How to Be Supportive of a Friend With HIV
Educate yourself., Keep it confidential., Let them know you are there for them., Offer to help in specific, practical ways., Let your friend vent about the emotional aspects of the diagnosis., Direct your friend to support services., Encourage...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Educate yourself.
There are many myths surrounding the disease, and the first thing to do is understand the basic facts about HIV to best help your friend cope with the side effects:
HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, meaning it affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off disease.
HIV can develop into AIDS.
There is no cure for HIV, but scientists have developed medication that allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.
HIV is spread through sexual contact, needle-sharing, or from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy.
HIV cannot be contracted through normal day-to-day contact, insect bites, kissing, coughing, or sharing utensils. -
Step 2: Keep it confidential.
If your friend confided in you, it means they trust you.
Don’t break that trust by telling other people without their consent.
Your friend’s medical information is personal and private. , Understand what works best for your friend and try to help them out in the most natural way possible.
Don’t try to change too much in the way you interact with them
- remember that they are still the same person, and that the HIV has not changed them.
Start by asking “Do you feel like talking about it?” to let them know you are there if they want to talk.Don’t try to ignore the topic all together, because they may think you are ashamed to talk about it.
If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay
- don’t force it.
They may want to forget about it for a while.
Spend time with them doing things that you would normally do when hanging out together.
Take them out to the movies or plan a weekend of activities to take their mind off of it.
If they do want to talk, talk about the disease in an open and honest way.
Follow your friend’s lead.
Ask them questions to show them you are engaged and interested to learn more in order to help them throughout the process.
It may also help them to feel less self-conscious, ashamed, or embarrassed., Instead of saying “let me know if there is anything I can do,” which is vague and requires them to reach out to you first, try to pinpoint specific ways in which your assistance may be most valuable.For example, if they have to miss a day of class, take notes from them during lecture and bring it to them afterwards.
Offer them a ride to and from their doctor’s appointments.
Help run errands or go grocery shopping with them.
If you are still having trouble figuring out how you can help, ask them specifically what they could use; let them tell you what would be most helpful.
Try saying something like, “I have a lot of free time on my hands right now and I would love to help you out in any way I can.
Is there something I can do to take some things off your plate?” Keep checking in with them regularly. , The stress that comes with learning of an HIV diagnosis often manifests itself in a variety of different emotions, like anger and sadness.
Let your friend know it’s okay to let those emotions out.
Ask them how they are doing when spending time with them one-on-one, to give them the opportunity to talk on a more personal level.
Be a good listener.
Sometimes just being there for them to confide in is the best kind of support.
Be careful not to nag them about talking about their diagnosis, however.
If they don’t feel like talking about it, leave it
- they may want to get their mind off of it for a while. , Your friend’s diagnosis may lead to anxiety, depression, or substance abuse, in which case professional, outside help might be helpful.
Examples include seeing a psychologist or therapist, or signing up for a support group.
It can be hard to bring up the subject of therapy and counseling.
Start out by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been more lately, and I’m worried about you.
Have you ever considered talking to a psychologist?”If you’ve ever done counseling, it may help to share your own experiences about how it helped you to make them feel less embarrassed and scared.
If they agree to see a professional, the act of reaching out to a therapist might be the hardest step.
Try researching some support services in your area or seeing if anyone has any recommendations.
Then, provide your friend with a name and number of someone they could contact.
Just be sure to honor your friend’s privacy when you ask for recommendations., When HIV is caught early and a patient follows ART (antiretroviral therapy), it can keep the virus under control and prevent it from progressing into AIDS or spreading to others.Make sure they see a doctor and adhere to their medication.
It is important for your friend to take their medication every day, exactly as prescribed.
If they are forgetful, ask if you can help by giving reminders about medications and appointments, or offer to drive them to the doctor’s office., It can be hard having a friend with a HIV because you often feel very attached to their emotions
- when they are sad, you feel sad too.
The best way to support someone else is to first make sure you are in a good place personally.
Try to stay in tune with your own emotions.
If you are feeling run down, it’s okay to take a break from being with your friend and take some time for yourself.
Do not put the entire burden of supporting your friend on your own shoulders.
