How to Deal with Friends Who Invite Themselves over Without Asking

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Turn them away.

   One easy way to set limits when a friend shows up unannounced is to turn them away and then explain later that you cannot usually hang out unless you know ahead of time because you are so busy.
   
   The next time a friend drops by unannounced, say something like, “I’m sorry, but I am getting ready to leave so I can’t hang out right now.
   
   I’ll call you later, okay?” Then, later on, call or text and say something like, "Things have been so hectic lately, I generally can't hang out unless we arrange it ahead of time."
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   Step 2: Request some notice.

   If the act of showing up announced bothers you more than the person’s company, say something.
   
   It can be as simple as, “It’s nice to see you, but I’d appreciate a phone call next time” or, “I’m happy to get together with you, but I’d like to know earlier in the day if you plan to stop by.” If it’s an enduring problem, make it very clear to the person you’d like some notice before they show up.
   
   For a more direct response, say, “I know you enjoy coming over here and I enjoy seeing you, but I dislike you dropping in.
   
   In the future, I’d like it if you called ahead of time to see if I am available.” , If someone invites themselves to stay with you for an indefinite amount of time, beware.
   
   Ask for specific dates.
   
   If the person needs some time to get on their feet or wants to stay until they find their own place, set some firm limits on how long you are willing to host them.
   
   You don’t want them to wear out their welcome, so make sure you can enjoy them while they are there and not begin to resent them.If you know someone plans to come stay with you, you can say "Here's what we were thinking.
   
   You could come in on Monday, we can do XYZ activities, and then you can head out on Wednesday before we have to do (insert activity).
   
   How does that sound?" You setting up the timeline will prevent you from having to tell them no.
   
   Some say three days is the perfect limit for houseguests.
   
   Others extend their welcome to one week.
   
   Choose a limit that feels good to you that you know you can live with. , If lots of friends invite themselves over or use your house as a place to crash, you might want to make some sweeping changes to what is and is not allowed.For example, if people want to use your home as a party center, make it clear that you are not okay with that and will not tolerate it.
   
   Make a policy that you are not open to host friends of friends.
   
   If people do stay at your place, say that you are not available to drive them or show them around town.
   
   Whatever policies you decide on, communicate them clearly to your friends.
   
   Say, “There have been lots of people over recently, and I find it really draining.
   
   I need to set some limits on what I can handle in terms of people coming over, including who comes over and what I’m willing to do.” , Make consequences clear to someone who doesn’t see how they are affecting you.
   
   For example, if someone is at your door and you have asked them to leave yet they refuse, know what you will do or say to enforce yourself.
   
   You can say, “I’ve asked you to leave, yet you are still here.
   
   You won’t be welcome to come over if this continues to happen.” If the person is a nuisance, say, “If you do not leave within 5 minutes, I will call the police on you.”
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   Step 3: Embrace time limits.

4. 4

   Step 4: Designate policies.

5. 5

   Step 5: Establish consequences.

Detailed Guide

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