender people are at increased risk of depression and suicide, especially the ones who are not supported by their family/friends.
If you are seeing warning signs, contact the Trevor Project or Trans Lifeline for transgender-friendly support. , If for some reason he is not able to safely come out, he can begin taking birth control pills daily.
These will stop his period.
It will usually take a few months for his body to adjust to the hormones.When talking to the doctor, focus on how menstruating harms him, especially at work or school. (Does he miss days? Is it painful? Does he suffer from serious mood changes?) This emphasizes why it's important for him to get help.
Some doctors want a person to take birth control 3 out of 4 weeks, to see if that will fix things.
If this is only your option, do it.
It will lighten his period.
In a few months once his body has adjusted, come back and talk about any problems.
For example, some people get terrible nausea at the beginning of the week when they stop the hormones, and thus need to take these pills all the time.
The doctor visit might be very stressful for him.
He'll be afraid of the doctor saying no, and it may be necessary to misgender him for his own safety.
It's best if someone comes with to help.
Afterwards, it may help for him to relax by spending time with a loved one and doing something peaceful, like watching a movie. , Testosterone will stop his periods (although not immediately).It will also help him transition, and may help him feel more comfortable and content in his own body.
In the US, Planned Parenthood will prescribe hormones for trans people, even those who lack the resources for a psychological evaluation. -
Step 3: Tell him that his feelings are valid.
-
Step 4: Put yourself in his shoes (if you're not already in his shoes!).
-
Step 5: Make menstruating sound more masculine.
-
Step 6: Try sharing positive stories about transgender people (especially trans guys) with him.
-
Step 7: Help him access the trans community.
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Step 8: Encourage him to dress comfortably.
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Step 9: Make him some comfort food.
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Step 10: Make sure he drinks a lot of water.
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Step 11: Make him warm drinks.
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Step 12: Make sure he's warm and comfortable.
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Step 13: Keep him smiling.
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Step 14: Teach younger trans boys how to manage their period properly.
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Step 15: Look for products that minimize his dysphoria.
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Step 16: Get him to stretch and exercise
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Step 17: if he is able.
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Step 18: Take him to a mental health specialist
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Step 19: if needed.
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Step 20: Help a closeted trans guy get hormonal birth control.
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Step 21: Help him get a prescription for testosterone.
Detailed Guide
He will most likely be feeling dysphoric, as he feels masculine but has to go through a monthly cycle that is considered "feminine." This can be traumatic and upsetting to go through.
Let him get it off his chest; you don't have to say anything if you don't know what to say, sometimes just lending him a shoulder to cry on can be enough.
A hug could make his day; everyone wants to feel loved and supported when they're upset or stressed out. , He may feel like he's being a nuisance, or that he shouldn't feel this way.
Tell him you understand, and that he has every right to feel upset and dysphoric. , If you're a boy, how would you feel on your period? If you're a girl, how would you feel if you started to develop facial hair? It's all the same; knowing your gender, but having to put up with characteristics of the opposite gender. , It may sound silly, but it can help him feel supported and validated as a guy.
It may also help him cope a little better.
Here are some ideas you can mention to him:
Underlining the "men" in the word "menstruation." If it says "feminine hygiene," black out the word "feminine." Have someone else do the shopping, if feminine packaging bothers him.This way, the box can be fixed for him, or the supplies can be placed in a gender-neutral box, before he has to see it.
Drawing pictures of men on the boxes of hygiene products.
Referring to his period with a masculine term, such as "Shark week" or "manstruation." Using gender-neutral language about menstruation.
Remind him that periods are difficult, and he's a tough guy for getting through it. , This can help him feel less alone, and remember that there are lots of other people like him in the world.
Try learning about trans people in other parts of the world together.
See if there is any media about men being on their periods.
This can help normalize periods as something that some men deal with, so he feels like it's less of a "girl" thing.
Tumblr has a tag devoted to guys who menstruate., Talking with other trans people, especially trans guys, can help a lot., He shouldn't wear anything too constricting, especially around the torso/waist.
Sweatpants may be a good choice., Being on your period can make you crave food anyway.
With the added misery of dysphoria, he must be starving and not feel like making food to take care of himself.
Give him his favorite food, if possible.
Maybe something sweet and sugary to release endorphins., Being on your period means you're losing more fluid than usual.
Encourage him to stay hydrated!, Hot chocolate is a good drink to have, if he likes it.
Coffee, tea, or another hot drink is also good.
Hot drinks will soothe his stomach cramps, and release endorphins to cheer him up a little., Heat can help relieve cramps, and being comfortable is good for anyone going through a rough patch.
Offer a heating pad if it'll help his cramps.
If he wants them, make sure he's got a blanket and a warm drink. , Lighten his mood when he's down.
Be a good friend! Tell jokes.
They can be really lousy jokes if you don't know any good ones; sometimes the bad jokes are best to laugh at.
Tell funny stories.
Try something like "Remember the time that I spilt my coffee all over my trousers and it looked like I peed?"
It's important for him to get the facts on caring for himself, from disposing of pads to avoiding Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Since most resources about handling menstruation are written for girls, you may need to do some searching, or research it yourself and then explain it to him.
Scarleteen has a gender-neutral guide to menstruation, which doesn't assume the gender of the reader., For example, Thinx has a brand of period underwear marketed specifically for trans men.Some people like menstrual cups., Movement and stretching can help reduce his cramps, because it relaxes the muscles that contract in his abdomen.
Clenching, holding, and unclenching the muscles in his torso may help reduce cramping. , Dysphoria can be crushing, and menstruating may make it even worse.Transgender people are at increased risk of depression and suicide, especially the ones who are not supported by their family/friends.
If you are seeing warning signs, contact the Trevor Project or Trans Lifeline for transgender-friendly support. , If for some reason he is not able to safely come out, he can begin taking birth control pills daily.
These will stop his period.
It will usually take a few months for his body to adjust to the hormones.When talking to the doctor, focus on how menstruating harms him, especially at work or school. (Does he miss days? Is it painful? Does he suffer from serious mood changes?) This emphasizes why it's important for him to get help.
Some doctors want a person to take birth control 3 out of 4 weeks, to see if that will fix things.
If this is only your option, do it.
It will lighten his period.
In a few months once his body has adjusted, come back and talk about any problems.
For example, some people get terrible nausea at the beginning of the week when they stop the hormones, and thus need to take these pills all the time.
The doctor visit might be very stressful for him.
He'll be afraid of the doctor saying no, and it may be necessary to misgender him for his own safety.
It's best if someone comes with to help.
Afterwards, it may help for him to relax by spending time with a loved one and doing something peaceful, like watching a movie. , Testosterone will stop his periods (although not immediately).It will also help him transition, and may help him feel more comfortable and content in his own body.
In the US, Planned Parenthood will prescribe hormones for trans people, even those who lack the resources for a psychological evaluation.
About the Author
Dorothy Bell
Creates helpful guides on DIY projects to inspire and educate readers.
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