How to Cope With Being a Social Outcast
Confide in a loved one., Diversify your social options.Cast a wide net in seeking friendships., Start small., Recognize that the end of a friendship is not failure., Remain dignified and polite., Resist obsessive FOMO (fear of missing out) behavior...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Confide in a loved one.
Although it can be difficult, it can help to find a supportive person in your life who will be a good listener, like your parents, a favorite teacher, or other loved ones.
When young people are hurting because of their relationships with their peers, they should confide in supportive adults.Talk about how you feel when you are excluded.
Feeling like you are heard and understood can help make you feel better.Talking to an adult will also let you know that you are not alone. -
Step 2: Diversify your social options.Cast a wide net in seeking friendships.
Often when a person is a social outcast in one place, like in school, that person will be accepted in other places, like on a sports team.Putting yourself in multiple settings will increase your chances of making friends.
Doing multiple extracurricular activities that you like will give you more opportunities to make friends.
It may even be easier to make friends through extracurricular activities because you will find other kids who share your interests.
Focus on your interests.Join a sports team, sign up for a theater troupe, take an art class, go to summer camp, or find another activity that you are genuinely interested in.
Then focus on having fun and fostering your interests instead of just on making friends.Raise your self-esteem.
Through participating in extracurricular activities that you like, you will gain a sense of passion and purpose.
Doing something you like and that you eventually become good at will raise your self-esteem.
People with self-esteem are attractive to others, so learning to value yourself will help you to make friends.Consider finding friends online.
Seeking out people your age who share your interests is easier today than ever before.
Look for web pages and clubs devoted to your interests.
Just be sure to use the internet responsibly and with parental supervision. , Focus on making just one new friend to start.
Having just one close friend has been shown to strengthen children's connectedness to school and to boost their self esteem.The quality of friendships is more important than the quantity of friends someone has.
One good friend is better than having ten acquaintances.
Once you meet someone you'd like to be friends with, start a conversation with him/her.Ask the person questions about him/herself or his/her interests, or chat about the activity you are both engaged in.
After you've spoken to the potential friend enough that you are friendly acquaintances, invite the person to do something with you.
This can be scary at first, but that is the only way to turn an acquaintance into a friend.Get the person's contact information so that you can follow up with plans after you've invited the person to hang out.Accept invitations that you get from potential friends.Keep making plans and hanging out to let the friendship blossom., Relationships change constantly during the course of a person's life.If a friendship ends, especially during your childhood or teenage years, it's a sad but inevitable part of life.
It is not a failure.
Accept that some friends will leave your life, but that creates an opening for you to make new friends., Although it is normal for friendships to end, the way you end a friendship matters.
The way you act toward people who are not your friends but who ostracize you also matters.
Be the more mature person.Follow this mantra: create distance with dignity.
No matter what your former friends are doing, or how cold or exclusive they become, avoid angry exchanges.Do not badmouth your former friends to others or online.That will just make you look mean and may scare away potential new friends.
In fact, do not to put much energy into the broken friendship or the people excluding you.
Move on and shift your focus to all that is going right in your life, such as the new friendships and activities that help you feel good about yourself., Spending a lot of time on social media, constantly reading other people's updates and obsessing about all of the fun things people are doing without you can lead to unhealthy FOMO (fear of missing out).Realize that people make tend to embellish their lives when they post online.
Your peers may not be as happy as they say they are.
And even if they are, their happiness does not mean you cannot be happy also.
Realize that virtual "likes" and "friends" are not the same thing as in-person friendships.
You can be much happier with only a few good, real-life friends in your life than a person who has thousands of online followers.
Disengage from unhealthy relationships on social media until you feel better.Don't look at your peers' social media accounts for a little while.
Instead, use the time you would have spent online to try new activities, focus on your interests, and make new friends in real life.
Be careful about what you post online.Whatever you post on the internet will be on there forever.
Resist the urge to post unkind things about the people who are ostracizing you.
Again, be the better person, and focus on your interests and potential new social groups than on the people who are excluding you. , The people excluding you may not realize that they are making you feel like a social outcast.
Unless someone is actively mean to you, do not assume that he or she has malicious intentions toward you.
Sometimes not getting invited to something is just an oversight.
Maybe the person you think is excluding you actually thinks you are not interested in being friends with him/her.
Unless that person is actively mean to you, consider being friendly to him/her.
Maybe that person will become your friend.
It gets better.
Most social exclusion happens during adolescence, and most cliques disappear by the end of high school.
Life gets better, and you will not always be a social outcast.
Stay positive, and know that you are not alone. , Do not let what is "popular" discourage you from following your passions and from being your wonderful, unique self.
True friends will respect your independence and unique personality.Definitely do not let your desire to have friends outweigh your knowledge of right and wrong.
Do not do anything you are uncomfortable doing just to make people like you.Speak up when your friends are doing something wrong., People who enjoy true and lasting popularity are those who are good friends, whether they have one friend or one hundred friends.
Being a good friend means being respectful, fair, interested, trustworthy, honest, caring, and kind.So if you want to have friends, be just the kind of friend you'd like to have.Being a good friend will help you keep the friends you have and will attract new friends. -
Step 3: Start small.
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Step 4: Recognize that the end of a friendship is not failure.
