How to Become Friends With a Stranger

Say hello., Be ready to listen., Keep a positive attitude., Talk to strangers daily.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Say hello.

    The quickest and surest way to befriend someone you don’t know is to simply say hello.

    Approach a stranger that has caught your attention and say something along the lines of, “Hey, how’s the day going so far?” This alone can get a friendly conversation going.

    It will likely work best in a environments where social interaction is commonly expected.Most public places are usually fair game to approach someone and say hello.

    That said, be respectful.

    Avoid interrupting what looks to be a family meal, and don't bother someone who seems to be focused on work at the library.

    In some contexts, it may be best to first increase your proximity to those you’re interested.

    For instance, join a group conversation and listen in on an ongoing conversation.

    This will give you the opportunity to jump in and introduce yourself.

    Be sure to introduce yourself and ask for names.

    A quick, “Hey, I’m Derek, what’s your name?” is usually sufficient.

    Save your elevator pitch for networking events.

    You’re not going to make friends by telling everyone your business aspirations before allowing them to speak.
  2. Step 2: Be ready to listen.

    Often, people reach out to one another because they assume or hope that there will be a particular outcome.

    It can be challenging to keep our assumptions about someone from affecting how you interact with them.

    To help, focus on listening closely to people you’ve just met, as this will help you get an accurate perspective on who they are quickly.You’re more likely to find yourself in a budding friendship if you spend more time listening to someone than waiting for them to fulfill your assumptions about them. , If you run into someone that does not warmly receive a friendly “Hello,” don’t let this wreck your day.

    Remind yourself that most people are excited when someone breaks the ice.

    In short, don’t get jaded by someone who is terminally antisocial.

    When someone turns a cold shoulder to your attempts to start a conversation, note that whatever reason they have for doing so has nothing to do with you.

    They don’t know you, and they may have just missed their chance.

    Reach out to someone else instead., Plenty of people are hesitant, if not fearful, of introducing themselves to strangers.

    The best way to get over this shyness is to ignore it.

    While it may feel awkward, fight through your resistance and make a point of introducing yourself to someone you don’t know every day.This may be easier in places where you are comfortable.

    For instance, introduce yourself to someone in your apartment building or at the gym you go to.

    You already have something to ask about, such as, “Hey, which floor do you live on?” or “What routine did you start with to build biceps like that!?” Worst case scenario: someone isn’t interested in talking, and you leave them alone.

    You can handle that.
  3. Step 3: Keep a positive attitude.

  4. Step 4: Talk to strangers daily.

Detailed Guide

The quickest and surest way to befriend someone you don’t know is to simply say hello.

Approach a stranger that has caught your attention and say something along the lines of, “Hey, how’s the day going so far?” This alone can get a friendly conversation going.

It will likely work best in a environments where social interaction is commonly expected.Most public places are usually fair game to approach someone and say hello.

That said, be respectful.

Avoid interrupting what looks to be a family meal, and don't bother someone who seems to be focused on work at the library.

In some contexts, it may be best to first increase your proximity to those you’re interested.

For instance, join a group conversation and listen in on an ongoing conversation.

This will give you the opportunity to jump in and introduce yourself.

Be sure to introduce yourself and ask for names.

A quick, “Hey, I’m Derek, what’s your name?” is usually sufficient.

Save your elevator pitch for networking events.

You’re not going to make friends by telling everyone your business aspirations before allowing them to speak.

Often, people reach out to one another because they assume or hope that there will be a particular outcome.

It can be challenging to keep our assumptions about someone from affecting how you interact with them.

To help, focus on listening closely to people you’ve just met, as this will help you get an accurate perspective on who they are quickly.You’re more likely to find yourself in a budding friendship if you spend more time listening to someone than waiting for them to fulfill your assumptions about them. , If you run into someone that does not warmly receive a friendly “Hello,” don’t let this wreck your day.

Remind yourself that most people are excited when someone breaks the ice.

In short, don’t get jaded by someone who is terminally antisocial.

When someone turns a cold shoulder to your attempts to start a conversation, note that whatever reason they have for doing so has nothing to do with you.

They don’t know you, and they may have just missed their chance.

Reach out to someone else instead., Plenty of people are hesitant, if not fearful, of introducing themselves to strangers.

The best way to get over this shyness is to ignore it.

While it may feel awkward, fight through your resistance and make a point of introducing yourself to someone you don’t know every day.This may be easier in places where you are comfortable.

For instance, introduce yourself to someone in your apartment building or at the gym you go to.

You already have something to ask about, such as, “Hey, which floor do you live on?” or “What routine did you start with to build biceps like that!?” Worst case scenario: someone isn’t interested in talking, and you leave them alone.

You can handle that.

About the Author

E

Emily Watson

Enthusiastic about teaching home improvement techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.

38 articles
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