How to Deal With Losing a Best Friend
Accept that people drift apart., Work on meeting new friends., Avoid comparing new friends to your old ones., Pick up a new hobby., Allow yourself to mourn the relationship., Forgive yourself for your own role in the loss of the relationship., Be...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Accept that people drift apart.
Sometimes, regardless of how much effort either person puts into the relationship, people drift apart.
As you grow older, you might find that you and your best friend end up with different interests or goals.
This is very normal, and the last thing you should do is feel guilty about it.Be grateful and glad for the time you did get to bond with your friend.
Even if your friendship has dwindled or changed, you still had that opportunity to know them and grow from it as a person.
As one person, you can only do so much.
If you friend has moved away, or switched schools, or gotten married, there’s only so much either of you can do to keep up with one another.
Don’t fault yourself for your limitations. -
Step 2: Work on meeting new friends.
Regardless of the circumstances of your loss of friendship, don’t let it keep you from inviting new people into your life.
Put yourself out there and make an effort to make new friends.Think about the qualities you really value in a friend.
Look for these qualities in new people.
Don’t be afraid to ask that person in class or at work to hang out, or grab a cup of coffee.
Add some new acquaintances on social media and send them a message., When you lose someone from your life that you were especially close with, it’s easy to compare every new friend to the one you lost.
Instead, recognize the good qualities in each new friend, and learn to embrace them as their own person, rather than trying to use them to fill the spot left by the friend you lost.
Be open minded about making new friends.
Don’t focus on finding a friend who is exactly like the one you lost.
Instead, open your mind to new possibilities, and to making friends in unlikely places. , One quick way to both meet new people and also to busy yourself productively is to pick up a new hobby.
Join a club or sports team, or try a new form of exercise, like yoga or jogging.You might still run into your ex-friend, especially if they still go to the same school, or if they are involved in the same activities.
But, don’t let that deter you from enjoying new things. , Regardless of the circumstances of your loss, you need to let yourself properly get over and process it.
If you are angry, let yourself feel angry.
If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad.
Grieve the relationship so you can get some closure.
Even if your friend still lives nearby or still goes to the same school, getting some closure will help you feel more willing to move forward and be able to look back in happiness rather than anger or sadness. , You might feel guilty if you did not keep up with social obligations to your friend, such as making regular phone calls or making plans to get together.
If you are feeling guilt about these things, then you may feel better if you can find a way to forgive yourself.
Try writing yourself a letter where you acknowledge your part in the loss of the friendship, explain why it happened, and then offer yourself forgiveness.You can also try affirming your forgiveness on a daily basis by saying out loud, "I forgive myself."
If you and your lost friend still share mutual friends, be civil and kind to your former friend when you spend time with them and those mutual friends.
Likewise, don’t speak unkindly of your former friend to those mutual friends you still share.
Talk to your mutual friends and explain to them what happened.
If you’d rather not hang out with them while your former friend is around, politely let them know this. -
Step 3: Avoid comparing new friends to your old ones.
-
Step 4: Pick up a new hobby.
-
Step 5: Allow yourself to mourn the relationship.
-
Step 6: Forgive yourself for your own role in the loss of the relationship.
-
Step 7: Be civil when interacting through mutual friends.
Detailed Guide
Sometimes, regardless of how much effort either person puts into the relationship, people drift apart.
As you grow older, you might find that you and your best friend end up with different interests or goals.
This is very normal, and the last thing you should do is feel guilty about it.Be grateful and glad for the time you did get to bond with your friend.
Even if your friendship has dwindled or changed, you still had that opportunity to know them and grow from it as a person.
As one person, you can only do so much.
If you friend has moved away, or switched schools, or gotten married, there’s only so much either of you can do to keep up with one another.
Don’t fault yourself for your limitations.
Regardless of the circumstances of your loss of friendship, don’t let it keep you from inviting new people into your life.
Put yourself out there and make an effort to make new friends.Think about the qualities you really value in a friend.
Look for these qualities in new people.
Don’t be afraid to ask that person in class or at work to hang out, or grab a cup of coffee.
Add some new acquaintances on social media and send them a message., When you lose someone from your life that you were especially close with, it’s easy to compare every new friend to the one you lost.
Instead, recognize the good qualities in each new friend, and learn to embrace them as their own person, rather than trying to use them to fill the spot left by the friend you lost.
Be open minded about making new friends.
Don’t focus on finding a friend who is exactly like the one you lost.
Instead, open your mind to new possibilities, and to making friends in unlikely places. , One quick way to both meet new people and also to busy yourself productively is to pick up a new hobby.
Join a club or sports team, or try a new form of exercise, like yoga or jogging.You might still run into your ex-friend, especially if they still go to the same school, or if they are involved in the same activities.
But, don’t let that deter you from enjoying new things. , Regardless of the circumstances of your loss, you need to let yourself properly get over and process it.
If you are angry, let yourself feel angry.
If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad.
Grieve the relationship so you can get some closure.
Even if your friend still lives nearby or still goes to the same school, getting some closure will help you feel more willing to move forward and be able to look back in happiness rather than anger or sadness. , You might feel guilty if you did not keep up with social obligations to your friend, such as making regular phone calls or making plans to get together.
If you are feeling guilt about these things, then you may feel better if you can find a way to forgive yourself.
Try writing yourself a letter where you acknowledge your part in the loss of the friendship, explain why it happened, and then offer yourself forgiveness.You can also try affirming your forgiveness on a daily basis by saying out loud, "I forgive myself."
If you and your lost friend still share mutual friends, be civil and kind to your former friend when you spend time with them and those mutual friends.
Likewise, don’t speak unkindly of your former friend to those mutual friends you still share.
Talk to your mutual friends and explain to them what happened.
If you’d rather not hang out with them while your former friend is around, politely let them know this.
About the Author
Grace Jenkins
Creates helpful guides on home improvement to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: