How to Trust Your Boyfriend
Evaluate why you don't think you can trust your boyfriend., Don’t jump to conclusions., Reflect on your past relationships., Talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling., Make sure you hold yourself to the same standard., Make an effort to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Evaluate why you don't think you can trust your boyfriend.
Before you make any drastic decisions about your relationship, it’s important to evaluate why you are having a hard time trusting your boyfriend.
If you plan to talk to him about your worries, you’re going to need to be able to identify why you are feeling this way.Is there something he has done that raised your doubts? Do you feel like he is avoiding you? Did someone else make a comment or indicate he was not trustworthy? Do you have evidence to support your concerns? -
Step 2: Don’t jump to conclusions.
Although it might depend on the reason that you don’t trust him, it’s best not to jump to conclusions that could jeopardize your relationship.
Instead of reacting to your suspicions, try to think calmly and rationally about the situation.Is there another explanation for your boyfriend’s behavior or your concerns? You want to make sure you get the story and your facts straight.
Has this occurred in your relationship in the past? What was the end result? If you have a good friend who usually helps you think things through, ask them for their input. , Before your make any assumptions about whether your boyfriend is untrustworthy, think about your past relationships.
If you’ve been cheated on or betrayed in the past, it’s not uncommon to worry about whether or not you can trust your current boyfriend.If you think these past relationship issues might be influencing your ability to trust your boyfriend, make sure he’s aware of where you’re coming from.
He will be better able to empathize with your situation, and you can both agree on how to interact with each other more effectively in the future.
If he’s not willing to be patient with your trust challenges or at least try and understand, then he might not deserve your trust.
If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel that you're able to move past previous trust issues, this might be a good time to speak with a therapist or counselor in order to move forward with your current or future relationships. , Although it might seem difficult, the best way to deal with a lack of trust is to address what’s worrying you.
Without being argumentative, accusatory, or negative, talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and your perceptions of his behavior.
Psychologists often recommend that you start a conversation with an "I feel" statement rather than a "You" statement.
For example, instead of accusing your boyfriend of betraying your trust, you can say "I am feeling hurt" or "My concern is that we don't have the same expectations in this relationship." Focusing on your feelings instead of his actions, at least initially, makes the discussion seem less confrontational.
As a result, your boyfriend will probably be more willing to participate in the conversation.Think about how you might feel if someone accused you of being untrustworthy, and do your best to be calm and listen carefully to what he has to say. , If you want to be able to trust your boyfriend, it is only fair that he be able to trust you.
Hold yourself to the same standard, and do your best to be open, honest, and trustworthy.
For example, If you don’t want your boyfriend to text other girls, don’t text other guys.
Similarly, it’s not fair to be upset if he doesn’t call you if you don’t keep your promises. , Feeling closer to your boyfriend will help you overcome trust issues in your relationship, so take the time to engage in meaningful conversation and activities with your boyfriend.
Plan activities where you have the opportunity to talk with each other and work together.
For example, take a cooking class or work on an art project together.
Participate in a sports activity, but make sure you’re on the same team.
The teamwork will strengthen your relationship, help you feel closer, and help you improve your communication skills. , While it’s normal to worry about whether or not you can trust your boyfriend or whether you trust him too much, sometimes our trust issues can become overwhelming and make it difficult to have a meaningful, lasting relationship.
If you are worried about whether or not you might have more serious trust issues, it can help to recognize some of the warning signs and ask yourself these questions:
Does your mistrust interfere with your relationships? Do you find it difficult to have friends or be intimate with people as a result of a lack of trust? Have your past relationships been intense, dramatic, or even violent? Do you worry that everyone around you is dishonest and deceitful even though you don’t have evidence this is the case? , If you are having a hard time pinpointing a reason why you don’t trust your boyfriend, you might want to consider where else these trust issues might be coming from.
Trust issues often emerge as a result of experiences and interactions early in life.
Here are a few common reasons that you might be having a hard time trusting your boyfriend or other people in your life:
People who have been mistreated, suffered emotional or physical abuse, or dealt with rejection in their life may find it hard to trust others.
If you have low self-esteem or feel you are not worthy of love and affection, you might struggle with trust in your relationships.
Traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, an illness, or a betrayal in a relationship can affect your ability to trust.
Certain types of mental illnesses can also increase anxiety, cause delusions, or generate feelings of paranoia that make trusting others challenging. , If you are struggling to trust your boyfriend or feel you might be experiencing more significant trust issues, work with a licensed mental-health professional.
They will help you explore your concerns, and can also provide support and treatment. -
Step 3: Reflect on your past relationships.
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Step 4: Talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling.
