How to Be Friends with Someone from a Different Subculture
To understand how to break the subculture rules, you need to know which subculture you belong to in the first place., Stoners., Now that you know what you are, eliminate all prejudice you have against people from other subcultures., Now that you are...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: To understand how to break the subculture rules
Here are a few descriptions; see which sounds most like you.
Punk.
Most people consider a punk to be someone who dresses in spiky, tough-looking, attention-getting clothing, in accordance to the fashion of the punk subculture, associated with punk rock, and listens to intense music, usually the aforementioned punk rock or one of its many offshoots.
Perhaps their hair is dyed an unnatural color, perhaps it is several different colors.
Whatever the case, the style differs depending on what specific punk sub-genre they belong to the scene of, and it's never hard to spot them in a crowd.
They may be teased for looking different, but it varies school to school and punk to punk.
Prep Definition
1.
Now, there are two definitions of prep out there at the moment.
This is the more traditional, polo shirt wearing type.
Preps tend to wear conservative but stylish clothing, from places such as Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, J.Crew, Tommy Hilfiger, Martha LeWren, and Brooks Brothers.
They are very polite, upbeat, and classy, though, because of their wealth, they can be mistaken for stuck-up.
Preps also tend to be slightly athletic.
Prep Definition
2.
This is becoming the standard for 'preppy' in most modern-day public schools.
These preps shop at Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle, and Aeropostale.
They may also have designer bags, and are generally looked upon as being ditsy and perhaps a little stuck-up.
They are not true preps like Prep definition 1, they are "stereotypical" of how they think a true prep would act.
They are like a knockoff"Our Version of Polo" instead of Polo Assn.
Company.They are not wealthy but middle class.
Emo.
Emo has recently become one of the most mentioned subcultures ever.
An off-shoot on punk, emos tend to wear dark colors, perhaps dye their hair dark, as well.
They usually listen to sad, slightly punk music, are very sensitive, and, yes, sometimes cut themselves.
Goth.
Goths wear mostly black clothing and tend to dye their hair black if this is not their natural color.
Both male and female adherents of this subculture wear dark eyeliner and nail polish.
The style of this subculture borrows much from punk, as well as fashion of the Victorian and Elizabethan eras.
The most common "mall goth"
would be wearing Tripp pants, or homemade pants with added metal, and listen to nu-metal.
Mundanes.
Normal people who don't really belong to a subculture.
They wear basic clothing that is not especially expensive or cheap, not especially trashy or modest.
They get decent grades, but not fantastic ones, and perhaps play a sport or two without being too-too obsessed with it.
The definition of 'normal' really varies from person to person, but they are generally average looking, and of average talent and intelligence.
Popular.
Generally very attractive, wealthy, and hopefully also smart.
It really varies school to school what makes a person popular.
Jock.
Jocks are people who love sports.
They can be either boys or girls, but either way, sports are their life.
Their grades and appearances are OK, but it's the sports fields where they really shine.
Nerds.
Like the definitions of popular, preppy, and normal, the definition of nerd may vary school to school.
Generally, they are smart(or otherwise very talented in one particular subject) and polite, but a little socially awkward and clueless.
Hip-hop.
These kids wear clothing from such brands as A Bathing Ape, Rocawear, South Pole, and various sports brands.
Some also wear Aeropostale, American Eagle, and occasionally Hollister: these ones generally also fit the second definition of a prep or jock, although the hip-hop subculture has been known to overlap with many others.
Their shoes tend to be Nike Dunks, Nike Air Force 1's, or Air Jordan's, although trendier hip hop kids also wear Converse, Vans, and Timberland boots, and those who skateboard may may seen wearing skate shoes.
Jeans can range from skinny to baggy on both genders and be from many different styles and brands, depending on what kind of hip-hop kid wears them.
They enjoy hip hop and R&B music like Flo Rida to the Gym Class Heroes.They can range from VERY loud to quiet.
Wiggers.
They are wannabe ghetto kids.
Like definition of Prep two. -
Step 2: you need to know which subculture you belong to in the first place.
They love plaid, skinny jeans and usually have longer hair.
They enjoy doing drugs and act very laid back and "chill".
