How to Comfort Your Friend
Gauge how upset your friend is., Find out what’s wrong., Give your friend a hug., Let your friend vent., Just listen.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Gauge how upset your friend is.
Comfort your friend according to how upset they seem to be.
If they seem to be very troubled, it may take more effort on your part to help them.
If something is bothering them, but they aren’t too upset, be there for them without overreacting.
You might upset your friend further if you overreact or under-react to their problem, so use their behavior as your guide for how to proceed. -
Step 2: Find out what’s wrong.
Before you say anything, try to figure out what the problem is.
This will help you know what to say and what not to say.
If you try to talk to your friend without knowing the situation first, you could end up with your foot in your mouth.Say something like, “What’s going on?” or, “Do you want to tell me what happened?” If your friend is too upset to talk, don’t push them for an explanation.
Just stay with them until they calm down.
Your presence will be comforting, even if you don’t say much. , A kind touch will do wonders for your friend, even if you don’t know what they’re upset about.
You can also put your arm around your friend or pat them gently on the shoulder.If your friend doesn’t like hugs, don’t force one.
Just sit near them and keep them company. , If your friend needs to get their sadness or anger out, let them.
Pay attention and don’t interrupt.
Encourage them to express themselves fully.For instance, you could say, “Tell me more about that,” or, “How does that make you feel?” , Your friend needs someone to listen compassionately to them right now, so focus on doing that.
Be patient and non-judgmental.
Encourage them to keep talking as long as they need to.
Don’t act bored or try to change the subject.Put your phone on silent mode so you and your friend won’t be interrupted.
If you need to get to an appointment or you’re not in a good environment to talk, gently let your friend know by saying something like, “I think we should talk somewhere else,” or, “Can we continue this later? I need to go somewhere, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Make sure your friend understands that you really do want to listen to them. -
Step 3: Give your friend a hug.
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Step 4: Let your friend vent.
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Step 5: Just listen.
Detailed Guide
Comfort your friend according to how upset they seem to be.
If they seem to be very troubled, it may take more effort on your part to help them.
If something is bothering them, but they aren’t too upset, be there for them without overreacting.
You might upset your friend further if you overreact or under-react to their problem, so use their behavior as your guide for how to proceed.
Before you say anything, try to figure out what the problem is.
This will help you know what to say and what not to say.
If you try to talk to your friend without knowing the situation first, you could end up with your foot in your mouth.Say something like, “What’s going on?” or, “Do you want to tell me what happened?” If your friend is too upset to talk, don’t push them for an explanation.
Just stay with them until they calm down.
Your presence will be comforting, even if you don’t say much. , A kind touch will do wonders for your friend, even if you don’t know what they’re upset about.
You can also put your arm around your friend or pat them gently on the shoulder.If your friend doesn’t like hugs, don’t force one.
Just sit near them and keep them company. , If your friend needs to get their sadness or anger out, let them.
Pay attention and don’t interrupt.
Encourage them to express themselves fully.For instance, you could say, “Tell me more about that,” or, “How does that make you feel?” , Your friend needs someone to listen compassionately to them right now, so focus on doing that.
Be patient and non-judgmental.
Encourage them to keep talking as long as they need to.
Don’t act bored or try to change the subject.Put your phone on silent mode so you and your friend won’t be interrupted.
If you need to get to an appointment or you’re not in a good environment to talk, gently let your friend know by saying something like, “I think we should talk somewhere else,” or, “Can we continue this later? I need to go somewhere, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Make sure your friend understands that you really do want to listen to them.
About the Author
Kathryn Harris
Writer and educator with a focus on practical cooking knowledge.
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