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Step 5: Make sure you hold yourself to the same standard.
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Step 6: Make an effort to strengthen your relationship with your boyfriend.
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Step 7: Recognize signs of more serious trust issues.
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Step 8: Consider where else these trust issues may come from.
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Step 9: Work with a licensed mental health professional.
Detailed Guide
Before you make any drastic decisions about your relationship, it’s important to evaluate why you are having a hard time trusting your boyfriend.
If you plan to talk to him about your worries, you’re going to need to be able to identify why you are feeling this way.Is there something he has done that raised your doubts? Do you feel like he is avoiding you? Did someone else make a comment or indicate he was not trustworthy? Do you have evidence to support your concerns?
Although it might depend on the reason that you don’t trust him, it’s best not to jump to conclusions that could jeopardize your relationship.
Instead of reacting to your suspicions, try to think calmly and rationally about the situation.Is there another explanation for your boyfriend’s behavior or your concerns? You want to make sure you get the story and your facts straight.
Has this occurred in your relationship in the past? What was the end result? If you have a good friend who usually helps you think things through, ask them for their input. , Before your make any assumptions about whether your boyfriend is untrustworthy, think about your past relationships.
If you’ve been cheated on or betrayed in the past, it’s not uncommon to worry about whether or not you can trust your current boyfriend.If you think these past relationship issues might be influencing your ability to trust your boyfriend, make sure he’s aware of where you’re coming from.
He will be better able to empathize with your situation, and you can both agree on how to interact with each other more effectively in the future.
If he’s not willing to be patient with your trust challenges or at least try and understand, then he might not deserve your trust.
If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel that you're able to move past previous trust issues, this might be a good time to speak with a therapist or counselor in order to move forward with your current or future relationships. , Although it might seem difficult, the best way to deal with a lack of trust is to address what’s worrying you.
Without being argumentative, accusatory, or negative, talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and your perceptions of his behavior.
Psychologists often recommend that you start a conversation with an "I feel" statement rather than a "You" statement.
For example, instead of accusing your boyfriend of betraying your trust, you can say "I am feeling hurt" or "My concern is that we don't have the same expectations in this relationship." Focusing on your feelings instead of his actions, at least initially, makes the discussion seem less confrontational.
As a result, your boyfriend will probably be more willing to participate in the conversation.Think about how you might feel if someone accused you of being untrustworthy, and do your best to be calm and listen carefully to what he has to say. , If you want to be able to trust your boyfriend, it is only fair that he be able to trust you.
Hold yourself to the same standard, and do your best to be open, honest, and trustworthy.
For example, If you don’t want your boyfriend to text other girls, don’t text other guys.
Similarly, it’s not fair to be upset if he doesn’t call you if you don’t keep your promises. , Feeling closer to your boyfriend will help you overcome trust issues in your relationship, so take the time to engage in meaningful conversation and activities with your boyfriend.
Plan activities where you have the opportunity to talk with each other and work together.
For example, take a cooking class or work on an art project together.
Participate in a sports activity, but make sure you’re on the same team.
The teamwork will strengthen your relationship, help you feel closer, and help you improve your communication skills. , While it’s normal to worry about whether or not you can trust your boyfriend or whether you trust him too much, sometimes our trust issues can become overwhelming and make it difficult to have a meaningful, lasting relationship.
If you are worried about whether or not you might have more serious trust issues, it can help to recognize some of the warning signs and ask yourself these questions:
Does your mistrust interfere with your relationships? Do you find it difficult to have friends or be intimate with people as a result of a lack of trust? Have your past relationships been intense, dramatic, or even violent? Do you worry that everyone around you is dishonest and deceitful even though you don’t have evidence this is the case? , If you are having a hard time pinpointing a reason why you don’t trust your boyfriend, you might want to consider where else these trust issues might be coming from.
Trust issues often emerge as a result of experiences and interactions early in life.
Here are a few common reasons that you might be having a hard time trusting your boyfriend or other people in your life:
People who have been mistreated, suffered emotional or physical abuse, or dealt with rejection in their life may find it hard to trust others.
If you have low self-esteem or feel you are not worthy of love and affection, you might struggle with trust in your relationships.
Traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, an illness, or a betrayal in a relationship can affect your ability to trust.
Certain types of mental illnesses can also increase anxiety, cause delusions, or generate feelings of paranoia that make trusting others challenging. , If you are struggling to trust your boyfriend or feel you might be experiencing more significant trust issues, work with a licensed mental-health professional.
They will help you explore your concerns, and can also provide support and treatment.
About the Author
Jason Phillips
A passionate writer with expertise in pet care topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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