How to Deal With Friends Who Stab You in the Back
Accept that the situation has happened., Use affirmations to help release the anger., Focus on intentionally feeling good., Release the tension in your body., Think about what you have learned from the experience.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Accept that the situation has happened.
Avoid wishing that your friend had behaved in a different way.
Allowing yourself to constantly think things like, “Wow, I can’t believe that she did that” will only increase the resentment.
Ruminating over your friend’s actions will only make you feel worse.
Make the decision to accept what has happened so that you can move on. -
Step 2: Use affirmations to help release the anger.
Try reprogramming your negative thoughts toward this person by saying affirmations out loud as often as possible.
Keep saying them until the anger begins to lessen.
Affirmations will help you tell yourself a different storyYou want to use your words to create a different mindset.
The affirmations can be as simple as saying, “I forgive Amy for spreading rumors about me.” , Remind yourself that the anger is actually hurting you more than the other person because it’s impacting your emotional and perhaps even physical health.
Then intentionally choose to focus on something that feels better.
Notice that the bad feelings are not helping you but are actually making you feel worse.
Gratitude can also help to reduce overall anger.
When you feel yourself starting to get angry about the betrayal, choose instead to make a list of all of the things that you have to be grateful for. , When you are angry, your body automatically goes into fight-or-flight mode.However, because your mind and body are connected, when you allow your physical body to relax you can think more clearly and release anger.
Deep breathing is an effective and reliable way to quickly go into a relaxed state.
Here's how to do it:
Sit in a chair with your spine straight.
You’ll probably be most comfortable with the back of the chair supporting your back.
You can also lie down straight on a flat comfortable surface.
Close your eyes and put one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest.
Take a slow deep breath.
Feel the breath start in your diaphragm and work its way up to your head.
You should see the hand on your chest raise.
Then slowly exhale.
The hand on your stomach should raise as the air moves out.
Repeat this process for five minutes to seven minutes or until you feel calmer. , Remind yourself that every situation is an opportunity to learn and grow.
When you’re able to see the silver lining, then it’s easier to release the anger and forgive.Remind yourself that you can either be bitter about the situation or you can find an opportunity to grow from the experience.
Ask yourself the question, “What have I learned from this experience?” Then take a few minutes to explore what comes to mind.
For example, did you learn to be more selective about what you share with others? -
Step 3: Focus on intentionally feeling good.
-
Step 4: Release the tension in your body.
-
Step 5: Think about what you have learned from the experience.
Detailed Guide
Avoid wishing that your friend had behaved in a different way.
Allowing yourself to constantly think things like, “Wow, I can’t believe that she did that” will only increase the resentment.
Ruminating over your friend’s actions will only make you feel worse.
Make the decision to accept what has happened so that you can move on.
Try reprogramming your negative thoughts toward this person by saying affirmations out loud as often as possible.
Keep saying them until the anger begins to lessen.
Affirmations will help you tell yourself a different storyYou want to use your words to create a different mindset.
The affirmations can be as simple as saying, “I forgive Amy for spreading rumors about me.” , Remind yourself that the anger is actually hurting you more than the other person because it’s impacting your emotional and perhaps even physical health.
Then intentionally choose to focus on something that feels better.
Notice that the bad feelings are not helping you but are actually making you feel worse.
Gratitude can also help to reduce overall anger.
When you feel yourself starting to get angry about the betrayal, choose instead to make a list of all of the things that you have to be grateful for. , When you are angry, your body automatically goes into fight-or-flight mode.However, because your mind and body are connected, when you allow your physical body to relax you can think more clearly and release anger.
Deep breathing is an effective and reliable way to quickly go into a relaxed state.
Here's how to do it:
Sit in a chair with your spine straight.
You’ll probably be most comfortable with the back of the chair supporting your back.
You can also lie down straight on a flat comfortable surface.
Close your eyes and put one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest.
Take a slow deep breath.
Feel the breath start in your diaphragm and work its way up to your head.
You should see the hand on your chest raise.
Then slowly exhale.
The hand on your stomach should raise as the air moves out.
Repeat this process for five minutes to seven minutes or until you feel calmer. , Remind yourself that every situation is an opportunity to learn and grow.
When you’re able to see the silver lining, then it’s easier to release the anger and forgive.Remind yourself that you can either be bitter about the situation or you can find an opportunity to grow from the experience.
Ask yourself the question, “What have I learned from this experience?” Then take a few minutes to explore what comes to mind.
For example, did you learn to be more selective about what you share with others?
About the Author
Julie Young
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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