How to Date With Integrity

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Be open about your goals.

   Have a goal in mind when dating, and make that goal clear as early as possible.
   
   Whether you are looking to date around after a breakup or a serious mate with whom to raise children, state your goal on your online profile or discuss it in person by the third date if you are not sure the other person is on the same page.
2. 2

   Step 2: Be timely with communicating disinterest.If someone is not holding your interest

   Politely decline with a, "It's been wonderful meeting you and getting to know you better.
   
   I'm not sure this is the best fit though, and want you to be able to maximize your time finding someone who is right for you." If it has been a week after a date and no one has made contact, it is okay to let the communication simply die down. , This is the "Define the Relationship" talk, usually occurring 3-10 dates in, when one or the other person would like to make the relationship exclusive and stop "seeing other people." This alerts the other party of the potential need to become exclusive as well.
   
   Prior to this discussion and mutual agreement of exclusivity, both parties are free to date others without restriction or the need to even mention it.
   
   Afterwards, dates with others should be pruned off. , Don't promise that you will stop seeing others unless you are really going to.
   
   It is fine to say, "I like you, Jamie, and would like to continue seeing where this goes.
   
   I'm not ready to make this exclusive though." And it is then Jamie's right to continue the non-exclusive dating as before, or to seek someone who will be more ready for exclusivity. , It is important to respect the boundaries of your newfound relationship, which generally means limited physical affection towards others who you may potentially be attracted to (brief hugs are usually the limit).
   
   Also, work on your relationship so you can talk through problems and develop a close emotional connection.
   
   If you are spending more hours per week talking to any individual other than your partner who is not either family or an old, close friend, beware of becoming attracted to this other person and potentially betraying the emotional, romantic connection between you and your partner.
   
   It is fine to have casual friends of both genders, but if romantic feelings may potentially develop between you and a friend, try to limit contact with them to once a week or every few weeks.
3. 3

   Step 3: don't feel obligated to accept a second or third date.

4. 4

   Step 4: Do not assume exclusivity until it's made explicit.

5. 5

   Step 5: If you don't want to be exclusive

6. 6

   Step 6: just say so.

7. 7

   Step 7: Be exclusive with your physical affection and emotional intimacy.

Detailed Guide

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