How to Cheer Up a Friend
Listen to your friend., Ask open-ended questions., Spend time with your friend., Give physical comfort., Learn to empathize, not sympathize., Make life easier for her., Send her gifts.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen to your friend.
Listening is one of the most important things you can do for someone who is hurting.
Active listening shows that you care about your friend and he or she is being heard.
Often, intently listening is more valuable than any other gesture.When you're really listening make sure that there are no other distractions.
This means don't check your phone, don't try to talk to other people.
Try to make eye contact with her while she's talking.
You don't need to stare, but eye contact shows that you're paying attention and that you're engaged.
It's also a good way to avoid being distracted.
Let her know you can be the person she can call any time of day or night.
Sometimes friends will lean on you, other times you will lean on them.
Being a friend means being available, even when it's inconvenient. -
Step 2: Ask open-ended questions.
Instead of jumping in with your feelings, perceptions and experiences, ask questions about your friend's experience.
When your friend talks about her break-up, for example, ask her about what she's feeling and what she needs from you.
Instead of asking, "Are you sad?"
consider asking "What emotions are you feeling?" and "Is there anything I can do to help you?". , When people are sad, it's easy to want to crawl into a cave and want to be alone.
But humans function better when social needs are met.
Too much isolation can cause mental and physical breakdown.Think about enjoyable experiences that you can have together.
Being there physically for your friend and engaging in fun activities will help bring cheer to your friend.
Offer to come over and hang out, watch a movie, or get food together.
Any way that you can spend quality time together is beneficial. , Touching is a language all its own and it can be used to convey the idea that you are there for your friend, that your friend is safe with you.
It's good to check in with your friend before you offer physical comfort, because she may not appreciate touch.A hug can be truly important and healing.
If your friend is upset, especially if she's feeling highly emotional, a hug or even a touch on her arm can send the signal that you are here for her and that she is safe.
If your friend is uncomfortable with touch, bring your dog over or encourage your friend to cuddle with her cat.
Animals can be very comforting and many people feel safe petting a dog or cat. , Sympathy is about feeling sorry for someone, rather than feeling pain with your friend.
You want to feel what your friend is feeling and let her know that you're engaging in their pain with her.For example: say your friend Mary recently lost her husband.
Sympathy would be saying "Poor Mary.
I feel so sorry for you for losing your husband." Empathy, on the other hand, would be saying "Oh Mary, I feel your pain about losing your husband and how much you loved him."
When a friend is experiencing something that hurts her deeply, it can be difficult to do even the most basic activities.
Let her know that you're here to help by taking on some of those tasks and making life easier for her.
You can offer to cook meals, or help clean the house.
Housework, especially, has a tendency to fall by the wayside when someone is upset.
You can offer to go shopping, or drive her to a doctor's appointment.
Think about ways to help that will be most helpful to your friend and bring her some cheer.
Always ask your friend how you can help instead of assuming that something will make her feel better.
Don't make assumptions when you are there to help. , Who doesn't cheer up even a little when given a gift? This can help your friend remember that people still care.
You can't always be physically present for you friend, but you can make sure that she doesn't feel like she's suffering alone.
Bake her favorite cookies and mail them to your friend with a note telling them how much you care for her.
Pick up something that reminds you of her and send it with a card.
Send her little things to make her laugh: a funny card, a funny story about something you saw, pictures of the two of you doing silly things from a long time ago.
Keep it light and think about what will make your friend smile. -
Step 3: Spend time with your friend.
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Step 4: Give physical comfort.
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Step 5: Learn to empathize
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Step 6: not sympathize.
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Step 7: Make life easier for her.
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Step 8: Send her gifts.
Detailed Guide
Listening is one of the most important things you can do for someone who is hurting.
Active listening shows that you care about your friend and he or she is being heard.
Often, intently listening is more valuable than any other gesture.When you're really listening make sure that there are no other distractions.
This means don't check your phone, don't try to talk to other people.
Try to make eye contact with her while she's talking.
You don't need to stare, but eye contact shows that you're paying attention and that you're engaged.
It's also a good way to avoid being distracted.
Let her know you can be the person she can call any time of day or night.
Sometimes friends will lean on you, other times you will lean on them.
Being a friend means being available, even when it's inconvenient.
Instead of jumping in with your feelings, perceptions and experiences, ask questions about your friend's experience.
When your friend talks about her break-up, for example, ask her about what she's feeling and what she needs from you.
Instead of asking, "Are you sad?"
consider asking "What emotions are you feeling?" and "Is there anything I can do to help you?". , When people are sad, it's easy to want to crawl into a cave and want to be alone.
But humans function better when social needs are met.
Too much isolation can cause mental and physical breakdown.Think about enjoyable experiences that you can have together.
Being there physically for your friend and engaging in fun activities will help bring cheer to your friend.
Offer to come over and hang out, watch a movie, or get food together.
Any way that you can spend quality time together is beneficial. , Touching is a language all its own and it can be used to convey the idea that you are there for your friend, that your friend is safe with you.
It's good to check in with your friend before you offer physical comfort, because she may not appreciate touch.A hug can be truly important and healing.
If your friend is upset, especially if she's feeling highly emotional, a hug or even a touch on her arm can send the signal that you are here for her and that she is safe.
If your friend is uncomfortable with touch, bring your dog over or encourage your friend to cuddle with her cat.
Animals can be very comforting and many people feel safe petting a dog or cat. , Sympathy is about feeling sorry for someone, rather than feeling pain with your friend.
You want to feel what your friend is feeling and let her know that you're engaging in their pain with her.For example: say your friend Mary recently lost her husband.
Sympathy would be saying "Poor Mary.
I feel so sorry for you for losing your husband." Empathy, on the other hand, would be saying "Oh Mary, I feel your pain about losing your husband and how much you loved him."
When a friend is experiencing something that hurts her deeply, it can be difficult to do even the most basic activities.
Let her know that you're here to help by taking on some of those tasks and making life easier for her.
You can offer to cook meals, or help clean the house.
Housework, especially, has a tendency to fall by the wayside when someone is upset.
You can offer to go shopping, or drive her to a doctor's appointment.
Think about ways to help that will be most helpful to your friend and bring her some cheer.
Always ask your friend how you can help instead of assuming that something will make her feel better.
Don't make assumptions when you are there to help. , Who doesn't cheer up even a little when given a gift? This can help your friend remember that people still care.
You can't always be physically present for you friend, but you can make sure that she doesn't feel like she's suffering alone.
Bake her favorite cookies and mail them to your friend with a note telling them how much you care for her.
Pick up something that reminds you of her and send it with a card.
Send her little things to make her laugh: a funny card, a funny story about something you saw, pictures of the two of you doing silly things from a long time ago.
Keep it light and think about what will make your friend smile.
About the Author
Marilyn Clark
Marilyn Clark is an experienced writer with over 8 years of expertise in non profit. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Marilyn creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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