-
Step 5: Remain dignified and polite.
-
Step 6: Resist obsessive FOMO (fear of missing out) behavior online.
-
Step 7: Don't take everything personally.People are often so focused on their own problems and their own lives
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Step 8: especially during adolescence
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Step 9: that they aren't really focused on other people.
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Step 10: Stay true to yourself.
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Step 11: Be a good friend.
Detailed Guide
Although it can be difficult, it can help to find a supportive person in your life who will be a good listener, like your parents, a favorite teacher, or other loved ones.
When young people are hurting because of their relationships with their peers, they should confide in supportive adults.Talk about how you feel when you are excluded.
Feeling like you are heard and understood can help make you feel better.Talking to an adult will also let you know that you are not alone.
Often when a person is a social outcast in one place, like in school, that person will be accepted in other places, like on a sports team.Putting yourself in multiple settings will increase your chances of making friends.
Doing multiple extracurricular activities that you like will give you more opportunities to make friends.
It may even be easier to make friends through extracurricular activities because you will find other kids who share your interests.
Focus on your interests.Join a sports team, sign up for a theater troupe, take an art class, go to summer camp, or find another activity that you are genuinely interested in.
Then focus on having fun and fostering your interests instead of just on making friends.Raise your self-esteem.
Through participating in extracurricular activities that you like, you will gain a sense of passion and purpose.
Doing something you like and that you eventually become good at will raise your self-esteem.
People with self-esteem are attractive to others, so learning to value yourself will help you to make friends.Consider finding friends online.
Seeking out people your age who share your interests is easier today than ever before.
Look for web pages and clubs devoted to your interests.
Just be sure to use the internet responsibly and with parental supervision. , Focus on making just one new friend to start.
Having just one close friend has been shown to strengthen children's connectedness to school and to boost their self esteem.The quality of friendships is more important than the quantity of friends someone has.
One good friend is better than having ten acquaintances.
Once you meet someone you'd like to be friends with, start a conversation with him/her.Ask the person questions about him/herself or his/her interests, or chat about the activity you are both engaged in.
After you've spoken to the potential friend enough that you are friendly acquaintances, invite the person to do something with you.
This can be scary at first, but that is the only way to turn an acquaintance into a friend.Get the person's contact information so that you can follow up with plans after you've invited the person to hang out.Accept invitations that you get from potential friends.Keep making plans and hanging out to let the friendship blossom., Relationships change constantly during the course of a person's life.If a friendship ends, especially during your childhood or teenage years, it's a sad but inevitable part of life.
It is not a failure.
Accept that some friends will leave your life, but that creates an opening for you to make new friends., Although it is normal for friendships to end, the way you end a friendship matters.
The way you act toward people who are not your friends but who ostracize you also matters.
Be the more mature person.Follow this mantra: create distance with dignity.
No matter what your former friends are doing, or how cold or exclusive they become, avoid angry exchanges.Do not badmouth your former friends to others or online.That will just make you look mean and may scare away potential new friends.
In fact, do not to put much energy into the broken friendship or the people excluding you.
Move on and shift your focus to all that is going right in your life, such as the new friendships and activities that help you feel good about yourself., Spending a lot of time on social media, constantly reading other people's updates and obsessing about all of the fun things people are doing without you can lead to unhealthy FOMO (fear of missing out).Realize that people make tend to embellish their lives when they post online.
Your peers may not be as happy as they say they are.
And even if they are, their happiness does not mean you cannot be happy also.
Realize that virtual "likes" and "friends" are not the same thing as in-person friendships.
You can be much happier with only a few good, real-life friends in your life than a person who has thousands of online followers.
Disengage from unhealthy relationships on social media until you feel better.Don't look at your peers' social media accounts for a little while.
Instead, use the time you would have spent online to try new activities, focus on your interests, and make new friends in real life.
Be careful about what you post online.Whatever you post on the internet will be on there forever.
Resist the urge to post unkind things about the people who are ostracizing you.
Again, be the better person, and focus on your interests and potential new social groups than on the people who are excluding you. , The people excluding you may not realize that they are making you feel like a social outcast.
Unless someone is actively mean to you, do not assume that he or she has malicious intentions toward you.
Sometimes not getting invited to something is just an oversight.
Maybe the person you think is excluding you actually thinks you are not interested in being friends with him/her.
Unless that person is actively mean to you, consider being friendly to him/her.
Maybe that person will become your friend.
It gets better.
Most social exclusion happens during adolescence, and most cliques disappear by the end of high school.
Life gets better, and you will not always be a social outcast.
Stay positive, and know that you are not alone. , Do not let what is "popular" discourage you from following your passions and from being your wonderful, unique self.
True friends will respect your independence and unique personality.Definitely do not let your desire to have friends outweigh your knowledge of right and wrong.
Do not do anything you are uncomfortable doing just to make people like you.Speak up when your friends are doing something wrong., People who enjoy true and lasting popularity are those who are good friends, whether they have one friend or one hundred friends.
Being a good friend means being respectful, fair, interested, trustworthy, honest, caring, and kind.So if you want to have friends, be just the kind of friend you'd like to have.Being a good friend will help you keep the friends you have and will attract new friends.
About the Author
Deborah Smith
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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