How to Compliment a Guy
Be sincere., Use appropriate timing., Smile at him., Keep your compliments quick and concise., Treat him like you’d treat any other human being.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be sincere.
Compliments don't have any worth other than what we give them — they're not things to be exchanged for favors, used to flatter people we need to like us, or given out for no reason.
Compliments are only meaningful when the person giving the compliment truly believes in them.
Giving a fake compliment is a white lie at best and, at worst, can be seriously harmful, so don't do it.
For example, let's say that a guy friend has just gotten off stage after bombing at the talent show.
If might at first seem like a good idea to lift his spirits with a fake compliment like, "Wow! That was amazing! Great job!" However, since he probably knows that he didn't do well, this may make him feel even worse.
In this case, it's probably best to go with a sincere option like "Hey, don't worry.
You'll nail it next time." Study of the brain shows that we use the patterns and stresses of speech to distinguish white lies from truth more so than non-spoken cues.
If you're not being sincere, the guy will hear it in your voice., Most of the time, gracious compliments will be greatly appreciated.
However, it's not always appropriate to give compliments — doing so at inopportune times can be slightly embarrassing at best (and a major faux pas at worst).
Below are just a few examples of times when you won't want to give a guy a compliment, or at least will want to keep your compliment short and polite:
At solemn occasions (funerals, memorials, etc.) After he's just been embarrassed When his jealous significant other is around When he's concentrating on something difficult It's worth being aware that some guys can get embarrassed if they receive a compliment (especially a romantic one) when they're in front of their friends.
In this case, since the guy is worried about saving face in front of his buddies, your compliment may have the opposite effect as you intended. , Nothing spells sincerity like a smile! For some guys (especially those who are attracted to you), the simple pleasure of seeing your smile can be a compliment in itself! Even if you have no romantic intentions and you're just happy for your guy friend, a natural, warm smile will make your compliment much more meaningful than one given with a deadpan or gloomy expression.
Smiles are simple means to validate someone; When you smile at someone you help to let them know things are okay., When it comes to giving compliments, short is always sweet! Don't ramble on about how nice the guy you're complimenting is, how great his hair is, and so on.
Focus on one action or aspect of the guy that you find nice, make your compliment, then carry on as normal.
Remember: the more compliments you give, the less memorable each compliment will be.
Long strings of compliments can sometimes give the impression that you have an obsession or crush on the person you're complimenting.
Even if this is true, try to avoid it! For example, consider which of the following is likely to win your crush's affection: "Hey, Dave, you look great! Have you been working out?" or "Hey, Dave, you look great! Have you been working out? I noticed that your biceps looked a little bigger.
They go really well with your smile.
You have fantastic teeth, by the way.
They're almost as white as the paint on your car, which, in my opinion, was a really smart color choice..." American compliments tend to be considerably shorter than other cultures.Length of a proper compliment varies by culture., When in doubt, abide by the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."In other words, compliment him the way you would want him to compliment you.
Remember, no matter how dreamy or intimidating this guy may seem, he's just an ordinary human being like you.
There are things he worries about every day, things he's not good at, and ways that he's not perfect, just like you! So don't be afraid to approach him and give him a compliment when it's appropriate — there's a decent chance he might even be more bashful about it than you. -
Step 2: Use appropriate timing.
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Step 3: Smile at him.
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Step 4: Keep your compliments quick and concise.
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Step 5: Treat him like you’d treat any other human being.
Detailed Guide
Compliments don't have any worth other than what we give them — they're not things to be exchanged for favors, used to flatter people we need to like us, or given out for no reason.
Compliments are only meaningful when the person giving the compliment truly believes in them.
Giving a fake compliment is a white lie at best and, at worst, can be seriously harmful, so don't do it.
For example, let's say that a guy friend has just gotten off stage after bombing at the talent show.
If might at first seem like a good idea to lift his spirits with a fake compliment like, "Wow! That was amazing! Great job!" However, since he probably knows that he didn't do well, this may make him feel even worse.
In this case, it's probably best to go with a sincere option like "Hey, don't worry.
You'll nail it next time." Study of the brain shows that we use the patterns and stresses of speech to distinguish white lies from truth more so than non-spoken cues.
If you're not being sincere, the guy will hear it in your voice., Most of the time, gracious compliments will be greatly appreciated.
However, it's not always appropriate to give compliments — doing so at inopportune times can be slightly embarrassing at best (and a major faux pas at worst).
Below are just a few examples of times when you won't want to give a guy a compliment, or at least will want to keep your compliment short and polite:
At solemn occasions (funerals, memorials, etc.) After he's just been embarrassed When his jealous significant other is around When he's concentrating on something difficult It's worth being aware that some guys can get embarrassed if they receive a compliment (especially a romantic one) when they're in front of their friends.
In this case, since the guy is worried about saving face in front of his buddies, your compliment may have the opposite effect as you intended. , Nothing spells sincerity like a smile! For some guys (especially those who are attracted to you), the simple pleasure of seeing your smile can be a compliment in itself! Even if you have no romantic intentions and you're just happy for your guy friend, a natural, warm smile will make your compliment much more meaningful than one given with a deadpan or gloomy expression.
Smiles are simple means to validate someone; When you smile at someone you help to let them know things are okay., When it comes to giving compliments, short is always sweet! Don't ramble on about how nice the guy you're complimenting is, how great his hair is, and so on.
Focus on one action or aspect of the guy that you find nice, make your compliment, then carry on as normal.
Remember: the more compliments you give, the less memorable each compliment will be.
Long strings of compliments can sometimes give the impression that you have an obsession or crush on the person you're complimenting.
Even if this is true, try to avoid it! For example, consider which of the following is likely to win your crush's affection: "Hey, Dave, you look great! Have you been working out?" or "Hey, Dave, you look great! Have you been working out? I noticed that your biceps looked a little bigger.
They go really well with your smile.
You have fantastic teeth, by the way.
They're almost as white as the paint on your car, which, in my opinion, was a really smart color choice..." American compliments tend to be considerably shorter than other cultures.Length of a proper compliment varies by culture., When in doubt, abide by the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."In other words, compliment him the way you would want him to compliment you.
Remember, no matter how dreamy or intimidating this guy may seem, he's just an ordinary human being like you.
There are things he worries about every day, things he's not good at, and ways that he's not perfect, just like you! So don't be afraid to approach him and give him a compliment when it's appropriate — there's a decent chance he might even be more bashful about it than you.
About the Author
Joseph Hall
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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