How to Bond with an Extremely Shy Person
Find any common interests., Be prepared to do most of the talking., Minimize social pressure., Gradually increase your social encounters.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find any common interests.
Use these common interests to help form a bond.
Discuss your common interests frequently and use them to make conversation when there is nothing to talk about.Once you find a common interest, try researching that topic in order to have more information to contribute to the next conversation.
For example, if you both have a love for music, consider asking the person what they've been listening to lately.
You might also want to invite them to a concert or open mic night. -
Step 2: Be prepared to do most of the talking.
It will take a while for them to warm up to you.
Even when they do warm up to you, they may not always have a lot to say during a conversation.
Accept that you may be the one doing the majority of the talking.Try to avoid small talk.
Instead of asking about the weather or their plans for the weekend, try something a little deeper.
The person may respond to conversations about topics such as personal values, morals, philosophy, and so on.
Avoid topics that you disagree on or that are extremely controversial.
As the person warms up to you, they may become more open to small talk or talking about themselves. , Don’t put them on the spot in front of a bunch of people.
Avoid asking them questions in large groups.
You should also avoid asking them to go to with you to a party, club, or large social gathering.
You should keep their social needs in mind when inviting them to new places.
Shy people usually don’t enjoy being around large groups of people.For example, if you and this shy person are out to dinner with a large group of friends, don’t say something like, “How was your day at work today?” in front of everyone.
If possible, try to have a more private, side conversation with the person. , Build your friendship slowly and gradually increase the amount of time that you spend together.
Shy people are often introverts who are overwhelmed by social interactions and need alone or down time to restore their energy.
Let them get to know you and build a personal bond before introducing them to friends or family.This isn't to say a shy person won't occasionally want to go out to a party or bar or crowded place, but it is likely they won't want to stay there all night.
They may also not be interested in hanging out multiple days in a row — if they are introverted, they will need time to themselves to decompress and recharge.
Don’t spend the whole day with them.
Shy people like to have some alone time.
Instead, invite them to a quiet coffee shop or on a walk in the park. -
Step 3: Minimize social pressure.
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Step 4: Gradually increase your social encounters.
Detailed Guide
Use these common interests to help form a bond.
Discuss your common interests frequently and use them to make conversation when there is nothing to talk about.Once you find a common interest, try researching that topic in order to have more information to contribute to the next conversation.
For example, if you both have a love for music, consider asking the person what they've been listening to lately.
You might also want to invite them to a concert or open mic night.
It will take a while for them to warm up to you.
Even when they do warm up to you, they may not always have a lot to say during a conversation.
Accept that you may be the one doing the majority of the talking.Try to avoid small talk.
Instead of asking about the weather or their plans for the weekend, try something a little deeper.
The person may respond to conversations about topics such as personal values, morals, philosophy, and so on.
Avoid topics that you disagree on or that are extremely controversial.
As the person warms up to you, they may become more open to small talk or talking about themselves. , Don’t put them on the spot in front of a bunch of people.
Avoid asking them questions in large groups.
You should also avoid asking them to go to with you to a party, club, or large social gathering.
You should keep their social needs in mind when inviting them to new places.
Shy people usually don’t enjoy being around large groups of people.For example, if you and this shy person are out to dinner with a large group of friends, don’t say something like, “How was your day at work today?” in front of everyone.
If possible, try to have a more private, side conversation with the person. , Build your friendship slowly and gradually increase the amount of time that you spend together.
Shy people are often introverts who are overwhelmed by social interactions and need alone or down time to restore their energy.
Let them get to know you and build a personal bond before introducing them to friends or family.This isn't to say a shy person won't occasionally want to go out to a party or bar or crowded place, but it is likely they won't want to stay there all night.
They may also not be interested in hanging out multiple days in a row — if they are introverted, they will need time to themselves to decompress and recharge.
Don’t spend the whole day with them.
Shy people like to have some alone time.
Instead, invite them to a quiet coffee shop or on a walk in the park.
About the Author
Nicholas Richardson
Committed to making DIY projects accessible and understandable for everyone.
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