You are likely part of a bigger support system
- like your friends’ parents, siblings, and other friends.
Talk to them! It is likely they are feeling the same way as you and it can help to talk things out with them if you need to.
If your sexual partner has been diagnosed with HIV, you may need to think about getting tested yourself and make sure you are engaging in safe sex practices. , Many people have misconceptions about HIV and view the disease as disgraceful or taboo.
This may lead to your friend feeling isolated or ashamed of having HIV, even if no one knows about their diagnosis.
Remind your friend of all the successful people, such as famous actors or athletes (i.e.
Magic Johnson), who are living with HIV and have disclosed their status to promote awareness and break down the stigma.Help your friend find personal stories from others living with HIV from online blogs and websites.
These can be very comforting and empowering.In the case that your friend’s HIV status is public, they may be insulted, rejected, gossiped about, or excluded from social activities.
If you see this happening to them, stand up for them.
Remind them that the bullies are probably just ignorant about HIV.
Explain to the bullies, in a kind and patient way, that your friend has not changed as a result of the diagnosis and educate them about the misconceptions that they might have about HIV.
Set an example by spending time with your friend in public, or eating lunch with them at school.If you feel like things are getting out of hand or you can’t stand up to the bullies alone, don’t hesitate to involve a teacher or other adult who knows of your friend’s health condition.
Even if they don’t, you can still report the bullying without disclosing their HIV status., Telling people about their HIV status can be a nerve-racking experience, especially if they don’t know how others will react.
Offer to be there when they share the news with someone if it makes them feel more comfortable.
It will also give you the opportunity to provide advice to the other person on how they can be a supportive friend, as well. , Round up your friends and do it together.
Not only will it show your friend you care, it will help raise funds for prevention and awareness services in your area.
Again, in the spirit of confidentiality, don’t mention your friend’s name unless they say it’s okay. -
Step 3: Let them know you are there for them.
-
Step 4: Offer to help in specific
-
Step 5: practical ways.
-
Step 6: Let your friend vent about the emotional aspects of the diagnosis.
-
Step 7: Direct your friend to support services.
-
Step 8: Encourage treatment.
-
Step 9: Take care of yourself
-
Step 10: Help your friend deal with stigma.
-
Step 11: Be there for your friend if they choose to disclose their diagnosis with others.
-
Step 12: Honor your friend by making contributions to related charities or registering for an AIDS walk.
Detailed Guide
There are many myths surrounding the disease, and the first thing to do is understand the basic facts about HIV to best help your friend cope with the side effects:
HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, meaning it affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off disease.
HIV can develop into AIDS.
There is no cure for HIV, but scientists have developed medication that allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.
HIV is spread through sexual contact, needle-sharing, or from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy.
HIV cannot be contracted through normal day-to-day contact, insect bites, kissing, coughing, or sharing utensils.
If your friend confided in you, it means they trust you.
Don’t break that trust by telling other people without their consent.
Your friend’s medical information is personal and private. , Understand what works best for your friend and try to help them out in the most natural way possible.
Don’t try to change too much in the way you interact with them
- remember that they are still the same person, and that the HIV has not changed them.
Start by asking “Do you feel like talking about it?” to let them know you are there if they want to talk.Don’t try to ignore the topic all together, because they may think you are ashamed to talk about it.
If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay
- don’t force it.
They may want to forget about it for a while.
Spend time with them doing things that you would normally do when hanging out together.
Take them out to the movies or plan a weekend of activities to take their mind off of it.
If they do want to talk, talk about the disease in an open and honest way.
Follow your friend’s lead.
Ask them questions to show them you are engaged and interested to learn more in order to help them throughout the process.
It may also help them to feel less self-conscious, ashamed, or embarrassed., Instead of saying “let me know if there is anything I can do,” which is vague and requires them to reach out to you first, try to pinpoint specific ways in which your assistance may be most valuable.For example, if they have to miss a day of class, take notes from them during lecture and bring it to them afterwards.
Offer them a ride to and from their doctor’s appointments.
Help run errands or go grocery shopping with them.