They listen to everything from 60s music to 80s music.
There are many other subcultures out there! , Maybe you're 'normal'
and punks frighten you.
Tell yourself that they really are just kids like you with zits to conceal and homework to finish and families to bring glory to.
Maybe you're a jock and popular people drive you crazy.
Use the same strategy.
No matter what you are and what you are up against, remember what everyone has in common:
We're all human.
We all have problems, we all have our good points, and, yes, we all need to remember to put on deodorant (though striking up a conversation about that isn't the best idea!).
The mere fact that we all have minds, bodies, and feelings, gives us all at least a little common ground.
If you go to school together, chances are you're the same age, have the same teachers, and know a few of the same people.
Even the cruddy cafeteria food is a decent start for a conversation.
Besides that, you may have something more specific in common.
There are preps out there, both true and twisted, with punky taste in music.
Likewise, there are emos who secretly love the way they look in polo shirts (even if those polo shirts are over-sized and black).
You never know. , Talk about something basic and school-related that anyone your age would have something to say about, but don't be boring! Laughter is a good way to break the ice, so if you can add in a funny story or witty comment, great! However, with some of the more sullen, moody subcultures, this could be difficult, so don't feel too rejected if they don't respond much or are otherwise rude.
Perhaps they don't have the friend potential you thought they would. , For example, on My So-Called Life Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie seem very different, but are good friends, because they all feel different somehow, and that helps them relate to each other.
Perhaps, even though you and your friend-from-a-different-subculture have different outlooks on fashion, music, etc, you have similar outlooks on life, or a similar sense of humor. , Don't ignore the differences; trying to picture a prep in skater clothes never ends well; but don't get too hung up on them.
Just hang out and have fun. , Ignore them.
To be totally blunt, they're small-minded idiots and not worth a second of your time, energy, or brain space! -
Step 3: Stoners.
-
Step 4: Now that you know what you are
-
Step 5: eliminate all prejudice you have against people from other subcultures.
-
Step 6: Now that you are over your prejudice
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Step 7: strike up a conversation with someone from a different clique
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Step 8: whether they are someone you specifically wanted to be friends with
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Step 9: or you are just looking to broaden your horizons.
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Step 10: Think over that first conversation
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Step 11: to see if you have anything in common
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Step 12: however small.
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Step 13: If you think you and this person/people have friend potential
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Step 14: continue to hang out
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Step 15: maybe invite them over.
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Step 16: so it worked out between you two as friends; but
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Step 17: like The Fox and the Hound
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Step 18: people may be trying to keep you apart
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Step 19: or critical of your friendship.
Detailed Guide
Here are a few descriptions; see which sounds most like you.
Punk.
Most people consider a punk to be someone who dresses in spiky, tough-looking, attention-getting clothing, in accordance to the fashion of the punk subculture, associated with punk rock, and listens to intense music, usually the aforementioned punk rock or one of its many offshoots.
Perhaps their hair is dyed an unnatural color, perhaps it is several different colors.
Whatever the case, the style differs depending on what specific punk sub-genre they belong to the scene of, and it's never hard to spot them in a crowd.
They may be teased for looking different, but it varies school to school and punk to punk.
Prep Definition
1.
Now, there are two definitions of prep out there at the moment.
This is the more traditional, polo shirt wearing type.
Preps tend to wear conservative but stylish clothing, from places such as Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, J.Crew, Tommy Hilfiger, Martha LeWren, and Brooks Brothers.
They are very polite, upbeat, and classy, though, because of their wealth, they can be mistaken for stuck-up.
Preps also tend to be slightly athletic.
Prep Definition
2.
This is becoming the standard for 'preppy' in most modern-day public schools.
These preps shop at Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle, and Aeropostale.
They may also have designer bags, and are generally looked upon as being ditsy and perhaps a little stuck-up.
They are not true preps like Prep definition 1, they are "stereotypical" of how they think a true prep would act.
They are like a knockoff"Our Version of Polo" instead of Polo Assn.
Company.They are not wealthy but middle class.
Emo.
Emo has recently become one of the most mentioned subcultures ever.
An off-shoot on punk, emos tend to wear dark colors, perhaps dye their hair dark, as well.
