How to Fight With Your Spouse
Have a goal in mind., One issue at a time., Use direct language., Avoid swearing if you can., Louder tone is acceptable., Allow your spouse to respond and gauge if they are getting the issue and the reason you are upset right now., Clarify what is...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Have a goal in mind.
What is the purpose of this argument? Each communication has a purpose and intention.
The purpose of an argument is clarification of boundaries and expectations in your relationship.
Keep your desired end result in mind. -
Step 2: One issue at a time.
The issue can be big, with multiple examples and manifestations in your relationships, or small, such as a one-time incident.
Make sure you stick to the issue you are arguing about.
Jumping from one issue to the next related issue will resolve nothing and only create tension and negativity in your relationship.
Remember the ultimate goal: resolution! , Speak your mind loud and clear.
After all, it is a fight. , If you cannot – make sure the target of your fury is the behavior or issue you argue about, rather than your spouse.
Never use offensive language toward someone you care about – ever. , However, if you are waking up the neighbors, you are probably not being effective in your fight, since you probably have lost sight of the desired resolution.
Anything you say can be said in an even tone of voice, and have a similar or greater effect. , If they do not, clarify until they do, and ask them directly whether they are getting it. , Explain how you would like the situation resolved. ,,, -
Step 3: Use direct language.
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Step 4: Avoid swearing if you can.
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Step 5: Louder tone is acceptable.
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Step 6: Allow your spouse to respond and gauge if they are getting the issue and the reason you are upset right now.
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Step 7: Clarify what is it that you want.
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Step 8: In case your resolution is not acceptable for your spouse
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Step 9: repeat what makes you upset at this moment and ask your spouse for solutions.
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Step 10: Repeat steps 7 and 8 until mutually acceptable resolution is found and agreed upon.
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Step 11: Make up and do something sweet for your spouse.
Detailed Guide
What is the purpose of this argument? Each communication has a purpose and intention.
The purpose of an argument is clarification of boundaries and expectations in your relationship.
Keep your desired end result in mind.
The issue can be big, with multiple examples and manifestations in your relationships, or small, such as a one-time incident.
Make sure you stick to the issue you are arguing about.
Jumping from one issue to the next related issue will resolve nothing and only create tension and negativity in your relationship.
Remember the ultimate goal: resolution! , Speak your mind loud and clear.
After all, it is a fight. , If you cannot – make sure the target of your fury is the behavior or issue you argue about, rather than your spouse.
Never use offensive language toward someone you care about – ever. , However, if you are waking up the neighbors, you are probably not being effective in your fight, since you probably have lost sight of the desired resolution.
Anything you say can be said in an even tone of voice, and have a similar or greater effect. , If they do not, clarify until they do, and ask them directly whether they are getting it. , Explain how you would like the situation resolved. ,,,
About the Author
Christopher Martin
Experienced content creator specializing in crafts guides and tutorials.
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