How to Distinguish Between a Friend and a Lover
Be honest, and pose the question., Analyze the emotionalism in the words they use., Understand that it could be both.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be honest
Do you want to know whether your friend has a romantic interest in you? Go ahead, and just ask.
This is the easiest way to find out.
When you get your answer there can be no confusion.A good movie line is always "What am I to you?" It may feel cheesy, but the best thing is just going with it.
If they don't give you a straight answer and you stay with them, then it's probably because you don't know what you want either.
A lover will just know.
They won't be unsure.The bottom line:
If they like you as more than a friend, when you pose the question, they will make that clear, either through words or body language.
If they get really uncomfortable, try to leave, or tell you they don’t feel the same way, accept that they probably have you in the friend zone. -
Step 2: and pose the question.
Do they use the word date? Do they use words that connote affection and emotion? If they are trying to forge intimacy with you using words – if they want to know your every secret – they are probably a lover. "I love you.” It’s obvious, but it’s also true.
Those are the magical words that indicate there’s no way you’re just a friend.
That’s especially true if they say it first.
Do you find yourself talking about what the future might be like with that person? Do either one of you ever bring up the future? If so – you’re probably thinking about being lovers.
Also, people who are lovers will sound more flustered or stressed.
Men may raise the pitch of their voice, and women may lower theirs.Has he hinted that you’re just friends? This is where you might get a hint from him if you've accidentally overdone it.
You’ve asked him to hang out, but he always brings other friends into the equation, for example.
If he’s always pushing you away from one-on-one intimacy, he might be hinting that he thinks of you as a friend. , Or a different answer at different stages of your life.
The best lovers start out as friends.
Sometimes it may happen that a good friend becomes a lover and can become a very good life partner also.
But, it's very important that a good lover should be a good friend first.
It might be more fruitful to ask yourself why the distinction even matters.
While society has categories for varying levels of emotional/physical intimacy, they are just that: categories.
Those categories can easily change or not apply to everyone. -
Step 3: Analyze the emotionalism in the words they use.
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Step 4: Understand that it could be both.
Detailed Guide
Do you want to know whether your friend has a romantic interest in you? Go ahead, and just ask.
This is the easiest way to find out.
When you get your answer there can be no confusion.A good movie line is always "What am I to you?" It may feel cheesy, but the best thing is just going with it.
If they don't give you a straight answer and you stay with them, then it's probably because you don't know what you want either.
A lover will just know.
They won't be unsure.The bottom line:
If they like you as more than a friend, when you pose the question, they will make that clear, either through words or body language.
If they get really uncomfortable, try to leave, or tell you they don’t feel the same way, accept that they probably have you in the friend zone.
Do they use the word date? Do they use words that connote affection and emotion? If they are trying to forge intimacy with you using words – if they want to know your every secret – they are probably a lover. "I love you.” It’s obvious, but it’s also true.
Those are the magical words that indicate there’s no way you’re just a friend.
That’s especially true if they say it first.
Do you find yourself talking about what the future might be like with that person? Do either one of you ever bring up the future? If so – you’re probably thinking about being lovers.
Also, people who are lovers will sound more flustered or stressed.
Men may raise the pitch of their voice, and women may lower theirs.Has he hinted that you’re just friends? This is where you might get a hint from him if you've accidentally overdone it.
You’ve asked him to hang out, but he always brings other friends into the equation, for example.
If he’s always pushing you away from one-on-one intimacy, he might be hinting that he thinks of you as a friend. , Or a different answer at different stages of your life.
The best lovers start out as friends.
Sometimes it may happen that a good friend becomes a lover and can become a very good life partner also.
But, it's very important that a good lover should be a good friend first.
It might be more fruitful to ask yourself why the distinction even matters.
While society has categories for varying levels of emotional/physical intimacy, they are just that: categories.
Those categories can easily change or not apply to everyone.
About the Author
Deborah Kennedy
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow hobbies tutorials.
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