They usually listen to sad, slightly punk music, are very sensitive, and, yes, sometimes cut themselves.
Goth.
Goths wear mostly black clothing and tend to dye their hair black if this is not their natural color.
Both male and female adherents of this subculture wear dark eyeliner and nail polish.
The style of this subculture borrows much from punk, as well as fashion of the Victorian and Elizabethan eras.
The most common "mall goth"
would be wearing Tripp pants, or homemade pants with added metal, and listen to nu-metal.
Mundanes.
Normal people who don't really belong to a subculture.
They wear basic clothing that is not especially expensive or cheap, not especially trashy or modest.
They get decent grades, but not fantastic ones, and perhaps play a sport or two without being too-too obsessed with it.
The definition of 'normal' really varies from person to person, but they are generally average looking, and of average talent and intelligence.
Popular.
Generally very attractive, wealthy, and hopefully also smart.
It really varies school to school what makes a person popular.
Jock.
Jocks are people who love sports.
They can be either boys or girls, but either way, sports are their life.
Their grades and appearances are OK, but it's the sports fields where they really shine.
Nerds.
Like the definitions of popular, preppy, and normal, the definition of nerd may vary school to school.
Generally, they are smart(or otherwise very talented in one particular subject) and polite, but a little socially awkward and clueless.
Hip-hop.
These kids wear clothing from such brands as A Bathing Ape, Rocawear, South Pole, and various sports brands.
Some also wear Aeropostale, American Eagle, and occasionally Hollister: these ones generally also fit the second definition of a prep or jock, although the hip-hop subculture has been known to overlap with many others.
Their shoes tend to be Nike Dunks, Nike Air Force 1's, or Air Jordan's, although trendier hip hop kids also wear Converse, Vans, and Timberland boots, and those who skateboard may may seen wearing skate shoes.
Jeans can range from skinny to baggy on both genders and be from many different styles and brands, depending on what kind of hip-hop kid wears them.
They enjoy hip hop and R&B music like Flo Rida to the Gym Class Heroes.They can range from VERY loud to quiet.
Wiggers.
They are wannabe ghetto kids.
Like definition of Prep two.
They love plaid, skinny jeans and usually have longer hair.
They enjoy doing drugs and act very laid back and "chill".
They listen to everything from 60s music to 80s music.
There are many other subcultures out there! , Maybe you're 'normal'
and punks frighten you.
Tell yourself that they really are just kids like you with zits to conceal and homework to finish and families to bring glory to.
Maybe you're a jock and popular people drive you crazy.
Use the same strategy.
No matter what you are and what you are up against, remember what everyone has in common:
We're all human.
We all have problems, we all have our good points, and, yes, we all need to remember to put on deodorant (though striking up a conversation about that isn't the best idea!).
The mere fact that we all have minds, bodies, and feelings, gives us all at least a little common ground.
If you go to school together, chances are you're the same age, have the same teachers, and know a few of the same people.
Even the cruddy cafeteria food is a decent start for a conversation.
Besides that, you may have something more specific in common.
There are preps out there, both true and twisted, with punky taste in music.
Likewise, there are emos who secretly love the way they look in polo shirts (even if those polo shirts are over-sized and black).
You never know. , Talk about something basic and school-related that anyone your age would have something to say about, but don't be boring! Laughter is a good way to break the ice, so if you can add in a funny story or witty comment, great! However, with some of the more sullen, moody subcultures, this could be difficult, so don't feel too rejected if they don't respond much or are otherwise rude.
Perhaps they don't have the friend potential you thought they would. , For example, on My So-Called Life Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie seem very different, but are good friends, because they all feel different somehow, and that helps them relate to each other.
Perhaps, even though you and your friend-from-a-different-subculture have different outlooks on fashion, music, etc, you have similar outlooks on life, or a similar sense of humor. , Don't ignore the differences; trying to picture a prep in skater clothes never ends well; but don't get too hung up on them.
Just hang out and have fun. , Ignore them.
To be totally blunt, they're small-minded idiots and not worth a second of your time, energy, or brain space!
About the Author
Kimberly Miller
Creates helpful guides on DIY projects to inspire and educate readers.
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