If you are still having trouble figuring out how you can help, ask them specifically what they could use; let them tell you what would be most helpful.
Try saying something like, “I have a lot of free time on my hands right now and I would love to help you out in any way I can.
Is there something I can do to take some things off your plate?” Keep checking in with them regularly. , The stress that comes with learning of an HIV diagnosis often manifests itself in a variety of different emotions, like anger and sadness.
Let your friend know it’s okay to let those emotions out.
Ask them how they are doing when spending time with them one-on-one, to give them the opportunity to talk on a more personal level.
Be a good listener.
Sometimes just being there for them to confide in is the best kind of support.
Be careful not to nag them about talking about their diagnosis, however.
If they don’t feel like talking about it, leave it
- they may want to get their mind off of it for a while. , Your friend’s diagnosis may lead to anxiety, depression, or substance abuse, in which case professional, outside help might be helpful.
Examples include seeing a psychologist or therapist, or signing up for a support group.
It can be hard to bring up the subject of therapy and counseling.
Start out by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been more lately, and I’m worried about you.
Have you ever considered talking to a psychologist?”If you’ve ever done counseling, it may help to share your own experiences about how it helped you to make them feel less embarrassed and scared.
If they agree to see a professional, the act of reaching out to a therapist might be the hardest step.
Try researching some support services in your area or seeing if anyone has any recommendations.
Then, provide your friend with a name and number of someone they could contact.
Just be sure to honor your friend’s privacy when you ask for recommendations., When HIV is caught early and a patient follows ART (antiretroviral therapy), it can keep the virus under control and prevent it from progressing into AIDS or spreading to others.Make sure they see a doctor and adhere to their medication.
It is important for your friend to take their medication every day, exactly as prescribed.
If they are forgetful, ask if you can help by giving reminders about medications and appointments, or offer to drive them to the doctor’s office., It can be hard having a friend with a HIV because you often feel very attached to their emotions
- when they are sad, you feel sad too.
The best way to support someone else is to first make sure you are in a good place personally.
Try to stay in tune with your own emotions.
If you are feeling run down, it’s okay to take a break from being with your friend and take some time for yourself.
Do not put the entire burden of supporting your friend on your own shoulders.
You are likely part of a bigger support system
- like your friends’ parents, siblings, and other friends.
Talk to them! It is likely they are feeling the same way as you and it can help to talk things out with them if you need to.
If your sexual partner has been diagnosed with HIV, you may need to think about getting tested yourself and make sure you are engaging in safe sex practices. , Many people have misconceptions about HIV and view the disease as disgraceful or taboo.
This may lead to your friend feeling isolated or ashamed of having HIV, even if no one knows about their diagnosis.
Remind your friend of all the successful people, such as famous actors or athletes (i.e.
Magic Johnson), who are living with HIV and have disclosed their status to promote awareness and break down the stigma.Help your friend find personal stories from others living with HIV from online blogs and websites.
These can be very comforting and empowering.In the case that your friend’s HIV status is public, they may be insulted, rejected, gossiped about, or excluded from social activities.
If you see this happening to them, stand up for them.
Remind them that the bullies are probably just ignorant about HIV.
Explain to the bullies, in a kind and patient way, that your friend has not changed as a result of the diagnosis and educate them about the misconceptions that they might have about HIV.
Set an example by spending time with your friend in public, or eating lunch with them at school.If you feel like things are getting out of hand or you can’t stand up to the bullies alone, don’t hesitate to involve a teacher or other adult who knows of your friend’s health condition.
Even if they don’t, you can still report the bullying without disclosing their HIV status., Telling people about their HIV status can be a nerve-racking experience, especially if they don’t know how others will react.
Offer to be there when they share the news with someone if it makes them feel more comfortable.
It will also give you the opportunity to provide advice to the other person on how they can be a supportive friend, as well. , Round up your friends and do it together.
Not only will it show your friend you care, it will help raise funds for prevention and awareness services in your area.
Again, in the spirit of confidentiality, don’t mention your friend’s name unless they say it’s okay.
About the Author
Kimberly Mitchell
Kimberly Mitchell is an experienced writer with over 2 years of expertise in realestate. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Kimberly creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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